Title: O Come, O Come Lisbon
Summary: Now she'd have to make it up to him, and she doubted buying him a hippopotamus would fix anything. J/L-ish. 1st in the Christmas Lights series.
Disclaimer: It's really not mine, and I don't own any of the Christmas songs in this fic—"Caroling, Caroling", "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas", "Last Christmas" or even the song the fic title was inspired by, "O Come, O Come Emmanuel".
A/N:
I firstly want to thank my wonderful beta, watchyouwalk, who was able to come join me for this one-shot fun party and I also want to dedicate this piece (and the next few "sequels" of this, as this is only the first piece in the Christmas Lights series) to Frogster, who has been such a huge help to me over the past few months!
As for my other pieces, I haven't forgotten about them and I do believe an update is scheduled in the next few weeks—but lets see if I'm still alive after my college exams…okay?
"'Tis the season to be jolly, Lisbon!" Jane greeted as he rested on the brown leather couch of his; brown reindeer antlers atop the blonde curls on his head, the brightly colored red and green bells following his every movement. Lisbon merely raised her dark eyebrow before she glanced at the smiling Van Pelt, who wore her own Santa hat.
"Take that thing off your head," Lisbon chided, and Van Pelt turned an interesting shade of pink as she quickly removed the hat from her head and stuffed it in one of her desk drawers. Jane only grinned, and Lisbon threw him a dark glare. "Is it now? I must not have received the memo." He only chuckled at her response to his earlier statement, his head bobbing to respond with the soft sound of twinkling bells following him. "Jackass is an extremely good look on you though." She added with a smirk, to which his grin turned into a pout as he moved to remove the antlers from atop his head, his eyes focused on Lisbon the entire time.
"I only wanted to spread a little holiday joy, Lisbon. Is there any rule against that?"
"We work in a homicide unit, Jane." Lisbon gave firmly. "If you want to spread holiday joy, go become a mall Santa or something like that."
No sooner than the words had slipped out of her mouth did she regret them. Jane had already shot off his couch; brown antlers decorated with bells forgotten on the couch as he grinned like the cat that had gotten the canary.
"Where do you do think you're going?" Lisbon asked Jane, who stood outside the bullpen in the somewhat busy hallway of the CBI. He glanced over his shoulder and grinned, his green-blue eyes sparkling madly.
"Why, Lisbon, I'm going to go do what you suggested—spread holiday joy."
He hurried down the hall, ignoring the various threats and calls of his name, all while he caroled the chorus of some Christmas song down the hallway to the mixed amusement of some of the passersby. It was some song that Lisbon couldn't quite recall from memory, but from Van Pelt's humored glances and whispered humming under her breath, it was easy to tell that she did know exactly what song he was singing.
"Joyous voices sweet and clear
sing the sad of heart to cheer
Ding dong, ding dong
Christmas bells are ringing!"
She only rolled her eyes in response and turned to glance at Van Pelt, who merely smiled as she turned back to her computer to await her boss' instruction for the day ahead.
O.O
"Where have you been?" Lisbon questioned Jane, as he stepped into her office—a huge smile on his face, as were a different pair of green and red reindeer with white faux fur antlers atop his head. "I tried calling you, but your phone was off." Jane nodded and moved to collapse on her vibrant red couch as she continued to respond to emails.
"I know." He responded brightly. "I was at the mall." Lisbon paused in her furious attack of the keyboard to glance up at him and raise her eyebrow again. "I took your advice and went to spread holiday joy."
"You can't be serious." Lisbon sputtered. "I was only kidding!" Jane remained silent for a moment more or so, before he broke out in a chuckle.
"I really did try and spread holiday joy, but I was informed by mall security that I looked nothing like their mall Santa." Lisbon shook her head in response, and Jane continued to muse out loud. "Or their elves for that matter…"
"How much paperwork will I have to fill out this time?" She asked dryly, and he only moved to shake his head.
"Absolutely none."
"None?" She questioned, suspicion lacing her tone, and he nodded.
"Absolutely none, Lisbon. Consider it my first early Christmas gift to you," Jane informed her.
