Chapter 1

Disclaimer: South Park is owned by Comedy Central.

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Dear Journal,

I really don't know why I'm writing in this thing. This is probably just a waste of time. So, they told me that, in a journal, you're supposed to write about stuff that happens in your day or whatever, so I'll try that.

Mr...I mean Missus, Garrison tried to teach us about Evolution today. Something about a monkey getting fucked in the ass by a fish, and ending up with retarded babies or something. I don't know. He...or she, didn't really seem to like evolution, and wanted to just go with the whole "God made everything so shut up" type of stuff. I really hope that isn't on the test or whatever, because it's really fucked up if evolution was how Missus Garrison actually said. The book for class explains it a little better, but not by much... it must think that we're retards or something.

Kenny looked up from his writing at the clock. It was getting late, but it's not like his parents cared all that much. He heard them bickering in the kitchen, but it didn't matter. Something about bills or whatever. He paused, thinking, and then started writing again.

About retards...I think that the adults in this town are retards, and I'm afraid sometimes that us kids are going to end up being that way as well. I mean, is it in the water, the air...or something else? They're all the time doing something stupid that could get everyone killed, or whatever. I don't see why they're even allowed to run the town. It seemed better when we ran it ourselves for a little while. Best 10 days of my life, though I can't really remember much of the last part of it...when the parents came back.

I woke up in my bed, and everything was fine. I remember being in a dark place...

I wonder if it was Hell? Or...just...nothing? After the dark place, I woke up like I was before, though I had to take a shower afterwards because of all the rat shit that had got on me from out of nowhere. I mean, what the hell would rats want with me?

And Eric just won't shut up about the stupid Wii. I want one too...but I know that my parents are too poor to get one, unless it's used or something. I think he went out earlier with Butters...though I didn't see him the rest of the evening.

"Kenny! Go to bed! You have school tomorrow!" His Mom's rough voice broke him out of his memories, as he closed the black composition notebook, scrounging around in his pocket for a key.

"Okay!" He said through his hoodie, as he hopped down from the chair, and unlocked a red box, placing the small book in there, along with the pencil he had used to write with. He closed it up, and locked it, hearing a satisfying click of it being secured. He placed the key back in his hoodie, and took it off, throwing it over the back of the chair, and rustling his messy blond hair with his hands. He flipped the switch to the light off, and hopped into bed, his eyes closing quickly in the dark.