Whatever Happened to the Hyperactive Ninja?
Disclaimer: You wanna know who really made up this stuff? Naruto is created by Masashi Kishimoto, Superman is created by Jerry Siegal and Joe Shuster, Batman by Bill Finger and Bob Kane. Darkseid and the New Gods by Jack "the King" Kirby.
Consider this story a gift in honor of Superman and Batman's 75th Anniversary.
"I can say without a doubt that there are an infinite number of universes.
Some are just like our own...but for one or two significant events, exactly the same.
- Lex Luthor
"And then there are those universes out there that are just plain crazy! With ninjas! But they all wear bright colors so you can spot 'em a zillion miles away! And they shoot fireballs with funny looking eyeballs while summoning giant frogs out of nowhere! Crazy, isn't it?
- The Joker
"Shut up, Joker."
- Lex Luthor
Chapter 1: The Valley at the End of the Universe
The explosion was heard all across the universe.
It started at that place known as the Valley at the End. Uzumaki Naruto's blood boiled with the fury of the demon fox that lived within. The dark chakra of the Kyuubi no Kitsune seeped through his blood and bubbled up through his skin. The spiraling Rasengan in his hands grew into a dark purple sphere of roiling power.
On the other side of the river, Uchiha Sasuke transformed into a monster. A pattern of black flames crawled over his skin. A pair of hideous leathery wings exploded from his backside in a shower of blood. With the stone gray face and the eyes of a devil, Sasuke stared at his opponent on the other side. A murderous smile crossed his lips. A Chidori formed in his hand. Not the normal kind. The crackling bolts of lightning shifted to deep black tendrils. It sounded deeper, more threatening, like a swarm of birds taking flight in a thunderstorm.
"RASENGAN!"
"CHIDORI!"
They charged at the same time. Naruto with his demonic Rasengan. Sasuke with his cursed Chidori. They collided in the middle of the waterfall. The valley erupted with a bright white light. Their chakras clashed and melded together as one. A black sphere of solid dark matter formed and encased the two shinobi. Locked away inside the sphere, Naruto and Sasuke were pulled beyond time and space. They hovered in a silent, empty white void, just staring at each other. Pushing through the empty space, Sasuke jabbed his clawed fingers into Naruto's chest. Naruto's claws reached forward and scratched a line through Sasuke's forehead protector. He struggled to reach further, to grab Sasuke by his shirt and force him back.
Then the hot, dense sphere filled to capacity and ignited in a spectuacular explosion. The Valley at the End filled with blistering radiance, like the heart of a star. The mighty statues of Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara shuddered. The stone walls crumbled. The winds scattered. The trees bent in the hurricane winds.
After the the storm of chakra died away, the light dissipated. The empty Valley darkened and grew as silent as a graveyard. Black storm clouds gathered in from the east, hiding away the last rays of sunlight.
Sasuke's eyes flashed open as the icy rain pelted against his skin. He lurched to his feet and stared at his reflection in the rippling pools of water before him. He reached a hand towards his back. Those massive wings...the Cursed Seal was gone. His skin was back to normal as the black patterns retreated back into the Seal of Heaven. His body was drained of chakra. Up ahead, Naruto lay unconscious, floating like a dead man in the river. He left no trace of that red fox demon chakra behind.
Sasuke limped his way across the river towards Naruto. He reached down with an open hand and stopped inches away from his throat.
"What do I do now?" Sasuke asked himself. "Do I kill him? Is that what I truly want to do?"
He glanced upwards and glanced at the woods ahead, cloaked in shadows. Orochimaru's lair was down there somewhere. The snake lord was expecting him, promising him the power he sought. There was no time to waste. Leave Naruto behind, he thought. Maybe someday he'll find me again and we'll see what happens then.
Sasuke left the Valley and stepped into the darkened woods filled with old, gnarled trees. A canopy of rotted leaves blocked away all light.
A strange, otherworldly sound hummed in the air that only grew stronger the further Sasuke journeyed into the darkness. The dead leaves on the ground whipped into a swilring frenzy. Sasuke leapt back and let his guard up as a gleaming light exploded, nearly knocking him off his feet. The light grew and widened into a giant yellow tube formed out rippling circles of light. Sasuke reached for a kunai as two figures stepped out of the tunnel. They were backlit by the tube's light, little more than silhouettes.
The first was a hulking brute with a savage look on his face. His wild black hair framed his face like a lion's mane. His thick, black boots shook the ground as he stomped toward Sasuke, his back hunched over. He gripped a heavy metal rod in his hand. Sasuke had never seen a weapon like that in his entire life. Something like that could not have been made on this world.
