The Fault In Us - Where I Am Now

Hey guys, so originally the letter was just a one time thing and then I was trying to think of another TFIOS story and I just started tying this again. I already know this one is shorter and not as good but I'm thinking of making this a series, I'm not too sure yet. Very OOC. I don't own.

READ THE FIRST ONE BEFORE THIS (I'm not saying you have to it's just highly recommended:)

Dear Mr Van Houten,

I'm sorry for bothering you again when I know that you won't even read this but once again I feel the need to talk to someone and spill all my emotions out. You see, Augustus Waters is the perfect person. Now that I know what's actually happening to him and I feel scared not just for him but also for me. My sanity is the one thing that is trying to claw its way out and escape from me.

In this small world he is my everything and now that I know what's happening I feel scared that both of us, the two Cancer patients, may not win the fight after all. Who will it take first, Augustus or me?

I accepted a long time ago that I would die and I know it will happen but I never knew when. After the liquid started to get bad again I thought that the last time I saw Augustus wasn't enough and I knew that when I was gone I would always be uncomfortable due to lack of seeing his face. There is no adjective to describe him so I can't add anything in front of Augustus anymore.

In this life I didn't think it would be possible to find my other half, the other part of me but now I know that I've found him; just knowing that he's in pain all the time pains me. Another side effect to Cancer I guess, pain, or maybe it's just another side effect of dying.

Van Houten, you have to understand that I don't care about your life and I'm positively aware that you don't care about mine. But I know that everyone needs that one person who can never be a friend but will always be there. I thought the last letter was a one-time thing and it was meant to be until things started getting bad again and my thoughts were whirring that I just had to write this to clear it up. It helps me sort out my thoughts and organise them as you've probably noticed they're all over the place.

You've probably heard this a thousand times, but Thomas Edison's last words were 'It's very beautiful over there'. Now nobody knows where there is but I can imagine that it is in fact very beautiful, at least that's what I'd like to imagine that it's a beautiful peaceful place where there is no fighting and dying it's only living and breathing.

You could wonder why I'm telling you all of this, Van Houten, but the answer to that is that my thoughts are simply not making sense because I don't know what to do when I next see Augustus. I know I hate when people pity me and then I receive 'Cancer Perks' but I don't know how to act around Augustus. What do I say? Do I behave normally like nothing's happening; I think he knows me well enough to know that I'm panicking.

It truly is strange, I've only known Augustus Waters for a few months and I feel so alive around him. What will I do without him? I know my last letter was a lot longer than this Peter and I really would like to make it longer but I think that I better sort out my thoughts before I jumble them up more to you.

I really do hope you can get back to me Van Houten, a page, half a page, a paragraph or even a sentence would make me feel a lot better. Try and find some time in your miserable life to contact me back Peter, because I do truly hope that it won't just benefit me but it will also benefit you.

One more thing, Van Houten, if I die before Augustus please give him these letters because I feel that he should know I truly do love him. If he dies before me though, read these letters at the funeral.

Hazel Grace Lancaster

PLEASE READ:

I'm not too sure about this one, I know the first one was a hundred times better and I didn't even think I would post anything this soon but it's a lot of fun.

If you have any suggestions about what I should do in the next one just leave a review,

I hope you like it but I don't think it sounds very Hazel like. Too sappy, I think but still review and tell me what you think:)

Oh, and one more thing,

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living."
― Dr. Seuss

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