"Thank you, I…wait…first early Christmas gift? How many gifts do you plan on gifting me with this year?"
"Well, it all really depends on whether you've been naughty or nice this year." Jane explained to her, with all the smug innocence in the world. "…and of course, if you've already bought my gift or not…" Lisbon merely glanced at her computer, and the furious typing resumed.
"Who says you're getting anything?" She asked, and Jane frowned.
"Now you're just being spiteful."
"Spiteful?" Lisbon asked humorously.
"Yes, Lisbon. Spiteful." Lisbon eyed him for a minute before she pushed back from her keyboard and desk to stare at him.
"You do realize that the whole meaning of Christmas is that giving is better than receiving, right?"
"Meh," Jane waved that away. "We give all the time here, and then some…"
"We're civil servants; we don't charge or ask for gifts in return of our services…"
"Blah, blah, blah." Jane interrupted. "I think I've memorized that speech by now…" He cleared his throat, and put on his best imitation of Lisbon. "…Jane, if I find out that you've been peddling gifts from victims in return of our services, I will purposely haunt you for the rest of your life using my taser…"
"I don't think I've ever said that."
"Of course you have," Jane replied cheekily. "Right after you remind me of the no having sex in the office between two co-workers rule…"
"I don't recall that rule either." Lisbon informed him.
"Are you sure?" He asked, quite innocently. "I'm sure that it was the rule after the one that says consultants must deflower their bosses…." Lisbon choked, and she was sure that Jane was somewhat glad he had managed to say that when she wasn't drinking her "vile" coffee concoction, as he called it—otherwise, she had a feeling that he would have found himself showered in coffee. "Oh, did I say deflower? I meant that consultants must deliver flowers to their bosses…silly me." The room fell silent for a few moments, until Jane pressed on. "Anyway, I've come to visit you for three reasons—my first, letting you know that I'm back safe and sound without being kidnapped, and my second, to offer last minute gift suggestions…"
"Jane, it's only the 3rd of December." Lisbon interrupted.
"For Van Pelt," Jane continued on, as if she hadn't just interrupted him. "You should get her something scented; when she and Rigsby were together, she loved lilac, and now, she's all for honeydew. Lilac smells beautiful, honeydew just smells in general—so please, for the sake of my nose and all the honeydews in the world—buy her something other than honeydew." Lisbon shook her head in pure amusement. "For Rigsby, you shouldn't buy him food—we have a whole fridge in the kitchenette dedicated for that purpose; instead, buy him a hotel room…"
"A hotel room?" Lisbon asked, overly amused.
"He has needs too, Lisbon."
"And Cho?"
"What about Cho?"
Lisbon glanced at him, and he merely grinned. "I say that you should just buy Cho a cat…"
"Cho doesn't like cats," Lisbon interrupted again, and Jane grinned, mischievously.
"…I know; that's why you should buy him a cat…" Obviously taking any of Jane's gifts suggestions seriously would cause major problems; Van Pelt's probably had some valid concern, but both Cho's and Rigsby's were obviously, in some way, shape or form, gag gifts. "…and as for me; well, Lisbon, I just want a hippopotamus for Christmas."
"You want a hippopotamus for Christmas?" Lisbon asked incredulously, and he nodded. "Of everything in the world that you could ask for, why would you ask for a hippopotamus?"
"I want a hippopotamus for Christmas
only a hippopotamus will do
No crocodiles, no rhinoceroses
I only like hippopotamuses
and hippopotamuses like me too."
"I'm not giving you a hippopotamus, or any animals for that matter, on Christmas—I already consider you enough of an animal, without the vet fees."
"…mum says the hippo would eat me up but then,
teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian…"
"Okay, you said you came in here for three reasons, and none of those reasons, as I recall, involved you making this your own primetime Christmas special." Jane beamed, and he pulled out a pristine white envelope from the inside of his suit before he handed it to his boss. She could immediately see that her name had been written in an impressive cursive script. "These better not be airline tickets to take me halfway across the world or even to Disney World." Jane only stared at her as she opened the envelope and slid whatever was inside out to reveal a penguin-shaped card. "Is this your way of asking me to get you a…?" Jane shook his head, and Lisbon thanked whoever had given Jane the bell-less reindeer antlers.