"Is this the one we want?" the brute asked the slimmer figure behind him.
Sasuke glanced towards the shadowy figure behind him. A tall, lanky man covered in tattered red robes.
"Yes," the man said. He stepped towards Sasuke. His hood concealed a withered face and greasy black hair. "Your name is Uchiha Sasuke, is it not?"
"And what if it is? Who are you supposed to be?"
"They call me Desaad," the man rasped. "This is Kalibak. We have been sent from afar to bring you before our great Lord Darkseid. Our esteemed master has requested your audience."
"Where is the other one?" Kalibak asked in a huff. His heavy breathing sent a foul smelling mist wafting through the cold air.
"Who?"
"That punk you just had a slugfest with. He who is possesed by the legendary demon fox."
"Ungh..." Naruto awoke to the sound of his name, his head in a daze. "What the Hell is this?"
"There you are." Naruto saw a dark skinned caveman lumbering torwards him wielding a giant mace. Naruto took one look in the big guy's eyes and knew he was an asshole. And that he was pissed.
"Your name, brat," the ogre leveled his mace to Naruto's face. "Speak."
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto," Naruto stood up, pushing the club out of his face. "Who the Hell are you?"
"Uzumaki Naruto," the thug grabbed his arm in a bone crushing grip, and snarled. "Lord Darkseid summons you. You will come with us now."
"Who? Get outta my face, you dumb gorilla." Naruto pulled his hand away and pulled his face away from Kalibak's stinking breath. "You can tell this Dorkseid guy or whatever that me and Sasuke are going nowhere."
Kalibak sneered. "Yes. You will." He lifted his mace, flaring with electrical power, and slammed it into Naruto's gut. With a sharp cry of pain, Naruto stumbled backwards into the river.
"That's enough," Sasuke called out, stopping Kalibak before he could bash Naruto's brains in. "We're going. Just what does this Darkseid guy want with us?"
Kalibak smiled. "Lord Darkseid wishes to offer you his aid. He awaits for you on Apokolips."
Naruto lurched to his feet, clutching his aching stomach. "Wait, Sasuke. You're not seriously thinking about going with these guys, are you?"
"Shut up," Sasuke snapped, then turned to Desaad. "Where is this Apokolips?"
"For you? Not far. Come. Our master does not like to be kept waiting," Desaad said as he beckoned Sasuke to follow him through the boom tube.
"Move along, impudent dog," Kalibak snarled and shoved Naruto through the gate. The four disappeared in a flash of light, leaving no trace behind.
The boom tube closed with a thundercrack. Naruto fell face first onto a hard stone floor. He lifted himself out of the dirt and looked around. A vast city carved of metal and stone stretched out as far as he could see. Black iron towers reached up to the bleak red sky. The air rippled with heat distortion. Giant fire pits dotted across the hellish landscape spat out columns of flame that reached up to the smoke filled skies. In the distance, the sound of war drums rumbled. Demon armies mustered across the stony wastelands. Down below, Naruto heard the groans of human slaves, trudging along in chains, their broken, miserable bodies smeared in mud and blood.
"Welcome to Apokolips," Desaad said. "Follow me." He gestured towards a vast palace in the center of the city.
Desaad and Kalibak led the two of them through the mazelike corridors of the palace, across a winding walkway, flanked by flames and shadows.
"Sasuke, we shouldn't be here," Naruto whispered.
"Don't say anything stupid," Sasuke warned, "and we might make it out of this place alive."
Desaad chuckled. "Oh, don't plan to leave us too soon, Uchiha Sasuke. I think you will enjoy your stay on Apokolips. If there is anyone who can teach you to slay Itachi, it is the great, mighty, awesome, all powerful Lord Darkseid."
A pair of massive steel doors creaked open. Naruto and Sasuke stepped inside the wide, open chamber, hewn from black marble. The room glimmered from the vast collections of gold, gems, strange weapons and artifacts gathered from the farthest reaches of the cosmos, all brought together in the royal chamber. Stretching up towards the citadel ceiling were giant stained glass windows reflecting the fiery light from outside. Images carved into the glass depicted ancient battles where gods fought and died, their blood spilled in rivulets through the cracks of the planet. The light shining through bathed the chamber in a deep ruby glow.
At the far end of the chamber stood an enormous figure. His charcoal grey skin appeared to be chiseled from a mountain, and clad in midnight blue armor that shined in the firelight. He stood with his back towards them, arms clasped behind him, as he gazed down upon his burning world, swirling in a crimson void. Before his eyes, all of Apokolips was laid out before him.
