Something I came up with while I was patiently waiting to see if I was going to be chosen for jury -
"How embarrassing!" Sheldon fumed as he stood in line waiting to go through the security checkpoint. "Actually, this is downright humiliating. Do these people even know what they're doing and who they are doing it to?"
Doomsday (as Sheldon preferred to think of it) had started out as a disaster as he faced the fact that he wouldn't be going into the lab today. Leonard had tried to lift his spirits with various comments about how this was one of the most basic rights and privileges of living in a democratic society. And then Penny, who had been delegated to drive him to the courthouse, had dropped him off with a cherry "Look upon this as a new experience. You might even learn something."
"As if there was anything I could learn from this group of civil servants!" Sheldon thought as he took off his shoes so they could be put through the metal detector along with his book bag which contained, in addition to several books, his 'bus pants' for his trip home. Idly, he noticed that a pair of red Converse tennis shoes was also being placed on the conveyor belt.
Even his most stalwart supporter, Amy, had refused to come with him.
"Sheldon," she had told him in her most reasonable tone of voice. "First off, I don't think you are allowed to bring a 'Plus One' with you to jury duty. Besides, what would I do there all day? My time is much better spent in the lab."
"What's your juror number?" a woman wearing a constable's uniform asked him as he stood on the other side of the metal detector looking around.
"My juror number?" Sheldon questioned.
"It's in the upper right-hand corner of your jury summons," the woman replied. "Once you have it, you will know which jury assembly room to report to."
"I have reported for jury duty as required by law," Sheldon told her haughtily. "Now, can't I just go home?"
"Sorry," the woman told him. "That's not the way it works. You need to report to your designated jury assembly room and check in there."
"You're telling me that I am merely number 3085-1 for the day?" Sheldon asked, reading the number off his jury summons. "That's not even a particularly pleasant number."
"You have an objectionable juror number, Dr. Cooper?" a familiar voice asked from behind him. "Why don't you utilize your background in advanced mathematics to manipulate it into something you find to be more palatable?"
"Dr. Reid?" Sheldon recognized the voice even before he turned around. "What are you doing here?"
"I suspect the same as you, reporting for jury duty," Spencer Reid responded. "Fulfilling my civic responsibility. And my number for the day is 3141-5."
"Pi?" Sheldon squeaked. "You get to be Pi and I am stuck with – "
"Gentlemen, please move into your designated jury assembly room," the constable interrupted them. "And, after you have checked in with the clerk, you can finish your discussion in there."
"You do know that jury service is an extremely important responsibility," Reid began as the two scientists walked into the designated room. "The United States Constitution guarantees all people, regardless of race, religion, gender, national origin or economic status, the right to trial by an impartial jury."
"An impartial jury of their peers," Sheldon retorted as they handed their completed surveys to the clerk sitting behind the desk. "And, as you know, I am one of a kind. Therefore, I am peerless. So, summoning me down here is a waste of time."
"By the way," he added. "What are you doing in Pasadena – Let alone being called for jury duty here?"
"It's my own fault," Reid admitted. "I knew I was going to be spending a lot of time out here consulting with the Los Angeles FBI office as well as with some of the professors at CalTech. So, when my driver's license came up for renewal, I just renewed it in California using the address of the apartment I have been renting out here. Apparently, that is how I ended up on the list of potential jurors."
"However," he added. "I strongly suspect that once the lawyers realize that I am an FBI agent I will be quickly dismissed."
"One of the few advantages to being a government employee," Sheldon observed snidely as the two men settled into seats to wait.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
"We need an unusually large group of potential jurors for this next panel," the clerk announced an hour later. "I need all jurors, numbers 3000 thru 3150, to exit the door to my left and go with the bailiff. He will be escorting you to the courtroom."
"Excuse me," Sheldon spoke up. "Do you know who I am?"
"No," was the blunt reply. "However, I do know that if your juror number falls between 3000 and 3150 you need to follow the bailiff down the hall. And I would suggest that you do so now." The clerk went back to studying the computer screen located on her desk.
"Really," Sheldon huffed before scurrying out of the room.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
The bailiff led the group of potential jurors down several hallways and up a set of stairs before coming to a stop in front of the door to a courtroom.
"Now, I need all of you to line-up against the wall in the order of your juror numbers," he told the group. "Then I will go down the line and verify that everyone is present. After that, I will be taking you into the courtroom and you will need to remain in order as you take your seats."
As the potential jurors began sorting themselves out, Sheldon walked over to speak with the bailiff.
"Excuse me," he began. "But, seeing as how I will undoubtedly be excused from jury duty, is it okay if I leave now?
"That would put you in contempt of court," the bailiff automatically replied, without looking up from the list of names he was examining. "And there would be a warrant issued for your arrest."
Well, I am contemptuous of this court," Sheldon told him. "You are taking me away from some very important research."
"You will have the opportunity to tell the judge all about it once we get into the courtroom," the bailiff replied. "Now, will you please take your place in line? I need to begin checking names."
"I don't see why I should," Sheldon complained.
"Do you want to go to jail, Dr. Cooper?" Reid called out from his place in line. "Why don't you just get in line and wait to tell the judge all about it?"
"You do know that that man is an FBI agent, don't you?" Sheldon asked, pointing at Reid.
"That doesn't matter to me," was the reply. "All I care about is that he is in line in the proper order. Any issues with his employment can be taken up with the judge."
