Everything or nothing at all - Revised Version
Disclaimer: This story was written solely for the enjoyment of other Zorro fans and is not intended to infringe on any copyrights held by Goodman/Rosen Productions, New World Television, Zorro Productions, the estate of Johnston McCulley or anyone else.
Chapter 1
"Lancers!" The alcalde shouted, but they didn't come. They had already been disarmed by Zorro and it turned out to be the same duel between him and his archenemy Zorro.
Zorro reached for his sword when he suddenly his hand started to shake making it impossible for him to close his grip. Folding his hands across his chest to hide them, he approached the alcalde unarmed.
"Looking for your lancers, alcalde?" Zorro teased him. "I'm afraid they are unable to assist you. Do you really want to fight me again? Why don't you just rescind the taxes and save us the effort?"
"Never! I'll never give up this easily," the alcalde retorted with his sword in hand.
Fortunately for Zorro the short wordplay had been long enough and his hands no longer shook. He grabbed his sword and saluted as usual. "As you wish, alcalde." Afraid the shaking spell might return, Zorro used his skill to disarm the alcalde as fast as he could, without playing with him first.
After he had decorated the alcalde's vest with his Z and made him rescind the tax, he turned to Victoria to kiss her hand. "Beautiful as ever," he complimented her and was rewarded by her smile.
Quickly he mounted Toronado and rode home to the cave.
After he had returned and changed, Diego examined his hand, flexing and stretching his fingers, but everything was fine again. He couldn't explain what had happened and he decided that it must have been just a cramp in his hand.
Some days later he was reading a book in the library when his hands began to shake again and he felt dizzy. In his surprise he let the book fall down to floor. The noise made Felipe come looking. "Everything is fine Felipe, it's just a book that fell down."
The next time it happened he was writing something at the desk in his cave and the quill in his shaking hand made lines all over the paper because he couldn't control it. In his effort to put the quill back to its holder he additionally knocked over the ink pot, spilling the ink all over his desk. Utterly frustrated, he shoved everything down to the floor.
Felipe who had heard the noise in the library found him bent forward with his head on his desk while he waited for the shaking and the dizziness to pass.
Looking at the mess all around him, Felipe shook his arm confused, asking what had happened.
"Everything is fine, Felipe. I was just writing a letter when my hands started shaking again." Diego explained. "I'm sorry for the mess."
Felipe looked at him alarmed. 'Your hands were shaking? Again? What do you mean with again? It has happened before?'
"I'm sorry, Felipe, I didn't want to upset you." Diego cursed himself for his slip of tongue.
'Have you been to a doctor?'
"No, I haven't consulted one. I read my books, but I didn't find anything."
'You should talk to Dr. Hernandez, promise.'
"I will go to a doctor, but not to Dr. Hernandez. I can't let him examine me, because he might find out that I'm Zorro and I can't risk that."
'Who else?'
"I'll go to Dr. Fernandez in San Pedro where I'm less known than here in Los Angeles. I heard that he is quite able in his job and he has a broad knowledge about the strangest illnesses since he has to deal regularly with foreigners who arrive in the port of San Pedro."
'Tomorrow! Promise!'
"Yes, Felipe, I promise. And now we should take care of that mess."
While Felipe got a broom, Diego picked up the items from his desk that he had swept down in his frustration.
Z Z Z
The doctor in San Pedro Diego consulted the next day proved as capable as his reputation promised. He examined Diego thoroughly, asking him about previous injuries and illnesses, but still he was at loss with the symptoms. There were several illnesses that fit to one symptom or the other both nothing match them all. Dr. Fernandez asked Diego to return again while he tried to figure out his illness.
At his next visit a week later the doctor went through his medical history again. "Is there something you have forgotten to tell me, Señor?" Dr. Fernandez asked. "I couldn't match an illness to your symptoms. To me it looks as if you have been poisoned."
Surprised, Diego looked at him. "I have been poisoned, but that was three years ago. I took the antidote in time."
"You must know that some poisons have lingering effects that manifest only much later after the actual poisoning."
Together with the doctor Diego went through everything that happened when he was poisoned by Palomarez without revealing his role as Zorro. The poison, the time it took to show its effects, the symptoms he suffered from and the time that passed until he took the antidote.
"Señor, it seems like your case is very complicated. I'm not an expert on these poisons from the Amazonian jungle. I will need to consult with some of my colleagues. Unfortunately, this will take time that you may not have to lose, but it is all I can do for you. If I'm right with my assumption, your shaking spells and dizziness will increase and you may suffer from blindness too. I strongly recommend you to refrain from any dangerous activities. Any information about the poison you have would be useful. If you manage to extract the ingredients in you laboratory, then it would be a great help."
"Anything else I can do?" Diego was shocked. He had thought to have successfully cured the poisoning after he drank the antidote.
"I'd look for the antidote, it may help you with your spells and some of the symptoms. I'll get back to you as soon as I have new information to you." Dr. Fernandez shook his hand and guided him out the room, not hiding his concern for his patient.
On the ride back from San Pedro Diego was in a thoughtful mood. How could he continue as Zorro if he could be surprised by spells at any time? He needed to lay low until the doctor found a cure for his problems. Hopefully, the alcalde would behave in the near future and he had to leave the patrolling of the area for bandits to Mendoza and his soldiers.
