Angelus Fletus Est (English translation: Angel Weeping)
**IMPORTANT NOTE: Regarding Updates – I'm sure a lot of you are glad to see this back up and running (as many of you have been asking me when I would repost). For those of you who do not know, this story was first published exactly a year ago on October 28, 2002. I'm very upset that I lost it before its one-year anniversary.
Me: yes I am back again.
Yami: *sarcastically* oh joy.
Yugi: *mild glare* can u ever quit?!
Yami: *smugly* no.
Me: Ok...warning here. ANGST, ANGST, ANGST!!!!!! Major tearjerker!!!!!! *sniffs* very, very sad. A bit of OOCness, especially in Yami and Joey. A bit in Seto Kaiba.
Okay. Summary: Well, you've all seen fics out there where Yugi is feeling either overshadowed by his yami...or that his friends don't care about him. Well, in I believe all of them, he is proven wrong by one or all of his friends. (note the word friends. It comes into play here) Well...what if...this time...he's right? And what if he can't take it anymore?
Okay that sucked. Its not quite what happens, but its close enough. Yea, I'm pathetic. And NO Yugi will not even CONSIDER suicide!!! I love him too much for that!!!!
Yugi: *sigh of relief*
Me: To all of you who have read Broken Angel: This is way sadder than that, at least that's my opinion. Be prepared for MAJOR ANGST!!!
Ok...on with the fic!
\Thoughts\
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He ran, his footsteps hitting the pavement in time with his gasps for air. He ran, ran from them. Ran to the one place where he ever felt peaceful.
It was a secluded spot in the park, near the little stream that made its winding way through the entire town. Completely obscured by foliage and trees, it was virtually impossible to see anyone in there. Which was perfect for the short, spiky-haired sophomore; the peaceful, quiet air calmed the choked gasps as he threw himself down, leaning against a tree.
Yugi drew his legs up, resting his chin on his knees, his arms wrapping around his legs. He stared at the little brook, tears filling his amethyst eyes as he struggled to keep his feelings down.
"Why?" The harsh whisper cut through the eerie quiet of the small sanctuary in which he had taken refuge.
"What's wrong with me? Why do they hate me so much?" His voice rose a touch.
A few moments passed in silence. Then he sighed. "And why do I ask such stupid questions?" The quiet voice was now painfully defeated. "It's obvious. I'm nothing. I always have been. I'm only in the way, and before I was only there so that Yami could inhabit someone."
He continued to stare at the stream, it seemed so carefree, so joyous. He would give anything to feel like that again. "And why would they want me? They have each other. Joey has Mai, Tristan has Tea, Bakura and Ryou are inseparable, and Yami is always hanging out with either Seto, Bakura, or just everyone. I'm only a bother." He sniffed; his voice had broken in several places.
Yugi rested his forehead against his knees, hiding the tear that had made its way slowly down his cheek. "Why doesn't anything good last for me?" He whispered. "I thought I had someone...someone who was my friend. Someone...someone who cared." He sat there in silence once more, his golden bangs falling forward, resting on his arms.
A wren cawed out a greeting to its mate, causing the boy to raise his head, his tear-filled gaze watching the two carefree birds play in the afternoon sun. He sighed, leaning back against the tree. "Even those two have each other. I don't have anyone. I never will have anyone."
He snorted suddenly, remembering what Joey had said to him last year when he had been upset about not finding a date to the dance. No one had wanted a date who was a foot or so shorter than they were. "You'll find your someone, Yugi. Someone will love ya, she'll think you're heaven on earth. You're an incredible person, ya know, Yug'."
After that he had gone to the dance and had a blast with Mai.
"Yeah, sure Joey. An incredible person. Sure." Yugi said, louder than he had spoken before, a very un-Yugi-like sarcasm dripping from his words. He had so many stories that would put those words to shame. That would show them for what they really were: a lie. "That's why they laughed when I asked them to dance. That's why it's considered amusing when someone picks on me. That's why I always get left behind," he said, pain filling his words, his voice rising passionately. His head dropped a bit suddenly. "Maybe I am a halfway decent person. A halfway-decent person who's short, who everyone overlooks, who has no friends whatsoever." The sarcasm was back.
The clearing was quiet once more as he thought back to the events that had happened only an hour earlier.
~*~
Yugi sat in his desk, drawing absent-mindedly as he listened to the discussion going on a couple desks over.
"So, anyway, guys, I was wonderin' if you'd all like to hang out at the arcade with me. When my shift's over, we can eat out, then head on over to my place to watch a movie or something," Tristan said, grinning. He was met by a chorus of enthusiastic yeses from the group.
"How bout you, Yami?" Joey asked. Yami smiled.
"Sure, I'd love to go. That way I can kick your ass at that game again." Yami said casually, not even glancing in his hikari's direction. The group laughed. Yami had mutilated Joey in his favorite racing game, or so Yugi had heard. He'd stayed home.
