All right, this was originally brought to me by Kauriryu. It's evolved since then since many of you have noted that a certain character needs some… attention. So, here we go. Riku-rocks has helped greatly putting this together. This will only be two parts!

Reviews are adored. Still working on ownership…….

Operation: Setting Up Sephiroth

Part 1: The Set-Up

Riku slid onto the bench opposite Zack Fair. "Hey, Zack; Cloud said you were looking for me."

"Yep," The raven-haired man threw back the rest of his whiskey. "I've got a proposition for you."

A silver-eyebrow rose in amusement. "I thought we're been over this before. I'm all for it but Cloud simply isn't one to share."

"I'll get you away from Spiky one of these days." Zack winked flirtatiously at the seventeen-year-old. He quickly sobered up. "But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

Riku frowned; "All right."

Wrapping both hands around his empty glass, Zack pursed his lips for a moment. With a quick breath, he grinned at the teen. "It's about your brother."

"Sephiroth?" Riku angled his head in confusion. "What about him?"

"I wanna get him laid."

Riku stared blankly at the older man for a long time. He did not seriously just say… Barking out a single laugh, Riku gave him a look. The man was completely serious.

Once certain that Riku was listening, Zack continued. "Well, I guess not just that, though getting him laid is the foremost important thing because he fucking needs it, pun intended. I just think he needs some… companionship."

"I'm going to need a drink for this conversation."

"On it;" Zack got up, taking his glass with him. He returned a few minutes later and placed a rum and coke before him as he slid back into his seat. He had gotten himself a beer.

Riku bit his lip and gave Zack an odd look. "All right, now that I'm over the shock, believe it or not, I agree. My brother has never said anything but there are times I get the feeling that he's… jealous isn't quite the right word but it's like it almost hurts him to see me and Cloud, or even you and Aerith, together."

"I noticed that." Zack nodded. "Even before the whole mother thing, at odd times he would ask about my dates and how was it that I never seemed to have trouble picking up women or men. I offered a few times to hook him up with some people I thought he'd get on with, but he always waved me off stating that he had no interest in romance or sex."

"That's the impression I've always gotten from him." Riku agreed, picking up his glass. "However I also know it's a front. Sephiroth craves connection. He wants to have people close to him. It's one of the ways Jenova was able to manipulate him."

"I kinda figured that. Even if he truly is fucking asexual, which I don't believe for a minute, he at least needs someone to care for." The raven-haired man leaned back into the corner of the bench. "What we need to do is get the ball rolling, figure out who would be compatible with him and then just kinda push them together."

Riku almost spat out his drink. "Push them together?"

"I don't mean literally," laughed Zack with a smirk. "Even I'm not that kinky."

The teen rubbed at his forehead. "I do not get how you and Aerith stay together."

Zack chuckled lowly, a lecherous grin coming to his features. "Do you really want to know?"

"No," Riku held up a hand. "Cloud told me enough about you and I really don't want to lose my sweet, good-girl image of Aerith."

"Ah, she's my angel." Zack grinned. "…And now that one best friend has found his soul mate, it's time to work on the other best friend."

Fingers threaded through silver hair. Riku then folded his hands on the table. "Well, the first thing we have to figure out is if Sephiroth is straight or not. Then again maybe he's into both."

"Let's do this, we'll come up with a list of candidates, female and male, and we'll just go from there." Zack suggested, finishing off his beer. "Honestly, this is the part that's going to kill us. I'm fairly certain that once we get the date set up, he'll do it if we ask him really nicely."

"I don't know about that but at least at that point, it will be a simple yes or no. If he isn't going to do it, it will be a flat out no." Riku countered. "But regardless, yeah, finding suitable love interests is going to be a challenge."

"Hey, Faye," Zack called across the bar. "Can you bring us another round and a pen and some paper?"

He turned his attention back toward Riku. "Okay, who do we know that's available that we know Seph can stand to be around for more than ten minutes?"

Riku blew out a breath, long bangs fluttering up. "Ah, let's see…" He frowned. "This is going to be harder than I thought."

"What is?" Faye asked, balancing a glass and bottle in one hand and a notebook in the other. She tossed the pad of paper in front of Zack and then placed the drinks down.

"We're trying to get Sephiroth a date." Zack answered, pulling the pen out of the metal binding as he flipped open the notebook.

The dark-haired woman laughed. "You serious…? Like a date, date or are you just trying to get him laid?"

Zack angled his head in mock seriousness. "There's a difference?"

"Yeah, if all you want is to set him up for a fuck, I'd say sign me up." Faye bit her lip, grinning. "I totally wouldn't mind a piece of that man."

"Ugh, stop talking about my brother like he's a piece of meat or something." Riku scrunched up his face.

"Hey, you're the one making a list of potential bed-mates, kid." The skimpily clad woman winked at him.

"…And you don't think I'm already weirded out by that?"

Zack divided the notebook page into four sections. "So, do you want us to put you down as candidate?"

"Sure," Faye flicked some short hair back. "I'd be willing to go out with him once. Let me know."

Zack nodded as he wrote her name in one of the bottom squares. She gave a little wave as she moved away and returned to behind the bar. He looked up and grinned at Riku. "Okay, here's the break down: Top two squares are women or men that we think Seph could actually form a lasting relationship with. The bottom two are the short term slash quick fucks group."

