Notes: I quick Theresa/Joel "Toel" drabble I wrote ages ago shortly after Lynsey died. Thought I'd finally upload it. Set when Theresa had Racqui's flat (the one above Ste's). Yes, it'll always be their flat to me.

Losing a friend.

He knocks the door quickly, biting his lip and breathing heavily. He's out of breath; gasping for it. He's scared; alarmed. He hasn't a clue what's going on; he just knows it isn't pleasant. Nothing's good in any way at the moment. He blames Brendan. Tears fall from his eyes but he wipes them away quickly. He refuses to let Theresa see him in such state. When with her he must be strong; able to protect her. He knows that's no good now though.

Stumbling her way to the door, she opens it quickly, surprised to see Joel standing there. They haven't been in contact since her text; too much has been going on and she misses him.

"Joel," she says, almost excitedly, catching her first glimpse of him. Her eyes meet his. She soon senses something's wrong. His eyes tell the story; they look red and frightened. There's no hiding it.

"Theresa," he breathes out, unable to contain his emotions. She grabs hold of his hand and pulls him gently through the door.

"Joel, what's happened?" she asks. Her eyes widen as she embraces him into a tight hug. Her chin presses against his shoulder and her eyes look concerned. Her hands pull him tightly into her

"I don't know," he mumbled back, in his Scottish accent. "Brendan told me to come here." Joel pushes himself out of the embrace. "I mean, stay here," he corrects himself.

"Course… What is it Joel? Why did Brendan say that?" Theresa's confused. Nothing makes sense and she's not the smartest pin in the box anyway. Her eyes too look worried now. They stay fixated on Joel's and refuse to move. He thinks to himself and bites down on his lip again, his breathing becoming louder; faster once again.

"Lynsey." Her name finally escapes his lips. "She was just lying there, Theresa. Cheryl was there and Brendan, and Ste…." His words are muffled and difficult to hear. He takes hold of Theresa's hand and walks her over to the couch. He has to sit down. Theresa's still looking at him in a confused daze. "Brendan was… I-I've never seen him like that before. Something's really wrong."

"Well you don't know that." Her words mean nothing to him. He knows what he'd seen. It hit him hard. Hours ago he thought he was about to lose his life, now Lynsey was lying on the floor looking lifeless.

"I do… I do," he gulps. He looks away from Theresa, blinking his eyes. He doesn't want to sound so afraid; so useless, especially not to Theresa. There's no one else though. "You didn't see Cheryl…" He shakes his head. The image is still stuck to his mind; it's all he can think about. He thinks he daren't tell Theresa about the previous events of the day. He panics. He wants to go back to where Lynsey's led. He needs to know what's going on, but he must do what Brendan says. His phone rings and he answers immediately. He holds it intently to his ear whilst walking into the kitchen area. "Brendan. No. No, tell me now Brendan." Theresa stares at him from the chair. She bites her own lip in worry. "What? No. Are you sure?" There's shock in his voice. "Well how? This is all your fault, Brendan. First I nearly die, now her? Yes, I'm at Theresa's. Okay." He ends the call and stares out the window. His eyes well up. He just stands there. All his energy disappears immediately.

"Joel. What'd he say?" Theresa asks. Joel doesn't answer. She gets up and walks over to him. His face is pale; he looks ill. His mouth drops open whilst he takes in what Brendan's just said.

"Murder. It was murder," he spits out, still staring out the window. He has to avoid looking at his girlfriend now. He'll look weak. Tears finally drop down his cheeks. He can't hold them back; it's impossible.

"You mean she's actually…" Theresa looks shocked too. The word murder means too much to her. It makes her feel sick too, despite not liking Lynsey. It makes her hate what she'd once done. To see Joel so upset; it was unusual, horrible. Joel didn't know about what she'd done that time, years ago. Just her family, Warren and Rhys did. The thought lingered in her mind. It couldn't stay there. She needs to be there for Joel now. Her hand reaches out for his. She rubs it comfortingly but Joel still can't bear to look her in the eye. He nods shortly before breaking down completely. Sobbing. Theresa moves close to him, trying to console him. Her head rests against his neck and her arms wrap around his body. Her right had glides up to his cheek, using it to pull his face closer to hers. She stares into his eyes for a matter of minutes; he's forced to do the same back. Her mouth moves forwards and collides with his. It's her way of telling him she's there for him.