Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Slayers" are Copyright Hajime Kanzaka, Tommy Ohtsuka, and Rui Araizumi. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.
Acknowledgment: This story is essentially a sequel to AmberPalette's "Pieces of His Shell", with her kind permission. Xellos and Filia's characters are as AmberPallette has envisioned them, but Beastmaster's characteristics are my conception.
The Green-Eyed Monster
This is magic at its deepest, its most impenetrable . . .
-- "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban", J. K. Rowling
The forest wasn't dark enough. But it was the best that the boy with the sea-green hair could do, since the village was full of the people he wanted to get away from. Especially Mommy and Daddy. Although, he thought, they probably wouldn't look for him anyway. So he did the best he could, climbing one of the few trees he was able to, and concealing himself in the leafiest part.
It didn't work. "Found you!" Came a cheery woman's voice, and the boy felt a playful touch on the back of his head. He started to turn around, and then quickly tried to rub the tear-streaks off his cheeks. "Here, use this." Said the voice, and a handkerchief was passed over his shoulder.
"Thank you, ma'am," he said automatically, and wiped his face with the cloth. It had a scent he didn't recognize, like some kind of fur. He finished, and turned to give the handkerchief back. His first look at the strange lady made him a little curious, for the woman had blond hair like his mother. She was dressed in unusual but very expensive-looking clothing, yet she sat happily on the tree branch with no apparent concern for either getting dirty or losing her balance.
"Hello," said the woman, "do you come here often?"
"Just a couple of times before," said the boy automatically. "Wait -- who are you? I'm supposed to be careful with strangers."
"Oh, I'm not exactly a stranger." The woman lost none of her cheer. "We share a name. You are Val Metallium-Copt, and I'm Zelas Metallium."
Val scuttled back along the branch. "You're daddy's boss! The beast-lady mommy keeps warning me about! Are -- are you gonna kidnap me?"
"No, no." Zelas shook her head. "That's not what I'm here for at all. Is that what your mother keeps saying about me?"
Val nodded. "She says that's why you keep sending daddy on jobs, so she can send . . . um, what are 'minyems'?"
"That's 'minions'." Replied Zelas. "Those are people, or Mazoku, that work for you. But there aren't any minions here, just me. By the way, what did your daddy say when your mommy said that?"
"He always said she was being silly, and then mommy always tried to whack him with her mace."
"I kind of thought so." Zelas smiled. "Here, just to show you that I'm friendly, I brought some chocolates." Val couldn't quite see where Zelas took them out from, but now there was a bright green box in her hands full of tempting-looking chocolates.
"Are you sure they're not poisoned?" Val said.
"Oh yes, I'm sure." Zelas took no offense at the suspicion.
"And do any of them have coconut?" Val was still just as wary.
"Certainly not." Zelas shook her head. "I'll tell you what. Pick out a pair that look good to you. I'll eat one to show you it's safe. Then you can eat the second. Does that sound fair?"
The chocolates were looking tastier by the moment. "Um. . . I guess so." Val found two that looked the same, and took them out. "Here," he said, and held one out.
Zelas took the confection and popped it into her mouth eagerly. "Mmmm. Mousse center with raspberry."
The last of Val's hesitation vanished, and he followed Zelas' lead. It was every bit as delicious as the Mazoku lord had implied. "Wow, that tastes great! I didn't know Mazoku could make good chocolate."
"I'll tell you the truth," Zelas said in a conspiratorial whisper. "We can't. I bought these from the finest chocolate shop in Atlas City."
"Oh." Val said, and then remembered his manners. "Then, thank you very much . . . But you know, Mommy also says you want to take my power when I'm grown up, and use it to become the most powerful Mazoku in the world."
"But I don't need your power for that," Zelas replied. "You see, I already am the most powerful Mazoku in the world. After all, there's only three of the Mazoku lords left." She leaned towards Val as if letting him in on a secret. "And just between us, poor Deep Sea Dolphin isn't right in the head anymore."
"Um," Val said uncertainly, "my Mommy says you made her nuts."
"Who, me?" Zelas put on an expression of wide-eyed innocence. A halo appeared over her head, making Val giggle. "Well, sisters have that effect on each other, sometimes."