"Open it already!" Lisbon conceded to his directions, and her eyes widened at the words on the card.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
Whether you have been naughty or nice this year,
Come join me for a Christmas Celebration.
Patrick Jane's Couch
CBI, Serious Crimes Unit
Saturday, December 18th
7:00 pm - Midnight
Light appetizers and setups provided
Lisbon eyed him over the card. "You're throwing a Christmas party on your couch?" Jane nodded. "Just how many people are you inviting to this couch party?"
"That's for me to know, and you to figure out on the 18th!" Jane grinned as he stood from her couch and ran out her office door, humming yet another Christmas song. Lisbon only stared after him before she closed the card and put the whole absurd idea of a party on his couch out of her mind. After all, there was no way Hightower would allow the man to hold any type of party within the CBI.
Was there?
O.O
The party invitation was tucked away in the back of one of her desk drawers.
She simply forgot about it; Jane didn't mention it again, and on the night of the 18th, she hadn't felt the need to stick around her own office or bullpen past 4 PM.
O.O
"What are you doing?" Lisbon asked Jane on the morning of the 19th as he continued to remove the different colored Christmas lights from his couch. Jane ignored her as he continued to sing a different Christmas song, something Lisbon definitely knew the words of all too well.
"Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?"
"Jane?" Lisbon repeated, worried. Jane merely met her eyes for the first time as his singing fell silent. She only clutched at her coffee mug in awkwardness as she waited for Jane to say whatever was bothering him when Van Pelt stepped into the bullpen, early as always.
"Morning, Grace!" Jane greeted cheerfully as he stepped away from Lisbon to greet Van Pelt with a slight hug.
"I just wanted to say thanks again for last night!" Van Pelt gushed. "I don't think I've ever had so much fun…"
"It was no problem," Jane waved her off. "We all need to have fun every once in a while." Cho entered the bullpen next, and Lisbon watched with wide, fascinated eyes as Jane conversed with Cho, and then conversed with Rigsby (the man had clapped Jane on the back, and Jane had merely smiled in response) before Jane made his way back over to his couch to strip the rest of the Christmas lights from it.
"Jane?" Lisbon repeated softly, and Jane plopped down on his couch while he continued to ignore her. "Jane!" He didn't respond. "Fine!" She hissed. "Be that way. I'm going into my office, and when you want to act and be treated like the adult you are, you can come find me." Lisbon stormed into her office and drew the blinds.
It was one thing to not answer her, but to ignore her—that was just petty and childish. Jane wasn't a child (though, she did have her doubts about that one at times), he was an adult, and adults did not just ignore each other for no reason.
Seriously, Jane had no right ignoring her for no reason at all!
Lisbon threw herself in her chair, turned on her computer to get started on the days work and finally, she managed to sign in, and her email account had been turned on, only to find a few emails about the CBI Christmas party; it seriously didn't matter how much alcohol could be brought to those things, they always managed to end up dull and somebody always managed to slip in a few sprigs of mistle…she paused.
Christmas party. Jane's…
She hadn't!
Lisbon was on her feet in an instant, her hands rummaging around in the second desk drawer for the very invitation that Jane had presented her with nearly two weeks prior. She finally found it, and with a certain amount of trepidation, she quickly opened it up. Printed neatly in black ink, in Jane's tidy scrawl was the date: December 18th.
She sighed and immediately felt guilty; no wonder he was angry with her.
No wonder he had been ignoring her and singing the verse from "Last Christmas", because last Christmas season, the both of them had sneaked off during the annual torture (read: Christmas) CBI party and had ended up on his couch well into the night, a bottle of tequila tucked securely between the both of them. Knowing Jane, he had probably considered her missing his party the ultimate sign of betrayal.
Now she'd have to make it up to him, and she doubted buying him a hippopotamus would fix anything.