NCIS Characters belong exclusively to Donald P Bellisario and Belisarius Productions, in association with Paramount Network Television. All stories based on Mr. Bellisario's creations are strictly for entertainment value.
Hi. This is my first ever NCIS fic. Please leave me a review telling me if you liked it or not.
All conversation is taken from the song; should be loved by Blue October.
I enter the quiet and dark house that I so often used to visit before the accident that took Gibbs' memory of me… of us. Closing the door behind me, I walk quietly in to the kitchen. I know the only resident of the house is down in the basement, but don't feel quite up to seeing him yet.
I grab a beer from the fridge, open it and down half the bottle in one go before I gather the courage I need to confront my once lover downstairs.
I wander down the stairs to the second last and sit down. Gibbs turns around from the boat and looks at me, bourbon jar in hand.
"Stop staring, you're the reason I feel so unhappy all the time." I look at the floor, not wanting to see the ice-blue eyes of Gibbs.
"I've given you everything I know how. When you're standing on top of my shoe, you're keeping me from ground." I glance up and see that Gibbs has turned away from me, once again working at his boat, the jar filled with bourbon sat close. Gibbs was my first and only male lover, but the accident changed that.
"But… I'm sorry if you feel like I've let you down." I place the now almost empty beer bottle down before standing up. I walk down the last two steps before stopping behind Gibbs.
"Can you tell me, what have I done so wrong, to you? Tell me what am I supposed to do." I shake my head as Gibbs just keeps ignoring me, not one word said. He's always quiet, but not like that. I know he's gotten his memory back, he sad so when he came back from Mexico, but not once have he talked to me about anything… about us.
"I got a feeling you're falling out of love, with me. Tell me… who am I supposed to be?" I walk back to the stairs sitting down, not wanting to leave just yet, just wanting to fix everything between us. I know that feeling like he lost Shannon and Kelly all over again had to hurt him, but him not talking to me or acknowledge me hurt me.
"Should be loved by you." I whisper to the back of the man I still loves.
"That I know is true." Gibbs' words sounds deep, almost echoing around the basement. "But I can't breathe when you're around."
"Should be held at night." My words are louder this time.
"That I know is right." Now it's Gibbs' words that are whispered.
I stand up and walk back to Gibbs, putting a hand on his back. "But I can't breathe when you're around." Gibbs' words still quiet, vibrates through my hand lying on his back.
I shake my head, feeling the anger I'm trying to supress grow. "You're scared; scared off all but I get that feeling I'm talking to a wall." I grab a hold of Gibbs' shoulder turning him round to face me. Gibbs looks at me before shaking his head, taking hold of the jar with bourbon taking a huge gulp of it.
"Can you hear me at all?" I shout at him.
Gibbs looks at me sadness filled in his eyes. "You see… my world was shaking, my mind was quaking, my heart kept breaking so I through it against the wall." With that Gibbs threw his jar still filled with bourbon against the basement wall, the glass pieces tingling where they fall on the floor, the dark bourbon staining the ground.
"Can anyone feel me at all?" Silent tears fall from Gibbs eyes and I take another step closer to the man, only to have him backing up shaking his head.
"So can you tell me, what have I done so wrong, to you? Tell me… what am I supposed to do?"
I shake my head. "I got a feeling that you're falling out of love with me. Tell me… who am I supposed to be?"
I turn around once more and walk away from him. I know how much he misses Shannon, but I am not her, and I never will be her.
"But I know I should be loved by you, that I know is true, but I can't breathe when you're around." I stand at the edge of the stairs. "I should be held at night, that I know is right."
"But I can't breathe when you're around." Gibbs' whispered words strike my heart like a sledge hammer. The same words he used the first time he told me he loved me.
"That I feel when you're around!" I hear his steps coming closer to me, before a pair of strong arms coms around my waist pulling me close to a strong chest.
"I should be loved by you!" I lean in to his arms as he whispers in to my ear.
"That I know is true." I whisper back to him.
"But I can't breathe when you're around." Gibbs ends the sentence with a slow kiss to the side of my neck.
"Should be held at night, that I know is right." I turn around in his arms my eyes meting his. I can see the love, and with a smile I kiss him and whisper against his lips. "But I can't breathe when you're around."
Gibbs deepens the kiss; the only thing holding me up is his arms around me. When oxygen becomes an issue we part slowly, and as he rests his forehead against mine I know everything will turn out just as they are supposed to do.