This is the Spicy side of the Spicy and Sweet series! This is the smutty one, obviously since it's rated M. The fluff is posted too, so you can read this one first, then the fluff second. Or they can be read separately, your choice.

Disclaimer: I own nothing and if I had the power, I would make 8/13 into an internationally known celebratory AkuRoku day.

Please enjoy and happy reading!

"Keep pushing the love you're being offered away. You'll see someday, clear as crystals; it's all you ever wanted in the first place."

Of course, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy. Sure enough, I was happy for him, for them. Those two being my twin brother and his new husband, the man he's loved since he was, what, five years old? It was a little too sickeningly sweet, their relationship. Best friends since diapers, the greatest of buds through elementary school, first crushes in middle school, love birds and high school sweethearts and finally, they reached the point where Sora was excitedly screaming at me through the phone one day that Riku had proposed.

I was happy, truly I was. They were so perfect together, I'd never seen two people move so in synch before. Like they were build for each other, molded to fit the other's needs. Since I was a kid I felt the slow decay of my teeth from their sweetness whenever I was around them. It kind of made my jaw hurt.

Our mother was so in love with the fact that they were so in love. Dad tried to look indifferent, but it was easy to see that he was happy for Sora. Seemed to be that, now that he was a married man (I think it's quite funny that I get to call him 'Wifey' now) he's turned into the pride of the family. Me, on the other hand…well I'm single. I've had my share of casual flings and one night stands. It seems to have been ages since I've actually dated someone for more than three weeks. That lifestyle always suited me, since I was a determined University student and didn't exactly have much time to spare. Or was that just an excuse? Since I wasn't much into studying anyways.

I guess it really was becoming undeniable now. I didn't want to admit it, kept denying it to myself for months, years even. But somehow, this wedding seemed to have bitch slapped me in the face so hard I was seeing broken love arrows lying at my feet. I had smiled and taken that stab to the heart while I was standing beside my brother as his Man of Honor (why did I accept that title?). The realization was a bitch, that's for sure.

I was jealous. Jealous of my brother. Of Riku. Of their relationship. Their love. Their marriage.

I figured it out finally. I wanted that too.

His name was Axel, and to be perfectly honest, I had no idea why he took the seat next to me at the bar. The wedding reception was still in play, everyone laughing and dancing, taking pictures and eating cake. Sweet cake. None of that for me.

I had been watching, a glass of scotch on the rocks in my hand, as Riku and Sora danced together. They were like the Ying-Yang symbol I had thought, pressed together, Sora in his white tux, Riku in his black. It kind of made me feel a little sick. They were like perfection on a stick, tied with a sugar bow and dipped in the most heavenly chocolate.

"Whatcha got there, Rox?" Axel inquired, gesturing to my drink. For all of thirty seconds, I had completely forgotten that he had sat beside me.

Axel, Riku's best friend (besides Sora) and Best Man, the tall handsome redhead, someone I used to have a crush on in high school, and the man I had walked down the isle with not more than a few hours ago. I've known him for years and we've been friends more by association than anything. But we did hang out a lot, and I had gotten to know him. I remember all the time as a teenager thinking he was 'hot' (I laugh at that term these days since it reminded me of angsty teenagers) and embarrassingly enough I remember telling Sora that I wanted nothing more than to get into those skinny jeans he had always worn. Of course, with my luck, that had never once happened. Most likely since he had been like a ball of fire, bouncing around, cheery and out going and always on the move. Back in high school, I'd been more reserved, brooding in my room and drawing pictures and such.

It seemed that separation after high school squished my rampaging heart and I really calmed down whenever he was around. Now he was just Axel to me, the fun loving funny guy who happened to attend the same University. Not that that really mattered, since I only see him on rare occasions around campus.

A hand was waving in front of my face and I jerked my head a bit, blinking rapidly. I looked up at him, embarrassed for having spaced out and said, "What did you say?" I felt stupid and my cheeks were burning up, a combination of feeling foolish and the alcohol.