"Oh." Val looked uncertain again. "Do sisters make their brothers nuts, too?"
"Not as much as brothers do to sisters." Zelas replied. "But Dynast isn't as powerful as me since he lost both his priest and his general, and had to make new ones. That's why it was clever of me to make Xellos both priest and general."
"Oh." Val thought for a moment. "So even though you made daddy the most powerful of the minyems, uh, minions, it didn't take as much power as making two minions?"
"That's right. You're a clever boy." Zelas nodded. "You see, instead of just trying to get more power, I also like to learn to use the power I have better. It's much safer that way, as Gaav and Phibrizzo found out."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense."
"And you will have lots of power too, when you grow older." Zelas added. "In fact, I think many of the Golden Dragons will be afraid of you. But you can trust your mommy and daddy to protect you. And if you need me, I'll help you too."
"Why would you help me?" Val asked.
"For one thing, most of the Golden Dragons hate me. After all, I'm the most powerful Mazoku left." Zelas pointed out. "But also because I like you."
"You do?" Val still looked a bit confused.
"Yes. You're helping me find out some things I was curious about." Zelas replied. "For instance, can you tell me why were you feeling so sad?"
"It's mommy and daddy." A good deal of Val's unhappiness returned. "They're going to have a baby. A girl. And then they won't love me anymore."'
"Are you sure about that?" Zelas asked.
"Everyone says that girls are cuter than boys." Val answered.
"Not everybody." Zelas shook her head. "I think boys can be just as cute as girls. Has Xellos told you that I'm not just his boss, I'm his mommy?"
"Yeah, but I didn't really understand it when he told me he didn't have a daddy." Val admitted.
"Well, it is kind of different." Zelas said. "We Mazoku don't have babies the way that humans and dragons do. I didn't need a daddy for Xellos. I made him all by myself, so I could choose whether he was a boy or girl. I chose a boy, and I must say I'm very happy I did."
"You are?" Val had forgotten his fear of Beastmaster entirely by now.
"Oh, yes." Zelas nodded. "And that brings up something else. Have you noticed that Xellos is happy most of the time? That he's almost always smiling?"
"Yeah." Val said. "He says it's because he gets to be around Mommy and me."
"That's my silver-tongued devil." Zelas looked pleased. "But did he also tell you it hurts Mazoku when people near them are happy?"
"Uh-huh." Val nodded.
"But when you or your mommy are happy, it doesn't bother him."
"Hey . . . that's right." Val's eyes widened.
"When there's a connection between Mazoku, they can't affect each other with positive emotions. Since I made Xellos with my own power, his being happy doesn't hurt me. But it also means I can't absorb it very well when he's feeling bad."
"Really?"
"Yes, really. It's kind of like trying to eat vegetables that have been boiled for too long. They don't taste good, and they're not as healthy for you, right?"
"Oh, I get it." Val said. "Like that time daddy left the carrots in the pot when he was fixing the bed after it suddenly broke."
"Your daddy has all sorts of talents, doesn't he?" Zelas managed to keep a straight face.
"Yeah . . ." Val's faced turned sad again. "I wish I knew why he and mommy got tired of me."
"I don't think they're tired of you at all." Zelas said. "They just can't help being excited about the new baby. She'll be the first Mazoku-Ryukozu hybrid hatched, after all."
"I wish I could be that special." Val's eyes started to get watery again. He tried hard to stop it since he hated crying in front of others.
"But you are!" Zelas exclaimed. "You're the only Ancient Dragon in the world."
"But that means that daddy isn't my real father and mommy isn't my real mother." Val said forlornly.
"Real?" Zelas repeated. "Have Xellos and Filia ever explained to you how you were born?"
Val shook his head. "They said it was complicated, and they would explain it when I was more grown up."
"Well, I can explain it to you now." Zelas said cheerfully. "It began when they were fighting Darkstar, who was the worst monster this world has ever faced."
"Mommy says Shabranigdo was just as bad," Val objected.
"Well, Shabranigdo created me, so he couldn't have been all bad." Zelas demurred. "Anyway, at that time there was a Mazoku-dragon hybrid named Valgaav."
