A/N: Set a few weeks before Heroes. Happy Shipmas everyone! Written for the GateWorld celebration and for Robin Bishop as part of Secret Santa. Enjoy!
Adrenaline had always been Samantha Carter's greatest weakness. Her constant search for the next hit and having little regard for how she went about getting it had gotten her into plenty of trouble before. But now it had caused harm to someone else and it was the worst possible person she could imagine.
She stared down at the unmoving features of her commanding officer Colonel Jack O'Neill. A million scenarios ran rampant through her mind: she would be discharged, Daniel and Teal'c would never talk to her again, and, the worst of them all, Jack would die.
The race had seemed like a fun opportunity at the time and she just hadn't been able to say no to challenging her CO at what was basically a go-kart race. SG-1 had arrived on the planet the day before to a warm welcome from a culture of about the same level of development as Earth's. The team had been invited to dinner as it was after sunset when they arrived. The go-karts, or voituras as their hosts had called them, had been suggested by one of the younger members of the welcoming party. Sam had lit up at the idea of anything fast and competitive thanks to the need that pulsed through her for that adrenaline rush.
There had been the usual to and fro between her and the colonel over who was going to win. Teal'c had proclaimed that he would not rise to such a petty challenge. He'd claimed there was not enough danger involved after their hosts had told them it was practically impossible to crash the voituras. That had slightly dampened Sam's excitement but when they saw the track and the karts in the morning, Sam's addiction came back full force.
The track was suspended over a gorge that dropped hundreds of metres to darkness. There were steep banking turns and descents of ten metres or more. The most thrilling part of the track's construction being the lack of barriers on the sides – there was nothing between the edge of the track and the long drop to the bottom of the gorge. Sam hadn't been able to stop the grin from spreading across her face. She had turned to the Colonel and had seen a matching one slowly creeping its way from his lips.
"How will this be in any way impossible to crash on?" Daniel had asked, looking warily at the track.
"Don't worry Daniel, the voituras have sensors that tell the onboard computer to take control if it gets too close to the edge. Although, sir, they did tell me last night that it's possible for the computers to be turned off. You know, just in case you wanted a real challenge. Sir." Sam had said with a wry smile towards Teal'c and Daniel.
"Subtle Carter," the Colonel had replied with a smirk, "I'm game if you are?"
"Of course sir," she had replied matching his smirk.
And so the two officers were kitted out and installed into the voituras with the safety protocols turned off. Daniel had looked worried, folding his arms and pulling at his lip but Sam and the colonel had been far too caught up in their adrenaline and competitive rushes to notice. Even with the added danger of no safety protocols, Teal'c had decided to leave this race to the two military officers.
As they had been sat side by side on the start line, Sam had allowed herself the rare chance to lower her guard and show the colonel how she was really feeling. The adrenaline had been pulsing strongly through her and she had grinned broadly across at her commanding officer. She had been able to see the glimmer of adrenaline in his eyes, amplified by the grin that she rarely, if ever, saw.
And before she had known what was happening, the lights in front of her had changed to green and they were off. Remarkably, the voituras had been very simple to operate, functioning much like the go-karts back on Earth with a go and a stop pedal. Steering had been more of foreign concept, with pads that were pressed to go left or right with only the lightest touch needed from a hand.
The first few turns had been interesting as Sam and the colonel learnt to control the vehicles. But after that, it hadn't taken long for them both to start taking more risks for the lead. There had been a particularly interesting turn, where the Colonel had pulled a very risky move to take the lead from Sam. She had been shocked by his willingness to pull such a manoeuvre but it had spurred her on to take more risks herself and the adrenaline reward had been completely worth it.
Unfortunately, the second lap had been their undoing. About half way round, Sam had attempted a particularly reckless move when she'd seen a gap open up to the inside of the colonel as they had been going round a wide bend in the track. Sam had forgotten that the bend ended in a sharper turn and she had soon realised there was no way she was going to make the turn. She had been heading straight for the edge, with no hope of turning the kart when the colonel's kart had collided with her own, sending them both careening away from the edge but while the impact caused Sam's voitura to spin away, the angle had caused the colonel's to flip vertically. It had landed on top of the colonel and Sam had leapt out of her own vehicle as soon as it had come to a stop. Teal'c had somehow made it to the kart before her and they had overturned it together and pulled the Colonel's limp body free. Their hosts had immediately rushed the colonel away to their medics and Sam had been checked over and allowed to follow.
Now, here she stood, looking over the unconscious body of her CO. According to the medics, there were only a few bumps and bruises over the rest of his body but his head (even with a helmet) had taken the brunt of the force as the kart had flipped. A brain scan had revealed some slight swelling but no bleeds so it was just a matter of time to wait and see if he regained consciousness and what neurological damage had been done.
The rush that Sam was getting now was absolutely caused by adrenaline but in the worst way. She was used to the fight or flight reflex kicking in, but hers was generally overwhelmingly fight, not flight. However now all she wanted to do was run. Run away from all of this. She couldn't believe what had happened and how she had let him put himself in harm's way for her again. Her reckless behaviour had meant his injury and she couldn't be in that situation. It caused too much pain. Before she could help it, the tears slipped slowly over her lashes and she sobbed quietly into her hands as she sat by his bed.
Daniel slipped quietly into the room and lay a hand on her shoulder.
"He'll be fine Sam. You know he will," he said softly.
Sam said nothing. Daniel's words were empty. They had no idea whether he would be alright.
"Teal'c's gone back to the 'gate to report in on what's happened. He should be back soon."
