Passive-Aggressive Warfare

by ChatterChick

Summary: It's the summer before Hugo's fifth year, and his rebellion against his mother is in full swing. It's all about the little annoyances.

A/N: This is written as chaser for Gryffindor in the Quidditch Little League. The round was 'Next-Gen Lovin'', my character was Hugo Weasley and my prompts were "[word] - backpack", "[dialogue] - Where did that come from" and "[creature] - owl". This also works as an outtake for "How to Charm a Witch" so if you like this, check it out and see more of Colin, Hugo and Lily. Feedback is always appreciated! Cheers!

Beta'ed by RedButterfly33

Hugo Weasley eyed the milk jug thoughtfully, debating whether or not he should just drink it straight from the jug or pour it into a glass.

His mum hated it when he drank straight from the jug. She said it was 'uncivilized' and that she raised him to have proper manners. It was Friday though, and both of his parents were at work. If he broke his mum's rules when she wasn't around to catch it, then did he really break the rules? It was a question for the philosophers.

Or Ravenclaws.

"Hugo, that's disgusting! That jug is half-full!"

He lowered it, smirking. "So?"

"So, no one wants your germs and gross backwash in their milk," Rose lectured him in her bossy, big-sister voice. The voice that, in their childhood, was immediately followed up with the phrase 'I'm telling Mum!' She had grown out of being an annoying tattletale, but she had never grown out of telling him what to do.

Normally he enjoyed tormenting his older sister, but it was too early in the day to be lectured. He still felt quite groggy and his mental game wouldn't be as sharp. There was no point in going head to head with Rose if he was lacking his usual wit. So Hugo shrugged, putting the milk back in the Muggle refrigerator. He was done with it anyway.

"If Mum or Dad asks, I'm over at Brianna's for the afternoon."

Hugo grunted in response. Rose should know by now he wasn't talkative when he first woke up, even if it was half past noon. She scribbled a note on a Muggle notepad and Hugo knew it would outline very clearly who she was with, where she would be and precisely what time she would be home. Rose was rather thorough like that.

"I'm not sure if I'll be home for supper; I might be staying the night. I'll Floo home later when I know the plan."

Rose looked a little guilty as she spoke and Hugo suddenly remembered that tonight was James' party. Their older cousin had just moved into a town house with three of his friends and they were breaking it in by throwing a massive party. Rose's 'sleepover' with her friend was probably just a cover story. She was clearly torn over lying to their parents about it; Hugo thought that was a bit silly of her. Their parents probably didn't even mind her going to the party or drinking. Rose was rather responsible, and she had turned seventeen a few months ago. She could walk into any magical pub and order whatever she liked.

Hugo, on the other hand, was going to get into a lot of trouble if his parents caught him sneaking out to attend that party. Not that that discouraged him. He had plans with his best friends Lily Potter and Colin Longbottom to go anyway.

"Mum left you a note," Rose added, passing him the notepad before she turned on her heel and disapparated with a crack.

Of course his mum had left him a note. She always left him notes telling him to do different errands throughout the day. It was her way to remind him to do things when she wasn't around to nag.

For Hugo;

1. Clean Mercury's cage, give him fresh food, water and a treat.

2. Review Transfiguration notes from third year, chapters six and seven on Animagus and Metamorphagus, respectively.

3. Finish your Potions essay.

Have a great day!

Love, Mum

Hugo scowled. With him starting his O.W.L. year and Rose starting her N.E.W.T. year in September, Hermione had taken it upon herself to organize some sort of revision schedule over the summer. She gave explicit instructions on what subject and chapters he should be doing each day and how far he should be progressing with his summer homework. During supper, Hermione had started springing random quizzes on him or causally asking him about material he should have covered that day.

Most days, Hugo pretended he didn't see her notes, but today Rose had given it to him, so he couldn't just ignore it.

The family owl, Mercury, was out, probably delivering a message or flying around Oxford. Hugo did as he was asked, making sure Mercury had a clean cage and fresh food and water for whenever he returned. An owl treat was left on his perch.

The second part of the note was left forgotten. Hugo decided it was Friday and that was practically the weekend. He couldn't be expected to study on the weekend. He didn't even do that in school!

Everyone thought Rose Weasley was the most like their mum. She was studious, at the top of her class, and meticulous in everything she did. While it was true that his sister was like their mum in personality and appearance, Hugo had inherited the famed intelligence. For the most part, Hugo used that inheritance to fly by with as little effort in school as humanly possible, while still maintaining top grades. It was a talent, he thought, being both incredibly lazy and incredibly gifted.

These days, getting past his mum was giving him a mental workout he rarely experienced in school. While Hugo was smart, Hermione was smarter.

With his list of chores out of the way, Hugo had one other item on his agenda. He needed to secure alcohol for him and his friends for the party at James' place.