"Mommy doesn't want to hear that name." Val said reflexively. Then something occurred to him. "Didn't you say my sister will be the first Mazoku-dragon hybrid?"
"The first one hatched." Zelas reminded him. "But Valgaav had been created by hate and death-magic, so he was kind of crazy. He actually merged himself into Darkstar. To destroy Darkstar, your auntie Lina and the rest needed to combine black magic and holy magic. Xellos summoned the black magic and Filia summoned the holy magic. But by that point, Filia had used up all her own power. It would probably have killed her to channel that much magic. So Xellos gave her some of his own power through the link that joined the magics together. He says doing that at the same time he was summoning the black magic was the hardest thing he's ever done. And your uncle Gourry says he's never seen Xellos' face look so strained."
"You've met uncle Gourry?" Val interrupted.
"I disguised myself as a barmaid to see if the Sword of Light was really gone." Zelas explained. "My, he can eat, though! It wasn't easy getting him to stop shoveling in the food so he could talk. Anyway, from that time on there is a bit of Xellos' power in Filia. That's why her positive emotions can no longer hurt him."
"So it's like she has a part of daddy inside her?" Val said.
"Yes. And wasn't she angry when she first found out!" Zelas paused as though remembering a favorite meal. "But eventually, she accepted it. It very likely saved her life, after all. And I think it helped you to be born."
"Me?"
"Filia felt very bad because the Golden Dragons had killed all the Ancient Dragons except for Valgaav. He was the last, and now Filia was helping to destroy him also. And she wished that it didn't have to be that way, that Valgaav had somehow had a happy life, and never had to become half Mazoku, and try to kill your auntie Lina, and finally to try to kill everybody. "
"He tried to kill auntie Lina?" Val's eyes widened again. "I mean, I know she makes me nervous, but why would he want to kill her?"
"He blamed her for destroying Gaav. Although it was actually Phibrizzo who did that." Zelas explained.
"That's how he was kind of crazy, huh?" Val asked.
"That and the part about destroying the world." Zelas confirmed. "Anyway, Xellos sensed Filia's feelings, and he started to feel the same way. He had learned some respect for Valgaav after fighting him. And then somehow—nobody's quite figured out how--after Valgaav and Darkstar were destroyed, your egg magically appeared."
"I just appeared out of nowhere?" Val looked dazed.
"Not nowhere." Zelas said. "Only the Lord of Nightmares can truly create things out of nothing. I think you were created when the fused magic, guided by Xellos and Filia's wishes, blasted away all of Darkstar and the Mazoku part of Valgaav. So in a very real way, Xellos and Filia are your father and mother. They are the ones who started you. And the proof is that your happy feelings don't hurt Xellos. That means he has a connection to you."
"Oh!" Val looked delighted, then thought a moment. "Wait. Since you're daddy's mommy, does that means you aren't hurt by my happy feelings either?"
"That's right!" Zelas beamed. "And also, I can't feed on your sad feelings very well."
"Aren't you unhappy about that?" Val didn't understand why Zelas was smiling.
"Not at all," Zelas answered. "That's not what I came here for."
"But what did you come here for?"
"To do what grandmas always do. Spoil their grandchildren . . . " Zelas held out the box of chocolates again. She looked down through an opening in the leaves, to observe a panicked Filia running along the forest path, looking vainly for Val. " . . . and drive their daughters-in-law crazy."
T h e E n d
Author's eggheaded lecture: The word "Machiavellian" is commonly used to describe purely evil plans. However, most historians believe that Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527) did not dispense entirely with morality, but was more of a realist. He did, after all, live in the time of the Medicis and the Borgias, an era where if a ruler refused to use force, he would very likely lose his throne (and his head) to someone who had no such reluctance. Machiavelli advised the ruler that he could best preserve his power by the judicious use of violence, but also by respecting private property and the traditions of his subjects, and by promoting material prosperity. A good biography of Machiavelli can be found on Wikipedia at en./wiki/Machiavelli
Although some may argue that Beastmaster is OOC in this story, my concept of her is Machiavellian in the more accurate sense: far more concerned with maintaining the power she has than expanding her dominion. She does not practice cruelty for cruelty's sake, but she does have a sense of mischief. In other words, Xellos' sour apple has not rolled far from the tree.