Riku blew out a breath and took a long drink. He really could not believe they were doing this. "All right, well, Sephiroth has been down here helping out a few times. Who have we seen him work with that he seemed to get along with?"

Zack pursed his lips in thought. He had not seen the former general really interact with anyone outside of the immediate group. For the most part, he seemed to keep to himself, only interacting when necessary.

"Hey, write down Lulu in the top box." Riku tapped the paper. "I've seen him talking to her a few times."

"The bondage chick?" asked Zack as he angled his head, "With all the leather straps and the stuffed Moogle?" He snorted. "Yeah, I could see Seph being into that."

"She's also a very strong personality and extremely intelligent," Riku added. "From the little I've heard about her, she would probably understand Seph rather well."

"Okay," The First Class jotted down the name. "What about that new woman? The one with the rabbit ears… She seemed to take a liking to him and he hasn't totally brushed her off yet."

Riku had to think about whom Zack was talking about for a moment, "Oh, Fran? She came with Penelo and Ash?"

"Yes."

The silvered teen nodded. "That could work. Penelo commented the other day that Fran had asked about Sephiroth."

"How are things going with Sora and Penelo?" Violet-hued eyes flicked over as Zack penciled the name.

"So far, so good;" Riku shrugged. "Sora's been really happy."

"Good, that guy he was seeing before was…"

"A complete ass...?" Riku glared at the table. "I don't know what Sora was thinking dating that guy. I still wish I had kicked his ass."

Zack chuckled, tapping the end of the pen on the table. "Leon covered that pretty well for you. He is damn protective of that kid."

"Yeah;" Riku rested his head on an upraised fist. "Let's see… every other woman I've seen Sephiroth with is already with someone. He's spoken about Kitana a few times but it's pretty obvious she's still got a thing for her ex."

"Figures," Zack grumbled. "Alright, let's just move on to guys. That should be easier."

Riku snorted. "In case you haven't noticed, Zack, there really aren't all that many gay men around here and the ones that are here are all in committed relationships."

Zack dropped the pen and pressed the back of his head to the booth wall behind it. "Ugh. This really should not be that difficult! I just want to get my best friend out among people and, with a little luck, laid."

"I came over at the wrong moment." Tifa grinned with a confused look to her eyes. "What are you two doing?"

"Zack is trying to find Sephiroth a date," answered Riku in an almost bored tone.

"Seriously?" The dark-haired woman seemed highly amused by this. "Does Reno know?"

"Reno?"

Zack laughed and lifted his head. He retook the pen and began adding the Turk's name to the casual fuck list. "He always said Seph was the only man he'd go queer for."

"Until he saw Riku," Tifa added, throwing a quick smile at the aforementioned teen. "I swear Cloud was going to kill him the night you met Reno."

Riku shook his head. "I thought Demyx was going to go after me and believe me, I would have gotten hurt if he had. He is so hung up on Reno, it's almost painful."

"…And Reno's just as bad but he refuses to see it," Tifa noted. "I'm starting to think we need to lock them up in a room for a day. Maybe if we can actually get Sephiroth to go out with him once, it would kick start those two."

"That could happen," Zack agreed. "There's nothing like the possibility of losing the object of your affection to motivate you."

Tifa glanced over the list. "I knew Faye would get herself on there. She seriously wants to jump him."

"I noticed;" Riku said dryly. "This whole thing is still freaking me out."

Tifa patted his shoulder. "I think it's very sweet you're doing this for your brother. If I think of anyone, I'll let you know."

She left them and Zack was immediately back on task. "Okay, now, we need at least two guys who might be interested in dating a gorgeous man with a minor Oedipus complex."

"Ugh, don't say it like that!" Riku's face twisted in disgust. "He's not in love with Mother!"

"How about that Gwendal guy...?" The First Class continued, ignoring the teen's comment. "They have a lot in common. Both are rather militarily minded, have dry senses of humor, and are fiercely loyal to those few they care about."

"They both knit," Riku muttered.

"Oh, well that seals the deal!" Zack exclaimed animatedly, jotting the man's name down. "All right, one down. We just need one more…"

Suddenly Zack grinned and Riku just knew he was not going to like what was about to come out of the man's mouth. "What about Leon?"

Riku stared at him.

"I'm totally serious!" The older man slapped his hands on the table. "They get along abnormally well; even Zell noted that Leon talks to Seph more than he does most other people."

Riku rubbed at his forehead. "Okay, one major problem with that: Leon's straight."

"So he says but I've seen how he looks at you and I've caught him eying Seph before."

"You have?"

"Yeah," Zack wrote the man's name down. "He can be converted, I know it."

Riku was highly skeptical, but decided it was not worth the effort to argue about it. He was still doubtful that they were going to be able to convince Sephiroth to go along with this insane idea. They would be lucky if he did not try to strike them both down for trying.

The silvered teen leaned back against the bench and folded his arms, "So, now what?"

"Uh, well," Zack pursed his lips a moment. Then he got to his feet and moved out of the secluded booth. "We go find the people on our list and see who's receptive to the plan."

Riku shrugged and downed the rest of his drink. He got up and followed Zack to the door. This would at least prove to be entertaining.