As he was underage, it was illegal for him to buy alcohol that wasn't an extremely low percentage, like butterbeer or elf wine. It wasn't illegal, however, for him to drink alcohol if it was already purchased and sitting in his home. It was just heavily discouraged and he knew his parents would forbid it.

This was why he was going to break into his parent's liquor cabinet and steal it.

He hesitated before opening the door and wondered for a brief moment if his mother had put some hex on it to keep him and Rose out. Uncle Bill used to do that when Victoire and Dominique were teenagers and constantly stealing their parents' liquor to go to parties. His cousins had developed a knack for curse-breaking after that, which was both to their father's great joy and frustration.

He was the son of Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley though. If his parents could break into Gringotts to steal Hufflepuff's Cup, then surely he could break into the liquor cabinet. It's not like there was a dragon guarding it.

Well, Hermione Granger-Weasley was a dragon of an entirely different sort. Hugo was convinced his mum could breathe fire if she was riled enough.

As luck would have it, his parents hadn't magically locked the cabinet. When he opened it, over a dozen different bottles greeted him, all neatly lined up and arranged according to type. It seemed that his parents trusted Rose not to steal alcohol from them, and they had yet to have any reason to believe Hugo would do so either. If he was careful enough, they would never have any reason to suspect a thing. There were several bottles of wine for different occasions. Hugo left those alone, knowing his mum would definitely notice if one went missing. There were a few open bottles of Dragon Barrel Brandy, Sir Arthur's Spiced Rum and Odgen's Old Firewhisky, popular liquor brands in the wizarding world.

Those had potential. He could pour some into a water bottle to take with him. It was unlikely that his parents would notice if a bottle that was once three-quarters full was now two-thirds. He didn't think it would be enough though, not for three people to get properly smashed for the first time. There were a few unopened bottles at the back that Hugo pulled out to consider.

Not the Odgen's, Hugo reminded himself, they'd notice that one missing sooner rather than later.

At the very back of the cabinet, he found a nearly-full bottle of Blishen's Firewhisky. It had a thin coat of dust on it. A rather cheap whisky, the type that someone might have purchased by accident, tried it, and then forgotten about it in favour of better brands. Not something his parents would notice missing by any means. Perfect.

Hugo made sure the remaining bottles were all perfectly lined up with their labels facing the front just like he had found them. Then he paused for a moment. As much as he didn't want to get caught before he went to the party, some tiny part of him wanted to leave a calling card. He wanted his mum to suspect, but never be able to prove it. So Hugo turned one of the wine bottles so that the label was crooked and put the spiced rum half an inch behind where the others were neatly lined up.

Taking the bottle of firewhisky, he ran upstairs to hide it in the backpack he was going to take with him. Only, he was distracted by a tap on his window. There was a pair of rather self-important looking Great Horned Owls perched outside his windowsill. They promptly dropped a pair of letters in his outstretched hand, one addressed to him and the other addressed to Rose. Each of them was sealed with a wax stamp with the Hogwarts crest imprinted in it.

Hugo ripped his open, scanning the usual school list for the year. There were a few new books they'd have to pick up in Diagon Alley before the start of term, along with restocking on quills, parchment and potions supplies. There was something else sitting in the envelope. Hugo upended the envelope and a red badge with a golden 'P' on it fell out onto his desk.

Oh bloody hell. Professor Longbottom made him the male prefect for Gryffindor.

He didn't have much time to dwell on it, as he could hear the familiar crack of apparation downstairs. One of his parents had just come home. Hugo hastily shoved the whisky into a backpack, along with some clothes to hide it. He was hoping to make it look like he was planning on staying over at a friend's house for the night.

"Hugo?" Hermione called out as she climbed the stairs. "Hugo, are you home?"

Hugo hurriedly opened the Transfiguration textbook to the middle of chapter seven and sat down at his desk. He smoothed his expression into one of boredom, trying to appear as if he had been innocently studying all afternoon.

"I'm just popping home to pick up something from my office, but thought I'd check in and see how you were – Where did that come from?"

Hugo nudged the backpack under the desk with his foot, just out of Hermione's inquisitive line of sight. "Where did what come from?"

Hermione picked up the badge that was sitting on his desk and Hugo groaned. Now he was never going to hear the end of it. This was going to make his mum's entire week. Her brown eyes crinkled as her entire face broke out into a warm smile. "Prefect? Oh Hugo, this is so wonderful!"

It was a total disaster in his opinion.

"I'm so proud of you!"

This was not what he had been aiming for at all.

"I was so worried that you were wasting your potential at school, but I see now that was all some sort of act at home."

His carefully cultivated rebel image just went out the window. He wondered if he could owl Professor Longbottom and ask him to give the badge to someone else. Anyone else. He'd give it to Tomas McLaggen, even if it meant suffering through McLaggen's power trip.

Hugo awkwardly sat there as Hermione hugged him and fawned over him.

(Her pride was quickly forgotten several hours later, when Hermione was hauled out of bed in the middle of the night to collect her drunken son from the Potters' house.)