"Greetings, Uchiha Sasuke. Uzumaki Naruto," the Lord of Apokolips spoke as he turned to meet them. Smoldering eyes burned with infernal power. "I am Darkseid, Lord of Apokolips, and soon, the universe."
Kalibak and Desaad bowed their heads and slipped put of the chamber. The steel doors slammed shut leaving Naruto and Sasuke alone with Darkseid.
"I have been searching across this vast cosmos for a long time," he said as took a seat on his throne. "You are no doubt wondering why you are here and how did I come to know of you and your world. Imprisoned beyond the Source Wall at the bleeding edge of reality, I have seen worlds that you could not fathom in your wildest nightmares. Far realms filllng the mind with visions that push the mind beyond the borders of conception. That search has brought the two of you to me. It is you that can lead me to the Anti-Life Equation."
"Hn. Never heard of it," Sasuke said, looking very bored. "Why should we help you?"
"You won't go unrewarded," Darkseid said. "You, Uchiha Sasuke seek vengeance against your brother Itachi for murdering your clan. An admirable goal. I can make that happen. Under my guidance, you will deliver vengeance to your brother. I will give you power the likes of which you have never seen. Nothing ever escapes my vengeance. For I am the Tiger Force at the Center of of all things. In return, I ask you to become my knight. Fight for me and together we will bring this universe to its knees."
"All right. I accept," Sasuke said. His answer was cold, dispassionate.
"Sasuke..." Naruto's fear quickly turned to rage. Fists balled into his hands. The sudden urge to punch some sense into Sasuke was overpowering.
Darkseid slouched back on his throne, watching the boy's emotions rise. A small smirk curled around his lips that he hid with a finger sliding across his face. "That symbol of your village has been scratched out, I see, Sasuke," he said. "You left them behind with no regrets. So you've cut all ties with your village?"
Sasuke nodded. "Yes."
"Good. Then will you fully pledge your loyalty to me, your new lord and master?"
"Yes."
Naruto stared at Sasuke wide eyed, frozen with shock. He snapped out of his trance only when Darkseid spoke his name in his deep, menacing voice.
"Uzumaki Naruto, you too have a very important place in Apokolips. You will find yourself well at home here, given the demon that dwells inside you. Here, I offer you a place where we will harness your powers. If only you would have been born and raised on Apokilips. Nobody would shun you. Nobody would call you monster. You are not alone here, child. Will you join with Sasuke?"
Naruto stared long and hard at the dark tyrant's rocky face. His eyes hardened.
"...Never."
Flames seeped out of Darkseid's glowing eyes, casting the contours of his face deeper in shadows. "You really only have two options," he said. "Either join me. Let me help you appreciate this gift that has been bestowed upon you. Become my greatest weapon, my engine of destruction against my enemies. Or you can become nothing more than an animal, locked in a cage. Your choice."
Naruto sneered at the dark lord. "You don't get to tell me what choices I can make...Dorkseid."
"That demon that lives inside you might feel differently," Darkseid said. "Look inside that seal you carry. This creature, this...Kyuubi no Kitsune, rests deep within its prison. It feeds on your hatred. It hungers for blood. It relishes destruction. It wants to come out. Deep in the recesses of your mind, it sits and waits. Waiting to unleash its hellish might. You don't have the will to keep him contained forever, but I can show you how to master this power. To summon him at your beck and call. Let me free you of this burden, Uzumaki Naruto."
"You talk a lot," Naruto said softly. "And I can't understandhalf the things you're saying, rockhead. Yeah, I know this fox is kind of an asshole, but compared to you? Hell, even Kyuubi wants nothing to do with the likes of you." Naruto's voice grew louder. Red swirled around his eyes. Darkseid noticed it and smiled.
"You need a lesson in humility, boy," Darkseid said. "A shame to see such potential go to waste. You would rather return to that village? You think there is honor and glory awaiting you? That you will become Hokage? That will not be your fate, Uzumaki Naruto."
"You're damn right I'm gonna become Hokage," Naruto shouted. "Sasuke! Let's take this guy together. We can beat him."
Sasuke sighed. "You really are an idiot, Naruto. I told you not to say anything stupid, but you din't listen. I've already made my decision. I will become Darkseid's knight."
"Sasuke!" Naruto looked ready to strangle the guy. "Seriously, have your Sharingan learn a bullshit detecting technique! Look at him! He's evil!"
"What makes you say that?" Sasuke asked.
