A/N: I should be writing something else but I need to get all my Christmas presents sorted out. I have no clue where this came from. Probably just me wanting to write something and pour all of my horrible sense of humor into it. I regret nothing of this. None of it. Not even the horrible battle of words between Prussia and Poland. Not even the shameless shipping. Or the horrible grammar. Okay, the grammar should be decent enough to not take away from the story. Well enjoy~
It was that time of year again. The one time Austria dreaded more than he even dreaded world meetings at his house. What was even worse is they were staying at America's this year. Why had anyone thought Christmas at America's would be a good idea? Austria's fingers message the bridge of his nose as he tries to calm down.
He looks over to the passenger next to him. Luckily he was next to Sweden and not someone loud like Prussia. He looks over to where Prussia sat. Hungary was stuck sitting next to him and she looked ready to blow up. Austria felt a migraine coming on. He hand't even found suitable gifts for everyone. He had a couple days left so he hoped he could find something.
Austria looks up to see Hungary with an increasingly homicidal aura. Austria stands up walking over to the brunette. She looks up startled when he taps her shoulder.
"We can trade seats." Austria says his cheeks slightly turning pink.
Hungary smiles happily and stands up. As she passes Austria she gives him a peck on the cheek.
"Thank you Roderich." Hungary says walking over to sit next to Sweden.
Austria sits down and immediately regrets his decision. Prussia already had a lock on him and was firing off his word bullets. Each one was a critical strike to Austria's anti-annoyance shielding.
"Hey Austria do you think it would be funny if I bought lingerie and gave it to Italy saying it was from West?" Prussia asks.
Before Austria could answer Prussia was already talking again. Austria really didn't understand why Prussia was even coming with.
"Actually blowing up all of America's sinks and writing 'Russia wuz here' all over the walls would be better."
Yep, he knows why now. All of Europe would have blown up if Germany had left Prussia alone for the week and a half they were staying at America's. Austria looks at his watch and nearly groans when he sees they still have three hours left before they reach the United States.
Austria looks to the right to see Latvia sitting next to Denmark. The small nation was probably shaking the whole plane he was so terrified as Denmark's arms swung around. Latvia was nearly bent in half backwards his head in the aisle as he tried to keep safe. Norway didn't look to happy about Denmark's extreme enthusiasm either. Iceland was mumbling something in Icelandic angrily.
Austria decides quickly he wouldn't care for whatever conversation was happening over there. The other countries around him included Ukraine, Poland, France, Italy, Liechtenstein, Greece, Switzerland, and Spain. Switzerland eyes speak murder as he glares at Greece. The cat-loving nation had fallen asleep and his cheek was pressed against Liechtenstein hair. Even Switzerland's death glare couldn't wake up the nation and the only other countries within nudging distance were France, Romano, and Spain. Austria couldn't see Switzerland trusting any of them to wake Greece up without causing something bad to happen.
"So have you heard any good rumors?" Prussia asks.
Austria raises one eyebrow at Prussia. What was Prussia now? A old busy body in the peanut gallery? Austria just ignores him.
"I heard that Prussia is like totally not awesome." Poland says now turned around in his seat.
Poland was smirking at Prussia and resting his chin on his arms. Ukraine, who was sitting next to him, was beginning to get a large blush. Austria briefly wondered why before looking at the flabbergasted Prussia.
"Prussia is awesome and pink sucks!" Prussia retorts.
"Pink is gorgeous just because your fat ass can't pull it off doesn't mean it isn't a million times more awesome than you." Poland says.
"Well, your flag is boring." Prussia says back.
"Wow, you're worse at comebacks than at winning-" Poland gets cut off by Ukraine who finally got her tongue back.
"P-Poland I can see your underpants." Ukraine stutters.
"Like, really? Cute aren't they, I like got them in Canada last time I was there." Poland says shacking his bottom making the miniskirt he was wearing rustle.
Ukraine faints and Austria just shakes his head turning away from the group talking. There was some more talking about this 'Canadia' place. Austria almost asks who but quickly realizes that would be a horrible idea.
Austria almost slouches in his seat. Of course that would be overly unseemly so he resists the urge. Austria hears foot steps and sees Japan walking back to his seat. The quite man had been spending the night at Italy's house and Hungary had a field day with that. He had spent the entire next day listening to Hungary say a bunch of things that sounded like gibberish to him. Austria was brought from his thoughts by a yelp.
Latvia wasn't quick enough dodging Denmark's arms and had been hit. Japan quickly caught him preventing the violently shacking country from causing damage to himself and others.
