It Was All About The Cookies
Neo is going to see the Oracle for the first time. He goes into the kitchen, still thinking about how weird that spoon boy looked. He wonders if the kid had leukemia or something. Suddenly the oracle turns towards him.
Neo: You're the oracle?
The Oracle: Bingo. Not quite what you were cookie expecting, right? Almost done. Smell good, don't they?
Neo: Yeah, sure.
The Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but your not going to anyway. And don't worry about the cookie, I mean vase.
Neo: What vase?
The Oracle: That vase.
Neo: I'm sorry.
The Oracle: I said don't worry cookie about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it.
Neo: (Thinks to himself: "They must be her slaves or something. I knew something was weird about this lady.")
Neo: How did you know? And who's cookie?
The Oracle: What's really going to bake your cookie later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything. You're cuter than I thought. Cookies. I can see why she likes you.
Neo: Who?
The Oracle: Not too bright, though. Have a cookie, they're fresh out of the oven. You know, I just love making cookies. Cookie cookies cookies. That's all I think about, that and the fate of humanity. Would you like another one?"
Neo: Seriously, who likes me. I don't know any girls, wait, I kind of know Switch. Is it her? I thought she was a lezbo.
The Oracle: You know, there are many different kinds of cookies out there. Have another, these are chocolate chip cookies, there are so many different recipes for chocolate chip cookies, in this particular one, I added…
Neo: God damn it, stop talking about those dry cookies and tell me who she is. Is it the girl in the red dress?
The Oracle: Dry? You really think they're dry?
Neo: Oh come on, tell me already. Is it mouse? I always thought there was something a little off about that guy…
The Oracle: But I put so much butter in them, they should have been just the right consistency. Oh god, my whole life has been a lie… (The Oracle starts to cry)
Neo: Oh, hey, don't cry. I mean, they're okay. It's not like it's the end of the world if you make a bad batch of cookies.
The Oracle: But Neo, you don't understand. By my making the cookies (sobs) too dry (sobs again), I have failed you. And if I fail you then it's the end of the world.
Neo: Okay… they're just cookies…
The Oracle: Just cookies?! Just cookies?! The fate of mankind lies in whether or not I can make a batch of perfect fucking cookies. We are so screwed…
Neo: Well, if you tell me who likes me, I'll take back what I said.
The Oracle: (sighs) well, it's Trinity. But I don't see how that will help, you might say that the cookies are not dry, but does that physically make them not dried out? To take away the aridness of the cookies you must believe deep down that they are truly moist and delicious.
Neo: I have to believe that they're delicious too?
The Oracle: That's why I don't think it will work.
Neo: Well, shouldn't what I say go? If I say that they're great cookies, they are. After all, I am The One.
The Oracle: About that…
Neo: Wait a second, Trinity is a woman?!?!
Neo is going to see the Oracle for the first time. He goes into the kitchen, still thinking about how weird that spoon boy looked. He wonders if the kid had leukemia or something. Suddenly the oracle turns towards him.
Neo: You're the oracle?
The Oracle: Bingo. Not quite what you were cookie expecting, right? Almost done. Smell good, don't they?
Neo: Yeah, sure.
The Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but your not going to anyway. And don't worry about the cookie, I mean vase.
Neo: What vase?
The Oracle: That vase.
Neo: I'm sorry.
The Oracle: I said don't worry cookie about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it.
Neo: (Thinks to himself: "They must be her slaves or something. I knew something was weird about this lady.")
Neo: How did you know? And who's cookie?
The Oracle: What's really going to bake your cookie later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything. You're cuter than I thought. Cookies. I can see why she likes you.
Neo: Who?
The Oracle: Not too bright, though. Have a cookie, they're fresh out of the oven. You know, I just love making cookies. Cookie cookies cookies. That's all I think about, that and the fate of humanity. Would you like another one?"
Neo: Seriously, who likes me. I don't know any girls, wait, I kind of know Switch. Is it her? I thought she was a lezbo.
The Oracle: You know, there are many different kinds of cookies out there. Have another, these are chocolate chip cookies, there are so many different recipes for chocolate chip cookies, in this particular one, I added…
Neo: God damn it, stop talking about those dry cookies and tell me who she is. Is it the girl in the red dress?
The Oracle: Dry? You really think they're dry?
Neo: Oh come on, tell me already. Is it mouse? I always thought there was something a little off about that guy…
The Oracle: But I put so much butter in them, they should have been just the right consistency. Oh god, my whole life has been a lie… (The Oracle starts to cry)
Neo: Oh, hey, don't cry. I mean, they're okay. It's not like it's the end of the world if you make a bad batch of cookies.
The Oracle: But Neo, you don't understand. By my making the cookies (sobs) too dry (sobs again), I have failed you. And if I fail you then it's the end of the world.
Neo: Okay… they're just cookies…
The Oracle: Just cookies?! Just cookies?! The fate of mankind lies in whether or not I can make a batch of perfect fucking cookies. We are so screwed…
Neo: Well, if you tell me who likes me, I'll take back what I said.
The Oracle: (sighs) well, it's Trinity. But I don't see how that will help, you might say that the cookies are not dry, but does that physically make them not dried out? To take away the aridness of the cookies you must believe deep down that they are truly moist and delicious.
Neo: I have to believe that they're delicious too?
The Oracle: That's why I don't think it will work.
Neo: Well, shouldn't what I say go? If I say that they're great cookies, they are. After all, I am The One.
The Oracle: About that…
Neo: Wait a second, Trinity is a woman?!?!