Warning: AU with very OOC characters. Suicidal Hiccup.

I, once again woke up from the death of me. Sometimes I doubt it, why can I not die? I just wanted to get away from this life. I had nothing to live for anyway. They were worse that the werewolf. They tortured me emotionally.

With me being a weak person, I couldn't do anything. My father, Stoick, he acted as if I was never existed. Only the pains told me that I was existed.

"That night...I always remember it" I said, smiling at the figure who I was leaning against with.

"Go on" He said and I did what I was told

I sighed heavily as I knew that there was no way I could kill myself. I laid myself on a blood-soaking bed and fell asleep. I had a school day tomorrow and Stoick wouldn't appreciate me being late for a school or as I put it a 'Hell'.

When the tomorrow came I walked to the 'Hell' alone, as always. And Stoick never acknowledged about this because he was too dumb to raise me on his own and ignored me since I was a baby. He ditched me to Gobber since then. If he wanted that then, I wanted that too. He didn't want me, then I wouldn't want him. But I knew that one day...one day...he would come back to me, regretting that he ditched me because he realized that my mother wouldn't want me to be like that.

Such deja vu. Because it would really happen but I didn't know it that time.

I arrived at the Dragoons Academy High. Here, we were trained to be a werewolf hunters. I immediately went to a class, trying to ignore the insults and the words, telling me to go to hell. Well, being here was a hell enough for me.

I silently sat down at my lecture table and then Snotlout came up and bullied me. Once it finished...I was ready to go on a rampage and killed everyone. With that I decided to grab a small pointy knife and hid it under my sweater's sleeve. I walked silently behind Snotlout and brought down my knife but before I even killed him. I was stopped by a girl who used to be my friend. Astrid yanked my knife holding hand away and I growled.

I thrusted the another knife into her stomach and she screamed before backing away, holding her stomach. Snotlout punched me and I fell back a bit. I gritted my teeth and growled like a werewolf on murdering-rampage. But before I could do anything, I was pinned down by strong arms and was shocked. My body spasm then I lost my unconsciousness.

I woke up in a hospital wing of the school. Stoick was standing beside my bed, looking serious as he stared at the tablet in his big meaty hands and me, back and fourth. Great, after all these years, he paid me attention by my actions of killing.

"The doctors have done some experiments on you. They said that you have many disorders such as...Social interaction, Weak bones and lack of nitration and more. And they said you have scars on your arms which you really do. They said that you cut yourself. But surprisingly you have a strong gate of emotional. But you also snap the loudest and that gate broke. Now may I ask...Why?"

I sat up and sighed, never gave that question the answer "After all these years? You care about me?!" I laughed darkly after that "Don't you think it's a little bit too late?"

"The police found many shape blades and ropes and rat-killing pills in your room" Stoick said, sighing "Now, tell me what have you done Hiccup"

"I have been trying to kill myself for a year now. So what? It's not like you care!" I snapped at him "You're the worst parent in this world" I said a little bit softer.

"I know. But my duties-" Stoick tried but I cut him off.

"Your stupid duties always come first!" I shouted at him and regretted moving my body. It hurt. Stoick looked taken back.

"But Hiccup. I'm a leader of the hunters" Stoick said.

"Doesn't mean you can leave me unloved!" I screamed "Get out"

"Give me a chance" Stoick said, grabbing my hand.

"I said. Get. Out" I stared threateningly at him "You don't know what I am capable of. Get out now. Or you'll regret"

"Please Son don't do this" Stoick pleaded. I wasn't a forgiving type anymore since I started holding a grudge against Snotlout.

Then I realized something. I didn't have to revenge anymore. Because I would just have to say that Snotlout was bullying me, so I snapped. And Stoick would be in grief, knowing that I would never forgive him. I could just run away.

But where?

The only choice around here must be the forest that full of werewolves but that wasn't a problem to me since I couldn't die. I could live in the forest for the rest of my life. I knew how to survive. I was more a trapper than a hunter anyway.

My hands was still wrapped in Stoick's meaty hands. I had to do something "Dad. Please leave me alone for a while" I said, softening my voice "Also, go talk with Snotlout. He knew it too damn well"

Stoick looked hesitate but he did leave me alone anyway. I pulled the needles out of my arms and get up from the bed. It hurt, yet it felt good to know that I was still existed.

I quietly opened the door and took a peek. There were Gobber and Stoick talking about me "What's wrong with him, Gobber? He never acted like that" Stoick said like he knew me the best.

"The boy...just has strong mind. He bared with the negative feelings for a while now-" Gobber was interrupted.

"How long?" Stoick said.

Gobber looked interested at the floor "He talked with me a few months ago. The lad said that when his mother died, you never loved him again. He said that he felt lonely and unloved. He also told me that he started cutting himself. The pain was only thing reminded him that he was still there. I begged for him to stop but he would never do. I didn't know about the suicide until now"

I could see Stoick's hurt expression plastered on his face "Then...how is his study in arena?" Stoick asked.

"The boy isn't a hunter but he is more like a trapper. One of the students nearly went to Valhalla by his traps"

Stoick just nodded at that, and then said "Gobber, if someone can get into him, it's you. Please talk with him" Stoick said, gesturing at my door "I'll go to Snotlout and have a talk with him"

"Okay" Gobber said.

Gobber was coming here. I had to go now. I looked around the room and found a window. I quickly approached it and pushed it opened. Luckily my room was on the first floor, so I jumped out of the room and took off to the forest entrance which was near the hospital since many men in the hunt would came back with wounds when they came back from the hunt.

It was hard to keep up my speed since I was still lack of energy. But I finally stumbled into the forest with heavy breathing. Stupid me I didn't bring anything with me!

Well, great way to start. I walked slowly started catching my breathe. I had to find something to eat first then build or find a shelter it was at noon now. I looked for something to eat while I was walking through the forest. I had to admit that it was amazing here. It was better than in the town.

I saw bushes with berries. Its amount would not satisfied even a person in the town but it satisfied me very much. I grabbed some to eat an kept some of them in my hospital shirt's pocket. Heck, I had to find something to change into, I cannot really worked with these clothes on.

I walked deeper and deeper in the forest. Yep, its area took 3/5 of Archipelago. The other two of five was towns and villages. And no one had a map for this forest. I actually was the one who dared walking in this forest alone with nothing but hospital clothes.

But it wasn't that bad. I saw a cove and there was a cave in it. And it was dry. It was getting dark now, so I started gathering some sticks and woods. I grabbed a trunk and put some leaves and twig on it before swirling a stick against it to make bonfire. Also there was a lake in the cove. I could just eat fish, so I didn't have to worry about the protein.

I sat down and hugged my knees closed to my chest. It felt lonely here but that didn't matter since I was always lonely. I then thought about the things I had to do the next day. I had to build traps and...a knife. A knife was the main thing.

I lied on the hard ground, using my hands as pillow and let the sleep claimed me.

"Well that's enough for this night" I said as I stood up and stretched. The pups/kids whined, wanting to know more.

"I'll tell you the other night" I said.

"Promise?" The pups said.

"Promise" I nodded "But next time will be his turn to tell you this story from his point of view" I said, pointing at the person who I recently had leaned against.

"Aw. Do I have to do that?" He said.

Wow, my first werewolf HTTYD fanfiction..