"T-thank you Mr. J-japan." Latvia says still dazed his head resting against Japan's chest.
Everyone tenses when a chant of 'Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolk ol' starts up. Austria turns to see Russia standing up and in two long strides puts his hand on Japan's shoulder.
"That are you trying to do to little Latvia?" Russia asks with an overly large smile on his face.
"I was trying to stop him from getting injured Russia-San." Japan says putting Latvia back in his seat and turning to the much larger nation.
To Japan Russia didn't look very intimidating since to stand up without hitting his head his head was bent to the side and his knees were bent. Really if things got bad Japan could maneuver much more quickly than Russia.
"Da, thank you Japan. I'll go back to sitting next to Lithuani-" Russia looks back to see a very startled Finland sitting next to Lithuania and the only open seat next to Belarus.
Russia moves to grab Latvia, most likely to take his seat but Iceland moves Latvia out of the way. Everyone stares at the comical display. Somehow Iceland was able to move Latvia's upper body so Russia couldn't grab him. The nation being moved around like a joystick was nearly in tears. Japan slinks back to his seat and Austria looks towards the front of the plane ignoring the mess next to him.
Oh look, Germany fell asleep. Lucky bastard. Austria nearly falls into the temptation of pouting.
Ukraine stands up to go to the bathroom. The arguing going on probably becoming too much for. Almost as soon as she stands up Russia makes one desperate attempt to grab Latvia and Iceland shoves Latvia straight towards Ukraine, or more towards her 'tracts of land'.
Before there was any extreme awkwardness between Ukraine and Latvia she dodges. Latvia manages to only touch her stomach but Ukraine had sacrificed Iceland instead of herself. Somehow Iceland ended up falling against Norway so his head was nestled at the base of his older brothers neck. To make things worse Latvia ended up sprawled across Iceland his nose pressed painfully against Iceland's shirt.
Austria blinks at how fast Hungary was next to him with a camera. In the confusion Russia took Latvia's seat. Iceland manages to move himself away from Norway's lap and sits correctly in his chair while helping Latvia get himself up as well. Everything was going well until Hungary's foot was in the wrong place, or for her the right place, and Latvia fell forward. His lips mashed against Iceland's and he instantly pulled back shacking like a leaf. Iceland glares angrily at Hungary.
When Iceland notices Russia everyone moves a little bit aways. Iceland stands up and everyone blinks at how fast Belarus took his seat. Iceland sighs and goes to take Belarus' seat and pulls Latvia along with him. Latvia was still stammering and had a large blush. Hungary was busy taking pictures of Iceland holding onto Latvia's wrist. Iceland may or may not have had a blush as well but that is up for debate. His face could have been red out of rage, the world may never know. Austria wonders when everyone would stop acting gay.
"But honey they might actually be gay." Hungary says with a happy fangirl blush on her face.
"I thought you didn't ship Icelat." Austria deadpans.
"I take what I get." Hungary says in a chipper voice.
After a while things calm down and Austria rests his eyes. For two hours everything goes smoothly. When that two hours was half way to becoming three hours there was a shriek from the mens bathroom. France is thrown out and an angry Britain is throwing luggage at him. Latvia shrieks as Britain rushes past. Hungary pulls out her camera as the two men start grappling on the floor. Eventually France is pinned under Britain. The smaller blond straddling his hips. France starts 'hon'ing and Britain brings a fist up full intent on beating up France.
Before any of the usual fight splitting up countries could react Latvia grabs Britain's fist. Britain turns around angrily then stops and looks at crying Latvia. Britain's weakness for children kicks in and he lowers his fist.
"P-please Mr. Britain don't b-beat up Mr. F-france if you do then w-well be banned from this airline as well." Latvia says.
Hungary face palms at that being the reason hoping for some nice friendfiction material. Estonia says something about Latvia's word vomit while turning the page on his kindle. Hungary slumps into her seat.
The rest of the flight was quite and they landed without a hitch. Austria was so happy to be on land. He had a slight skip in his step as he walks through the terminal than he bumps into someone, someone dressed as an elf. He looks over and sees a morbidly obese man dressed as Santa and shoveling burgers in his mouth. There were horribly remade Christmas classics blaring. Austria falls to his knees.
"WWWWWWHHHHYYYYYY!" He screams before passing out.
A/N: Crummy ending is crummy. Merry late Christmas Feliks. Yep, lots of ships, most of which you don't ship. Kesesesese all part of my evil plot. Crack ships everywhere! Now go find some brain bleach. Don't use the generic brand though.