A/N :

So, this is as the summery says an edited version of a story I wrote when I was sixteen.

There are going to some changes to the story line and I'm diving more into the oc then I did in the original.

If you did read the original you'll probably be doubtful anout how good this can really be, because lets face it, it sucked, but I swear it is a lot better now and it will have more then one page chapters.
This chapter was going to be longer, but I only wanted it to be the first day.

By the way, nobody prolly cares, but I was listening to Afi while I wrote this.

And I cried...I kinda hope you cry as well.

I'ma gonna shut up now and let you read now.

Chapter One: Day One

Roxas' Pov

It was the smell that woke me. Strong and think, burning in my lungs. The smoke billowed into the living room where I had fallen asleep on the couch.

I coughed harshly strugling off the lounge. I was going to head outside, to get out of the burning house when my mind jumped to my brother. Was he still upstairs? Surely if he'd gotten out he'd of dragged me with him.

I went to the stairs, they were already engulfed in flames. The heat was unbarable, the crackling off the fire taunted me, rubbing it in that there was nothing I could do to help my twin.

Suddenly there were hands on me, pulling me away from the flames. The cold air of the out side hit my soot and tear stained face.

"Roxas, Roxas look at me," my neighbour Leon had hold of both my arms. "Where's Sora?"

"Upstairs," my voice was weak and cracked under the strain of a sob.

He said something to somebody else, but I didn't hear, the blood was rushing in my ear now, to loud to make anyhing else out.

He was dead...the only person I had in the world was gone and I was alone. The one thought that was prominent in my mind was that it should have been me. It shouldn't have been my brother. He was so full of life and so selfless. He always strived to make everybody happy. He didn't deserve to die. I did.

_MODERN UGLINESS_

It was hours later, that I found myself at my ex-boyfriend, Axel's, front door. It'd been a few month since we broke up. He'd said he never wanted to see me again, but he was the only person I could think to turn to.

Leon, he was a good neighbour, but he wasn't a friend, he didn't know me like Axel did. He couldn't be there for me like Axel could.

The door swung open in response to my knocking. Axel looked half asleep, wearing nothing but a pair of green boxers that matched his narrowed eyes.

"What are you doing here?" his tone held malice. "I told you, you aren't welcome here anymore."

He went to shut the door in my face, but then stopped. He looked at me a moment with a frown.

"He's dead," the words hurt my heart to say and left a bad taste in my mouth. The hot tears were springing back into my eyes. "He's gone and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this."

"Who?" he asked, though we both knew who I was talking about. "No, don't...you don't have to say it." He shook his head and pulled me into his arms.

"There wasa fire," I muttered into his chest. "He was upstairs, the flames...they were already on the staircase, I couldn't...I..." The sobbing became uncontrolable as I tried to say the words.

"Shush, shush, it's okay," Axel tried to sooth me, a hand rubbing my hair back. "Have you been to the hospital, did you get checked out, huh? You could have smoke intilation otherwise."

"Yeah, I'm fine, there was a peramedic," I brushed off his concern for me. I didn't deserve his worry.

I pulled away from him. I didn't deserve his comforting touch. I didn't deserve to have someone help me. Sora had nobody.

"Come inside," he told me, frowning slightly.

"I don't know if I should," I claimed, as I backed away a bit.

"What are talking about? Why else would you come here?" he questioned. His hand gripped my arm like he was worried I'd run if he didn't hold on tight.

I had come to him because I wanted someone who knew me, who could make me feel better, but once I was there, it hurt. It felt so wrong to be reciving the things I thought I had wanted.

"Just, get inside Rox, we'll figure it out in the morning," he told me.

I nodded and stepped inside. He closed the door and lead me into his bedroom and we climbed into bed together.

He wrapped my smaller frame into his body, hold me close.

In the end the exustion won out and I had no choice but to give into sleep.

_MODERN UGLINESS_

Axel's Pov

I stopped myself closing the door on my ex. Something was wrong. Clearly something was wrong, and now that I had looked properly I could see that. His eyes were blood shot and red rimmed, like he'd been crying.

His face was black and dirty, it looked like ash or something. There were streaks of skin through the dirt where his tears had run.

"He's dead," his voice was soft, but they hit me like a bucket of ice was only one person he could be talking about. I knew I was right because if it were anybody else he'd be with him not here at my door. "He's gone and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this."

"Who?" I asked. I wanted it confirmed. It need to be confirmed before I could react to it, but then I saw his face and I realized what I was asking of him and shook my head. "No, don't...you don't have to say it." I pulled him into a hug, if only so I didn't need to see his face for a moment.

The heart break was clear, yes, the lost look in his eyes hurt my heart. The look that told me that he'd never be the same and that he was certian it'd never stop hurting. The look that screamed that he was alone and terrified. It was the last that made me forget why we had ended things, had let me know no matter what had happened he needed somebody and I was all he had.

I didn't want him to see my face either. Sora and I had been friends and it was killing me inside at that moment. My heart was dropping down into my stomach. I had to bury it quickly though, at least fake it, for Roxas' sake. I could feel it later. I could go into the bathroom and ball my eyes out later when he was asleep.

"There was a fire," he told me as I held him in my door way. "He was upstairs, the flames...they were already on the staircase, I couldn't...I..."

I squeezed him tighter. "Shush, shush, it's okay," I tried to calm him, my hand diving into a blond cloud. Then something hit me. A sense of panic. He'd been in a fire. "Have you been to the hospital, did you get checked out, huh? You could have smoke intilation otherwise."

"Yeah, I'm fine, there was a peramedic," he told me as he pulled away.

"Come inside," I told him.

"I don't know if I should," he sounded like really wasn't sure, and that confused me.

"What are talking about? Why else would you come here?" I asked. I took hold of his arm. I didn't doubt the chance that he would run. When I realized he wasn't going to speak I did. "Just, get inside Rox, we'll figure it out in the morning."

I wave of relief washed over me when he agreed and followed me inside.

Once we were in bed I wrapped the blanket around us and held him close to my body.

His breathes were shaky at first, he was crying, but they soon became even and steady as he feel asleep. My body craved to join him, but my brain wouldn't let it.