"What? No, that should have been me," Sam shot up, turning and glaring at Daniel.
"Sam, it's fine. We thought it would be best if Teal'c did it, you know, avoid too much of an explanation until Jack wakes up." Daniel placed a hand on her shoulder.
Sam wanted to argue, to tell Daniel that she should have been the one to make the report and to own up to what had happened but she was grateful for her teammates looking out for her. She turned and looked back at the still form in the bed. She sighed and sank back into the seat, fighting back the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks again.
"Sam, it wasn't your fault," Daniel said, almost convincingly.
"Oh really Daniel? Then whose fault was it?" Sam replied with more venom than she had meant.
Daniel sighed in defeat and left the room.
Sam awoke to a gentle brush across the back of her hand. She lifted her head slowly as the movement continued. She'd fallen asleep leaning against the bed and had apparently stretched her hand out towards the colonel in her sleep. Said colonel was now holding her hand gently, brushing the back of her hand with his thumb. His gaze caught hers as she lifted her head and he smiled gently at her. The colonel was obviously still a little dazed as his gaze was fuzzy and he was laying back against the pillows propping him up.
"Sir?" Sam said softly, not wanting to break the moment that made her heart leap into her chest. It was completely illicit; this was not the kind of situation a CO and his second in command were supposed to be in but she could not bring herself to break the contact. Her relief at finding him conscious was overriding any other thoughts.
"Carter," O'Neill said quietly, "why does it feel like I've been ten rounds with Teal'c?" He still didn't break the contact with her hand.
"Err, what do you remember sir?"
"Something about go-karts, I think I was winning?"
Sam ducked her head and smirked. "Well I wouldn't say winning exactly... We were in a crash. Actually, you saved me from going over the edge when I tried to make a very risky manoeuvre." Sam ducked her head again, but not to smile this time. "I'm so sorry sir. It was such a stupid thing to do, I got carried away, the adrenaline..."
"Carter, stop. It was a race, the main point of which is usually to win and that's what you were trying to do." There was still the fuzziness in his expression, but it was clearing slowly. However, his thumb never stopped moving across the back of her hand. Sam held on to the contact; it was soothing.
"But, still, you didn't have to put yourself between me and the edge, you didn't know what would happen, we both could have gone over."
"Oh, I'm starting to remember now, I was doing so well. But I wasn't about to watch you plunge to your death Carter, not when I can do something stupid and reckless to stop it." He looked her straight in the eyes, and it just about floored her. "Do you know how much ear ache I'd get from Hammond about letting you die? He'd never let it go. And there would be so much paperwork. No, I don't think there was any other option."
Sam smiled at the gentle jokes and felt the small tears of relief tracking down her cheeks. She looked down once more.
"I was so scared. I don't know what I would do if you di..." She couldn't bring herself to say the words. She felt the contact tighten on her hand and looked up.
"Carter, I'm fine. Look at me, I'm the picture of health besides a headache. And I would take a lot worse if it meant I kept you safe." His fingers intertwined with hers as they shared a look and a memory. Sam was drawn back to that room and the Zatarc detector and the confessions it had pulled unwillingly from both of them. She smiled sadly at her commanding officer and appreciated once again the connection they shared. Feeling like they'd worked something out, she slipped back into the easy command relationship they shared. She noticed that neither of them dropped the other's hand though.
"Well I'm just glad there's no lasting damage. I was petrified what the President would say if I'd got Colonel Jack O'Neill killed by a go-kart. Can you imagine that conversation?" She giggled at her own joke. The colonel smirked then grimaced.
"No jokes please Carter, it just might kill me," he said through the pain and gave her hand a quick squeeze.
"As much as I know you're going to hate it sir, we should probably call the doctor to come and check you over now you're conscious."
"Ugh, fine."
Sam pressed the call button to the side of the bed and it was only when the doctor and nurse appeared at the door that she dropped the colonel's hand. She immediately missed the feeling of his hand in hers but moved away so the doctor could examine the colonel. The doctor told them it would be fine for him to be moved back through the Stargate to the SGC in a day. O'Neill protested but apparently this doctor was as used to dealing with difficult patients as Janet because it was a short argument that ended with a threat of a large needle. The colonel submitted to the day's bed rest shortly after that.
The day passed quickly enough in the end. The team spent it keeping their leader entertained, helped by videos of previous voituras races sent over by their hosts, along with huge amounts of food. Daniel moved into action to assure them that there would be no negative repercussions from the race with the locals. Sam was pretty sure he was feeling pretty superior about the whole thing by the looks and shakes of the head he kept giving her and the colonel when the accident was brought up in conversation.
When they did finally return to the SGC, the colonel insisted on showing his bruises to anyone who would pay him that much attention. Sam was happy to go along with the story that he had been beating her at the time and would have definitely won the race. Even though she was pretty sure that the opposite would have been true. O'Neill was careful not to mention the cause of the accident though, keeping the cause vague when discussing it with anyone outside of the team. There were various theories bouncing around the SGC for a few days but the real reason never seemed to come out and Sam was endlessly grateful to her CO for that. His class continued to astonish her.
The SGC and SG-1 had all but forgotten the whole incident when the colonel invited Sam, Daniel and Teal'c over for a team night. When she arrived, Sam couldn't understand why Daniel was in fits of laughter and Teal'c had a broad grin on his face. They moved aside and she spotted the white Wii console with four white wheel controllers. Mario Kart was just starting up on the screen.
"I thought you could do with some practice Carter," the colonel announced with an innocent look on his face.