Seto frowned slightly. "What about Yugi?" Yugi's hand slipped on the paper slightly, and his hopes rose a notch. \Maybe they'll notice me, let me come along for once\ he thought.
At that moment the bell had rung, and they had had to return to their seats.
_-_-_-_-_-_
That afternoon, Yugi was once again tagging along behind the group as they walked out of school, not noticing that he was behind them.
"So, everyone ready?" Tristan grinned. Four heads nodded.
"Sorry, guys, I need to get home" Ryou said. "Yami said he has plans." He smiled, obviously looking forward to whatever Bakura had in store for him.
"Ok. Tell him we said hi." Said Joey. "How bout you, Seto?"
Seto, he noticed, was looking slightly troubled. "How about your hikari, Yami? I notice he hasn't been hanging out with us lately." Yugi again felt his hopes rise. Maybe this time he'd be included.
"Oh who cares. Let's just go already." Sighed Tea. Yugi was hurt, but not that much. He'd heard the same thing for over two months.
That hurt didn't compare when everyone else save Ryou and Seto nodded. Even his Yami did so, and he was smiling, too. Seto frowned.
Joey shrugged. "Yea, let's go! I wanna kick your ass in that game, Yami! So Seto, coming or not?"
Yugi didn't even wait for Seto's answer. He was off...running. He didn't hear Seto's "no" but he did hear Tristan's "Dude, go hang out with him if you care so much. But frankly, I don't see why you bother."
Yugi ran faster. ~*~
Tears threatened to fall from the wide amethyst eyes once again. "Yea, Seto. I don't know why you bother. You already know the answer to your question." He whispered. "Go on, knock yourself out at the arcade...try to kick Yami's ass again." His breath caught in his throat as he relived the pain he felt when Yami had agreed with Tea.
"Not even Yami cares. No one does." Yugi angrily pushed the tears away.
A pause, and then, "He said that there's always someone who cares about you. Even when it seems like nobody does. God, how could I have been so naïve as to believe that?!"
The emotion that he had tried to hold back spilled over. He stood up, raising his head to look at the sky. "Show me!" he cried, anguish and pain evident on his face.
"Show me someone who cares!" he screamed at the sky. "Let me see just one person who is thinking about me right now! Just one!"
A tear made its way slowly down his cheek and he fell to his knees suppressing a sob. "Just one..." he whispered in despair.
A longer pause. "I want to see someone who cares." His voice started to rise. "I want someone to tell me to my face that I'm not nothing." He got up again, his voice rising steadily with every word. He choked back a sob. "I want someone to tell me that I'm worth something! I want someone to look me in the eye and say that they truly care!" he was yelling now, walking unsteadily towards the stream, a few tears falling slowly down his cheeks. "I want someone to look me STRAIGHT IN THE EYE and TELL me that they'll be there! That they wont leave me!" he was about to break into a run when he tripped on a rock and fell next to the stream.
He raised himself to his knees, a miserable whimper escaping his lips. "I want...I want someone...someone to look me in the eye...and say that..." here he sobbed, "to say that they love me." Then he broke down. The pain was too much. His arms gave out from under him and he crumpled to the ground, sobbing his heart out.
After awhile, he raised his head, quiet tears streaming down his cheeks in rivers. "I...I can cry..." he whispered, almost amazed. "I haven't been able to cry for so long..." It felt almost good to be able to vent his feelings after holding them in for what seemed like forever.
He looked up slightly, seeing a small flower near his hand. More tears appeared on his cheeks as he remembered Tea giving one just like that to him when they were in second grade. His lips formed the cute little poem that had been messily scrawled on the note that had come with it.
/Take this flower, to you from me.
Remember that faithful friends we will forever be./
"I have no friends, much less faithful ones." He wept quietly. His head dropped back down on top of his arms. "I've only been fooling myself these past couple years. Who on earth cares for weak, naïve little Yugi Motou?" another sob left his lips.
Then he felt someone touch him. He flinched slightly, they were only going to order him up, tell him to get on with his life. He tensed, closing his eyes, expecting the rough treatment that he'd grown accustomed to receiving when he wasn't being ignored.
Instead, the hand on his shoulder moved, and he felt two strong arms lift him into a strong embrace. He flinched again involuntarily, and the arms tightened around him, protectively. Seto Kaiba held the crying boy to him and whispered, "I care, Yugi. I care."
======
Me: *sniffs* yes, I know. That sucked. But oh well.
Yami: No flames. Period. Or I will send you all to the Shadow Realm. *Sennen eye appears*
Me: relax, Yami. Anyways, R&R!!!! Yes I am continuing this (although it would be a decent one-shot.)!!! So, until I post next, ja ne!