We were laying in our meadow, gazing up at the clouds as they formed various shapes above us. This is how it is with my Bella. She makes the little things feel so euphoric.

I knew how lucky I was to have this gorgeous specimen of a woman laying next to me. She is smart, beautiful, funny, witty, sexy, and snarky. Oh, how she can be snarky. Bella has forever changed my life. I can't think about her without a huge smile overcoming my face. Since I think about her all the time I am always smiling. Me. The brooding, loner vampire continuously smiling.

Eternity with Bella would be my personal version of heaven. To always have her by my side like this. To never have to worry about her getting hurt or ill. To show her the world and all it has to offer. Yet, when she asked the next question I thought it was my personal hell.

"Edward. I'm ready to join you. I am being ridiculous about the whole marriage thing. I want to spent forever with you anyways. I shouldn't let worries of what other people are saying get to me."

"Are you ready to change me?"

I told her when she married me I would change her. Believe me, I wanted to marry Bella. I may be a vampire but I am a man. The man part of me couldn't wait to be with Bella in the biblical sense. I couldn't help having impure thoughts of my sexy Bella.

But the other part of me, the vampire part, was not ready to give something up. The one thing that it lived for. The one thing that it craved at all times. The sweet, succulent nectar of the gods that warmed its throat. Awakening all its insides. Bella's Blood.

I didn't think I would be able to feed from Bella without sucking her dry. That is why I ran away to Alaska that first day. That is why I tried to keep my distance from her before I couldn't bear to stay away any longer.

So I trained myself to be around her and keep down the roaring fire welling up in my throat. Resisting the wine while admiring the bouquet.

And then James happened.

When Bella was bitten by James it was the first time I tasted her blood. At first all I could think about was removing the venom from her system. I did not want to damn her to this life. And just the thought of it being James's venom that spread throughout her body, changing her was enough to make me take the chance.

When the venom was removed I could taste Bella's blood for what it truly was. I thought there would be no going back. The monster inside me clawed free and wanted every last drop. It was like nothing I had ever tasted. Completely and utterly euphoric. Taste buds awakened that haven't been used since my human life.

But it wasn't just the taste. It was how it made me feel. I felt strong. I felt free. I felt like I could do anything. Take on anything. I couldn't give this feeling up. I needed to fill me entirely.

But then I remembered who I was feeding from. And I stopped. Because I realized I loved Bella with my entire being. Even the monster inside me realized he could never destroy her. Bella's blood was not enough to take her away from me.

I thought through all of this in merely seconds before I answered her question.

"Of course, Love. I said I would change you when you would marry me. I wish you would wait a while. Live out a few human experiences you never get back. But I will not go back on my word."

"But will you be able to do it? To give up my blood entirely?"

My inner monster was telling me NO! You cannot give up Bella's blood! It's what we live for! We live for the next time we can taste it. Don't dry up our only source! But I could not tell Bella this.

"I would give up anything to have you with me forever."

She smiled at me and leaned over for a kiss. The kiss started out sweet. Moving our lips together slowly. Enjoying the feel of being so close. Then the kiss got hungry. I licked her lip, asking for entrance. She opened her mouth and allowed my tongue enthusiastically, meeting her own tongue with mine.

I let my hands skim down her sides, enjoying the feel of her soft curves. I moved to her neck when she needed to breathe. Leaving a trail of wet kisses.

"You are so unbelievably beautiful Isabella." I sighed into her neck

"You're trying to torture me aren't you? You are the one who wants to wait for marriage. Don't forget that." She manage to get out with a shaky breathe. I loved getting this reaction out of her.

"Believe me, Love. The things I will do to you on our wedding night will be like this "I said as I licked her collar bone "one thousand times over."

She was now trembling. The burning in my throat was intensifying. The way it always did when I got this close to Bella. My lips left her neck and moved to her arms, trailing kisses all the way to her wrist. I kissed the silver crescent scar on her wrist. The scar that has been scarred over many times before.

I let my teeth graze it. Gently teasing her skin. A little gasp escaped her lips as she realized my intention.

"Edward I thought….." I cut her off before she could finish her sentence.

"I can stop Bella. And I will. But I am not turning you today am I? I might as well enjoy the taste of you while I can. Don't you think?"

"But don't you think it might be smart to start getting used to not having it?"

I thought about her question. Would it be wise to start getting used to not feeding from Bella? Probably. I know it will be a very hard separation for me. Like rehab to a heroin addict.

Plus, I don't want to start our married life by being tortured on the inside, going through withdrawals. It is supposed to be the happiest time in my life, being with my new wife. And I want to enjoy every second of it. I did not want to ruin it by my addiction to Bella's blood.

But I couldn't give it up just yet. I had to have it now. At least one last time. So I looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes, and let the monster inside of me take over my dialogue.

"Bella I promise you I will be able to stop. But I want to be able to taste you one last time. Will you please give this part of yourself to me?"

She narrowed her eyes in thought. The little lines between her eyebrows crinkling up as she went over my words in her head. God, how I wish I could see into that head! Finally her face relaxed and I knew she came to her decision.

"Okay Edward. I trust you. I want to give this last part of me to you."

The monster inside was jumping up and down. Proud that his speech won her over. I gave her a quick kiss on her lips before I picked up her wrist, bringing it to my mouth.

I slowly moved my nose over her wrist. Breathing in her floral scent. I gave her scar a small kiss before I sank my teeth into her skin. She gave a little gasp before a low moan. Knowing she enjoyed our feeding times only made it more pleasurable for me.

The instant the first drop hit my tongue I felt that warm feeling going up my spine. The warm spread all over as I greedily drank in more. Bella sat up a little more to rake her fingers through my hair. Almost as if she was encouraging me. This only made me suck in more of her.

I couldn't stop. If this is the last time I will be able to drink her sweet precious life in, I wanted every drop I could get without hurting her.

"Edward" Bella let out as she nudged my shoulder. Letting me know it's time to stop.

I always took in just enough to satisfy my craving. For fear of hurting Bella and fear of my eyes changing color. I did not want my eyes turning red. The color that would mark me as a killer.

I removed my teeth grudgedly and drew in a few more gulps, making sure remove any trace of my venom from her system. I licked over the mark to close it shut. I leaned down and kissed her forehead before I enveloped her in my arms.

"Thank you Bella. I love you with all my heart."

"I love you too Edward. And you're welcome." She said as she moved her tiny arms tightly around me.

We stayed in our embrace for a while. Enjoying the closeness of it. I also did not want her to see my face right at this moment. Because although most of me was completely happy, a part of me was dying on the inside.

The thought of never tasting Bella's blood was unbearable. I was already starting to think it was an impossible feat. The monster inside me was already going over ways to convince Bella to do it again soon.

Eternity with Bella was what I ultimately wanted. I just hope I am strong enough to get my happily ever after.