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Ok, so really this story came out of thin air. For some reason, the thought of Mush falling into a toilet seemed hilarious to me, so I wrote a fic about it. And I ended up writing most of it while I was watching the MTV Movie Awards just so I could watch Christian Bale get 'Best Hero' for Batman Begins. If you've never watched the awards, they're hilarious. So I was already in a dumb mood, and this is the production of it. And the old lady and the fly song seemed appropriate for it.
Disclaimer: I still don't own Newsies or any of the characters. Disney still does. I don't own the Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly song, and I don't know who does. But whoever it is, they own it. And just to be on the safe side, I don't own MTV Movie Awards, Christian Bale (sadly…), or Batman Begins. There, I think I covered all my bases.
The Day Mush Fell Into the Toilet
There was an old lady, who swallowed a goat,
She swallowed the goat to catch the dog
Swallowed the dog to catch the cat
Swallowed the cat to catch the bird
Swallowed the bird to catch the spider
Swallowed the spider to catch the fly
Every newsie who has ever lived in the lodging house has a favorite memory from their time there. It's quite obvious that the moment that topped most of the boys' lists was the day Mush fell into the toilet. Well, that might depend on who you were and what part you had in the day.
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It was honestly an accident.
Everyone knew that Blink had no intention of it.
Yet it happened.
And that was the beginning of the day that Mush fell into the toilet.
It was all normal, Jack was shaving his invisible beard, some boys were washing their faces, and others were getting dressed. Basically, same old same old. Then in the accidents of all accidents, Blink stepped back and slipped on a pile of shaving cream that had fallen to the floor. Before he knew it, he had toppled into Mush, who was just entering the bathroom, who in turn did a face plant right into the crapper.
For a few moments, there was dead silence. Kind of like the awkward silence after someone has said something really depressing in the middle of a bunch of happy people and no one really knows what to say. Racetrack cracked first, trying hard to restrain from an outburst he knew was coming. Suddenly, an irate, wet Mush turned around to face the lodging house. No one ever really expected Mush would be one to get angry, but I guess if you stick someone's head in a hole that a bunch of other people have shit in, it might push a few buttons. Scoping up that same shaving cream, Mush held a large, fluffy pile in his hands and began chasing Blink.
So as anticipated, Blink raced out of the lodging house, starting the big chase. Shaving-cream-armed Mush and a whole bunch of other entertained newsies quickly followed him. As Mush brought his arm back to fling the mess, none other than David Jacobs walked by to meet the boys for the day. And you guessed it, the whole thing landed right in Davey's face.
Which resulted in Davey being after Mush who was after Blink. Too stunned to make use of the brain he claims to have, Davey simply ran, and ran, and ran after Mush. Repeating what his friend had done months ago when they first met, the little genius ended up running straight into Jack's shoulder.
Angry and joining the pursuit, Jack chased Davey who was chasing Mush who was chasing Blink. It's at this point that all the other newsies finally learned the purpose for Jack's rope. Swinging it as if to lasso a bull, Jack missed his target David and succeeded in roping in Spot. That was awkward.
And to keep the chain going, Spot joined. Using none other than his sling shot, Spot snatched some fruit from a vendor and sent it sailing in Jack's general direction. As it turns out, Spot doesn't quite have perfect aim every time. Nailing Weasel, Spot knew he was in deep shit.
To everyone's surprise, Weasel ran after him. The surprise wasn't so much Weasel being angry as it was the whole running part.
So in the end, Weasel was after Spot for nailing him with fruit,
Who was after Jack for roping him,
Who was after Davey for running into him,
Who was after Mush for flinging him with shaving cream,
Who was after Blink for pushing him into a toilet.
The dog chase continued to parade through New York as the other newsies could hardly contain themselves. No one knows for sure, but rumor has it Blink, Mush, Davey, Jack, and Spot called it quits and had lunch at Tibby's. It's alleged that Weasel is still running…
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So really, the day Mush fell into a toilet was without question the best memory for any of the boys at the Manhattan Lodging House. Unless of course, you were Blink, Mush, Davey, Jack, Spot, or Weasel.
And there you have it. Just review ;).
Carrying the Banner!
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