"And now I am going to begin taking roll call, so I suggest you get in line."
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
"Good Morning Everyone!" A judge, dressed in her black robes, walked into the courtroom. "I am Judge Madeline Schuster and this is my courtroom. What I say goes in here – Understood?" She glared at the potential jurors seated on the benches. "Please note that Bailiff James is standing next to you. If you have any questions or concerns, address them with him and he will decide whether or not they need to be brought to my attention."
"As the case in front of us is an unusually complex one that is expected to take several weeks," she continued. "Everyone here is going to be asked to fill out a second, more extensive questionnaire that Bailiff James will be handing out to you. Please fill it out as completely as possible. He will then collect them and they will be given to the lawyers for each side for their initial screening. Thank You."
With that, the judge swept out of the courtroom and Bailiff James began handing out a two page questionnaire to each person.
"Please make sure that you put your juror number on the top of each page," he instructed. "Not your name."
"No thanks," Sheldon said when the bailiff offered him a pen. "I have my own. Heaven only knows who used that one last and what kind of germs are on it."
"I wonder what kind of case this is," the man sitting on Sheldon's right spoke aloud. "I can't think of anything that has happened in the area recently that would require this elaborate of a lawsuit."
"What about that explosion at the Jet Propulsion Lab?" the woman sitting in front of Sheldon turned around to comment. "I am sure there are some pretty big lawsuits coming out of that. And that did happen about 18 months ago."
"That would explain the need for such a large pool of potential jurors," the man sitting to Sheldon's left said. "It's probably going to be hard to find twelve people who don't have some personal connection to that explosion."
"The Jet Propulsion Lab explosion?" Sheldon said. "Personally, I have always thought that the North Koreans were involved with that."
"A conspiracy theorist," the man on Sheldon's left observed with a smile. "I really think you might be right."
"Why the North Koreans?' the man on his right asked, looking at Sheldon. "Do you know something?"
"Maybe – Maybe not," Sheldon replied evasively, remembering Leonard's encounter with Joyce Kim.
"An explosion in a laboratory dealing with the development of jet fuel could be caused by any one of a number of factors," Reid's voice came from behind the group. "Even you should know that, Dr. Cooper."
"However," he continued. "I would be interested in hearing what the investigators uncovered when they examined the scene and also what their initial analysis of the materials at the site revealed."
"Everyone hurry up and finish your questionnaire," the bailiff announced. "I will be collecting them in a couple of minutes."
"Let me see," Sheldon poised his pen over his papers. "What can I put down here that will make me look like a good candidate for a juror for this trial?"
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~
"Thank you everyone for your patience." It was after lunch and the judge had returned to the courtroom. "While you were all at lunch the lawyers from both sides of this case had a chance to review the questionnaires you completed and have compiled a list of jurors they would like to question further. However, there are several jurors that I would like to speak with first, beginning with Juror Number 3023. Will you please stand up?"
A clean-cut, middle aged man in a white shirt and tie sitting in the front row rose to his feet. "That is me," he stated.
"You are a retired police officer?" the judge asked.
"That is correct – A medical retirement," the man replied.
"And, records show that you have previously testified before the prosecuting attorney in this case, Mr. James Montgomery," the judge continued.
"I believe that is correct," the retired officer confirmed.
"In that case, you are excused from jury duty," the judge concluded. "And, you may leave the courtroom."
"Thank you, Your Honor," was the response as the man made his way out of the room.
"Lucky Guy!" the woman sitting in front of Sheldon sighed.
"Next, Juror Number 3078," the judge said. "If you will please stand and identify yourself."
"Yes, Ma'am," a harried-looking young woman stood up.
"Just to verify," the judge said. "You have two young children at home?"
"Yes, Ma'am," was the reply. "And the youngest is a special needs child. My mother-in-law can take care of her for a day or so at a time, but anything more than that and I really need to be there."
"Thank you," the judge replied. "You are excused and you may leave."
"Thank You!" the woman said gratefully as she made her way towards the door.
"Juror Number 3141," was the judge's next request. "Please stand and identify yourself."
"That is I," Reid replied as he stood up.
"You work for the FBI?" the judge questioned.
"Yes, Your Honor, I am assigned to the Behavior Analysis Unit," Reid enunciated.
"You're Dr. Spencer Reid," the judge recognized him. "I saw you give testimony in the Midnight Stalker case last year. Actually, I made it a point to drop in on that case from time to time to see how it was being handled."
"I did give testimony," Reid verified. "And, when I was done, the guilty party did go to jail."
"Well, that is enough to get you excused from jury duty on this case," the judge declared. "You may leave."
"Thank you," Reid told her as he began making his way between the other jurors, heading towards the door.
"Too bad, Dr. Reid," Sheldon stage whispered as he went by. "I'll let you know what caused the explosion in the lab – Assuming it's not too complicated for a government employee to understand."
"Don't bother," Reid replied. "I can easily get hold of the transcripts of the case."
After he had walked out the courtroom door, Reid stopped and turned to read the plaque next to the door which held information on the judge currently assigned to the room. His eyes widened as he read 'Judge Madeline Schuster – Probate Court #2.'
He chuckled as he thought of Sheldon's reaction if and when he realized that he was contending for a spot on a jury that would be deciding who was in line to inherit Great Uncle Jakes' old furniture.
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