"Get a clue!" Naruto shouted. "He's looking for a thing called the Anti-Life Equation. What do you think something like that does? He just called himself the Tiger Force at the core of all things. And his name is Darkseid. You don't trust a guy named Darkseid. This guy is an evil fucker. How many clues do you need?"
"I don't care about any of those things," Sasuke said calmly. "We can use this. He can get what I need done."
Naruto threw his hands up in the air. "He's not gonna deliver you a damn thing!"
Darkseid's eyes flared with power. "I have heard enough from you, demon child. I am tempted to use my Omega Beams and vaporize every last trace of your existence from this universe. You and the horror that dwells inside you. But no. I have something better planned."
The massive doors opened again. Kalibak came stomping back into the chamber. Following him was some fat, white haired old fart wearing black lipstick. A sadistic smile crossed the old one's pruned lips. The newcomer was draped in an amber cape and wore a bodysuit the color of green snot.
"Ah, Lord Darkseid," the elder greeted with a deep, baritone voice. "I see you have chosen your new champion. How splendid. We look forward to seeing many great deeds from you, Uchiha Sasuke." The old geezer looked at Sasuke with such a creepy grin, he could've given Orochimaru a run for his money.
"I leave the boy in your care, Granny Goodness," said Darkseid, gesturing to Naruto.
"Wait! Granny?" Naruto freaked out and sputtered, pointing at the white haired hag. "You mean that's a woman?"
The old crone cackled. "Oh, what an ill mannered, nasty tempered boy you are. Don't you worry, though. Granny Goodness will teach you some respect."
"A pity," Darkseid said. "You could have been a king, Uzumaki Naruto. A Demon Lord of the Underworld. You could have summoned the lords of darkness and commanded the stars. All would have trembled before you. Now, you will live a wretched existence in the slave pits. You will be shackled to the machines that drive Apokolips. Your body will ache. Your flesh will peel. Your skin will bake. Your soul will harden. Your blood will run through the bricks of my cities, and then I will have that demon extracted from your lifeless withered shell."
"Yeah, Whatever," Naruto said, crossing his arms and turning his back to the dark lord. "As long as I don't have to listen to your dumb speeches anymore. Or stare at this hag's sagging tits any longer."
"Insolent dog!" Kalibak roared. His mace blazed with lightning and he jammed it up Naruto's spine. Naruto screamed in agony as white hot energy lanced through his body, frying him inside out. Kalibak pulled away, allowing Naruto to collapse to the floor in a smoking heap. He writhed on the floor, lightning still scrackling along his body.
"This is but a taste of what's in store for you, Uzumaki Naruto," Darkseid said as he loomed over him. "Fear. Distress. Despair. That will be your lot."
His eyes blinded by flashing spots, Naruto crawled on the ground, reaching out with trembling hands. He felt something. Someone's foot. Naruto lifted his neck up. It was Sasuke.
"Damn it, Sasuke. Don't just stand there like that. H-help me..."
"It's too late, Naruto," Sasuke said. He turned his back away and kneeled before Darkseid. Once he saw that, Sasuke, his friend pledging allegiance before the god of evil, the despair that Darkseid spoke of set in, far more painful than the fires or the weapons of this miserable planet. Naruto plopped his head onto the cold stone floor, unable to move a muscle. Kalibak stood over him with a set of heavy steel shackles. Naruto winced as the cold metal clamped down tight on his arms and legs.
"Take him to the Fire Pits," said Darkseid. "The next time the two of you meet, if you meet, will be very different. Sasuke will be the most powerful warrior in the universe. You will be nothing but a slave condemned to the lowest pits in existence. Go there, Uzumaki Naruto. Take your beliefs and your dreams with you and die there with them. Watch your will of fire flicker down into a dying flame. When they are snuffed out, you will be left to wallow in despair. Then, when you cry in your dreams, it will be Darkseid that you see."
With a motion of Darkseid's hand, Kalibak and Granny Goodness took Naruto, defeated, slipping in and out of consciousness. The chamber doors slammed shut once more, leaving Sasuke alone, kneeling before his new master. The crackling of the fire and the moans from the people outside echoed in the vast chamber.
"Rise, Sasuke. Today you will become my apprentice. A new era of conquest is upon us."
To Be Continued
Notes from the Batcave: This story takes place after Part 1 of the Naruto manga obviously, and in the DCAU after Justice League Unlimited. How Darkseid returns will be exlained later. There will also be Teen Titans.
Anything else to say? Ah, yes. Pairings. Haven't decided yet. We'll see. Feel free to toss in your opinions about that. You may enter all your reviews, comments and thoughts below in this forbidden white box of mystery.