Most important now was to find out everything about the poison and extract the antidote from the cactus flower.
The next days Diego was busy in his laboratory, trying to analyze the poison from the sample he had gotten from Palomarez. In addition, he rode out in search for the rare cactus flower that contained the antidote.
Z Z Z
On one of his following visits a few weeks later, the doctor could finally give him a diagnosis.
On his ride home he was so shocked that he could hardly concentrate. After he had taken his horse to the stables he headed straight for the cave where Felipe found him later.
Diego knew he could no longer keep the truth from Felipe. Quietly, he informed him about the doctor's diagnosis.
"Felipe, I'll have to leave tomorrow with the coach to Mexico, but I'll be back as soon as I can."
Diego patted him on the shoulder, but Felipe looked at him accusingly. 'You lied, you lied to me. You told me that I wasn't so bad. How can I believe you now?'
"Felipe, I'm sorry, but I didn't want you to worry."
'You will leave me, just like my parents left me.' Felipe crouched down at the floor burying his head on his knees. Sitting down next to him on the floor, Diego took him in his arms as he had done so often when Felipe had been a child.
"Felipe, no more lies." Felipe looked at Diego expectantly through his tears. "If I promised you that everything will be fine, it'd be a lie. But I can promise you one thing, I'll do my best." Diego tried to cheer him up.
Felipe grabbed Diego at his arms. 'I want to come with you!'
"Felipe, you can't."
'Why not? I can help you and take care of you as I did when Zorro was injured!'
"I will be cared for in Mexico and I need you here. You're the only one Toronado lets approach besides me and someone has to take care of everything here. Do you want Toronado to suffer?"
Felipe shook his head. "And I need you for something else."
'For what?'
"If Zorro disappears at the same time as I, then the alcalde may draw the right conclusion that I'm Zorro. I don't know what he will do to my father or Victoria if he finds out and I'm no longer there to protect them."
'What do you want me to do?'
"I want you to ride out on Toronado in Zorro's clothing, so that the soldiers will see you in the distance."
'I can fight the soldiers, I'm better with the sword than any of them.' Felipe made some quick movements with an imaginary sword, demonstrating his skill.
Diego smiled. "I know you could beat any of them in a sword fight, but it takes more practice to beat them all at once and you're not ready for that yet. Promise me, you won't engage them in a fight or come close enough for them to notice the difference between us." Felipe seemed a bit reluctant, but finally he nodded. 'I promise.'
Diego rose from the cold floor and extended his hand to Felipe, helping him up and hugging him. "I love you, son."
Back in the library Diego went to the parlor in search for his father to talk to him.
Alejandro had just come home from the pueblo and was in a bad mood. "Ah, Diego, there you are. Last week there was an attack on a coach coming from Monterey and two passengers were killed and robbed. It took the lancers until today to find the culprits and bring them to justice when I would have taken Zorro only a day to achieve that feat. That can't go on. Zorro seemingly doesn't care anymore and the lancers are hopelessly incompetent. Tonight is a meeting of the caballeros at Don Emilio's hacienda and I want you to accompany me."
"I think it's a good idea for the caballeros to take some action. They can't always rely on Zorro." Diego agreed with his father.
"Then you will come with me to the meeting?" Alejandro looked at him expectantly.
"I'm sorry, Father, but I'm going to Mexico for some time and I have much to prepare."
"You are going to Mexico, Diego? Do you think this is the right time?"
"Father, please," Diego tried to interrupt his father, but there was no stopping him, once he got in rage.
"Don't you father me, Diego," Alejandro wasn't in the mood to listen to his son. "You are needed here in Los Angeles. This is not the time to travel for whatever reason you have. Zorro hasn't come to the pueblo for weeks and it's time for you to take over some of the responsibility. Stop hiding behind your pointless experiments and finally do something. You need to come along to the meeting tonight."
Diego had wanted to talk and in his shocked state he couldn't stand his father's accusations anymore. "I told you before that I don't have the time and I'm sorry that you see me as a disappointment, but maybe you should take a final look at me. I am leaving tomorrow and I don't know if I'll be back. Stop thinking that Zorro can solve all your problems for you. All you have done the recent years was to protest and hope that Zorro would save the day for you. And now that he is no longer doing his job as you name it, you blame it on him. It's time for the caballeros to stand up for their own and for the lancers to finally the do their job to keep the area secure. For once start thinking before you act."
Angry and frustrated, Diego returned to the library where he quietly slipped into the cave. This wasn't the way he had imagined his last evening at home. He had wanted to tell his father everything, but instead it had ended in one of these arguments that they'd had so often in the recent years, with Alejandro showing his disappointment in his son all too clear. Diego wanted to be accepted as himself or the man he pretended to be while he was unable to reveal his secret.
If only his father would listen to him once. Frustrated, Diego paced the cave stopping from time to time to look at one item or another on the selves, deciding if he would need it in Mexico. He knew he should start packing now and prepare everything for his absence, but his feelings were too mixed up to find the patience for it.
There was one more thing he needed to do, the one thing he dreaded the most. He had to talk to Victoria before he left.
A/N: I had the first chapters of this revised version posted on my homepage and when I reread it yesterday, I decided to post it in parts on ff too. The story was one of my first and I no longer like how I wrote it. The new version is about twice as long with additional chapters and a few changes concerning Alejandro. I hope you'll like iteven if it's not new.