Bailout
I own nothing
America was trying to think of a way to pay off his debt. Then he had an idea, "there must be countries that aren't in debt so they must have plenty of money, I could just borrow money from them and when the economy gets better I can pay them back" he said to himself. So he went online and found two countries, he was hoping there was more but beggars can't be choosers. They were Brunei, Liechtenstein. There were two problems, one for each country. Switzerland guarded Liechtenstein like a national treasure, so if he tried to ask her for money he'd pump him full of lead, though he'd do that just for getting close to her. He felt Brunei would be difficult because recently he hasn't had much luck with Islamic countries.
He decided to try Brunei first. "Hey Brunei" he yelled, startling the nation. "Oh hello America" said Brunei, he had a tan skin, a thin beard and mustache, eyebrows that were half England's size, and was about five inches shorter than America. He was always nervous around America since he had a tendency to get involved in things and just make them worse. "So I was wondering …could you lend me some money" America asked. This surprised Brunei, he didn't expect this, he didn't know how to reject him lightly so he was blunt, "uh sorry America but no, I'd like to help you but the last thing I need is economic problems". America was slightly disheartened by this but brightened up again. "well thanks for hearing me out" he said and waved goodbye, Brunei exhaled, he was holding his breath, fearing that after he answered the US army would bust down his door and say he was harboring terrorists. Then he heard the door open "AH I'M NOT HARBORING TERRORISTS PLEASE DON'T WATERBOARD ME" he yelled in fear his hands covering his face, after a moment of awkward silence he removed his hands and saw it was the sultan "uh is now a bad time" he asked confused.
America knocked on Liechtenstein's door "yo Lichtenstein it's me America you home" he called. She answered the door and greeted him "hello America is there something you need", "well I wanted to talk to you about economic stuff, mind if I come in" she allowed him (Liechtenstein you naïve little girl America is like a demon, once you let him in it's gonna be hard to get him out). They sat across from each other in her living room. "so I'm just gonna cut to the chase since you don't have any debt could I borrow some money, once the economy gets better then I'll totally pay you back" he said. "Well you'll have to ask big bruder" she answered "wait what" he asked, "well he handles the economic things for me" she explained, well that's that, the plan has failed, asking Switzerland for money would be like asking England to cook good food, it wouldn't happen even if the world was ending. Then the phone rang "excuse me" Liechtenstein said going to answer it, America was thinking about how miserably his plan had failed, in fact he was so deep in thought that he didn't hear the conversation, five minutes later America was brought out of his thinking when he felt something touch his head, he turned and saw Switzerland pointing a rifle at him. One minute later America was running from the house screaming with bullets flying after him, "you'll pay for trying to shake down my sister!" he yelled, it was him calling and when his beloved sister told him about America's request he came right over.
"And that's how it happened MR. president" America explained to Obama "well I guess the important thing is you tried" he said exasperated "well I'm gonna go hang out with Japan see ya" he said and left. Obama simply shook his head and said "I pity the poor fool who comes after me"
Apologies if the terrorist and waterboard offended anyone