Disclaimer – I don't own the Yu Yu Hakusho characters.


Love You Anyway


Her feet pattered across the floor, as she strolled to his office, each second feeling just as awful as every moment had been that week spent as Koenma's personal assistant. The job wasn't what bothered her. Fetching his coffee, bringing him documents, and managing his daily schedule were simple tasks, and a welcomed break from her normal job. What bothered Botan was her closeness to the prince. Being so close made it impossible to deny the feeling she tried so hard to suppress.

Acknowledging her feeling would bring nothing but chaos. As a shinigami, her job was to keep order. So she took souls to their final destination, and closed her heart to persons who did not belong there.

Botan stopped at Koenma's office door, holding the coffee mug he'd asked her to refill. He was in his teenage form, sitting in his chair and reading what she assumed to be one of the many documents requiring his signature. Soon he would drink the coffee she'd brought, and she jealously imagined the ceramic material pressed against his lips.

"Botan?" Her imaginings faded, and she found him curiously looking up at her.

She blushed and scurried to his desk. "Sorry, Koenma sir. I was just spacing out."

"Typical," he chuckled. He reached for his mug, as she reached to set it down. Their fingers brushed, and she quickly withdrew her hand.

I can't feel this way, Botan mentally reprimanded herself. The law does not permit it. Yet she remained in front of his desk, staring into concerned brown eyes.

"Botan?"

She tore her gaze from him, focusing, instead, on the wall to her right. "I think it's time you sent me back to my job." She hoped he would not notice the strain in her voice.

His voice, which had been so warm during her time there, turned cold. "That's not possible. You are to work as my assistant for three weeks as punishment."

Punishment! He had no idea how punishing to her this was. And besides, "It wasn't my fault," she yelled, facing him again.

Seemingly pleased to once again be in her line of vision, his voice warmed. "Of course it was. You delivered a soul destined for hell to heaven."

"But that's what the assignment sheet told me to do!"

"And you think that excuses you?" He lifted his mug to his lips, and Botan's heart filled with so much longing she was sure it would burst.

"Fine, I should be punished, but choose a different punishment. You could make me collect a thousand souls everyday for three weeks. Or something.Anything."

Koenma winced and set his mug down, and Botan wondered if the coffee tasted bad. "Is working with me really that unbearable," he asked

She nodded.

He looked away from her, frowning deeply.

Botan bit her lower lip. She had not meant to upset him. "Sorry, Koenma. I didn't mean to offend you." She'd spoken truthfully, though. Working with him was unbearable. Seeing his face, hearing his voice, and everything about being near him filled her with a longing that was breaking her heart.

Koenma shook his head. "No Botan, I'm the one who should be sorry." He paused. "Botan I…I changed your assignment sheet so that you would mess up."

She gasped. "Why?"

"Because I wanted to be near you. Botan, I know you're a shinigami, and I'm the prince of Reikai, but Botan…I love you." He gazed into her eyes, imploring her for an emotion that was not hers to give.

Shocked, she said nothing. His last words rang in her ears.

He must have taken her silence for rejection, because his face fell. Distractedly, he picked up the document that he'd been reading prior to her arrival. His eyes focused on the words, but she knew he was not reading them.

"Never mind," he whispered huskily. "Just forget I said anything. Go return to being a shinigami."

The pain etched in his face tore at her heart. How she wanted to take his face in her hands and kiss away that pain! But she couldn't. The law did not permit a union between a prince and a lowly shinigami.

Laws were made to create order. Shinigami were to uphold order. Without order, souls would be left to wander Ningenkai and create chaos. Without order Reikai…Reikai would have the most loving couple to ever exist.

"Botan, please leave." Koenma did not look up at her, but she did not need to look in his eyes to know he was experiencing the same torture she'd endured the past week. It was a pain they both would feel for the rest of their long lives.

She could not live like that, would not live like that.

"Koenma." Her voice shook terribly. She was grateful for the waver, doubting he would have otherwise looked up. When he did, his heartbroken face warmed with the tiniest bit of hope. She would not break that hope. "I love you too," she cried.

Then, without waiting for a response, she jumped over his desk and into his arms. Papers scattered, coffee spilled, and the two lovers fell in a heap on the floor.

Botan lay on top of Koenma, her lips just inches away from him. "Botan…" he breathed.

She smiled worriedly. "We're going to be in so much trouble and—"

He cut her off. "I don't care." He pressed his lips against hers.

Botan fervently returned the kiss. As she did, a thought occurred to her. She'd probably be banished. Though even if she was, Koenma would come with her. He loved her. Chaos would follow his departure, forcing the kingdom to do the necessary thing to restore order. Accept their love.

Realization hit her, and she pulled back, smiling at the prince's groaning from the uncoupling of their lips. "We're going to be okay," she told him.

"Of course we will," he affirmed. Then, snaking his hand behind her head, he brought her lips back to his.