"I had asked what you were having when you blanked out on me." He was grinning and I frowned in return. I may have been over my crush on him, but he did still have an effect on me. My heart thumped a little harder in my chest and I knew I had to compose an answer so I didn't babble like an idiot.

"Oh, uh, just some scotch. Nothing special." I turned, looking away from him and those damn green eyes and back to the dance floor in time to see my mother, slightly tipsy, pull Riku from his new bride and start some whacky jig. Riku looked confused. I looked down at the glass of alcohol in my hand and shrugged. Must be hereditary.

"You seem a little off, man. What is it, not a wedding person?"

I couldn't help but look over to Axel, finding his eyes focused not on my face but rather a spot on my neck. His looks always made me feel so self conscious, only because when he looked at you, it was quite intense. Maybe it was just me? Was I easily intimidated? No, it was only with him. I didn't like it.

I thought of his question and answered, "Guess I'm not. The whole festivities and after-party isn't really my thing. But it'd be rude if I left early." That wasn't a lie. I really wasn't much of a party person, and I'd really rather be on the road, driving the two hours back to my apartment near school. The real truth, my jealousy, wasn't something I was going to say.

Axel chuckled beside me, a rather hearty and pleasant sound. "I know what you mean. My whole dilemma is the fact that I have no idea who anyone is. Besides you, of course."

Right after he said that, his arm moved and rested around my shoulders. I had the sudden urge to squirm beneath his touch but I held still and drained the rest of my scotch. I felt super aware of his presence all of a sudden. The warmth of his arm around me, the spicy sent of his cologne, everything. We both just looked out, watching everyone on the dance floor. I wasn't exactly sure what he was doing or what he wanted to do, but he didn't keep me waiting for an answer long.

He leaned in, breath warm on my neck as he whispered into my ear, "Would you like to join me? I got a room here all to myself."

His intentions were clear and immediately I felt a jolt of excitement. It'd been months since I've been laid and this really wasn't just any lay. This was with Axel, someone I've dreamt of sleeping with when I was younger. That unfulfilled dream that I had let go of was back, and my chance had arrived. Who could pass this up, especially since it was with someone who was admittedly gorgeous?

Not me, no way. I nodded my head, set my glass on the bar counter and followed Axel out the doors.

Axel didn't waste anytime. Not that I really wanted him to. This was the fast set pace I was so used to, what I had conditioned myself to crave. Hard and fast, that's what I liked, it's what I wanted.

Quietly in the back of my mind, I thanked Sora and Riku for having their wedding in a hotel. It was so much more convenient for their guests and it was a beautiful place as well. It made things easier for this meeting between me and Axel, at the very least.

As soon as we were in the door, it was slammed shut behind us with a 'Do not disturb' tag on the door handle. The room was like any of the others, small and dark in the nighttime with no lamps on. The curtains were open and the sky was clear of any clouds, allowing the moon to filter in through the window. I didn't take in any specific details since I was pounced on fairly quick.

His lips found mine, hot and wet and an eager tongue was all too happy to pry my mouth open and tangle with my own. My back hit the wall hard and a small grunt of pain escaped from my throat. But our kiss was never broken and it went on, passionate and suffocating. His hands were pulling at my shirt, un-tucking it then moving to work on the buttons. I worked on his shirt as well, both of us fumbling with our tasks but getting it done regardless. As his lips left mine to give us a brief moment of reprieve, I had a sudden realization of just what was going on. I was kissing Axel. He had me pinned to the wall. Things were progressing fast, and it was hot, and my goodness, I was about to have sex with Axel of all people!

Somewhere during my inner excitement we had been moved towards the bed. I had unconsciously wrapped my legs 'round his waist and suddenly I was falling, being dropped onto the cushiony bed. Axel's heated warmth dropped above me, sinking low. My pants were undone and I lifted my hips, assisting the redhead with taking them off. I was naked from the waist down, my shirt lying open across my chest which was rising and falling with my heavy breathing. My lips were still tingling from our kisses and his fingertips seemed to have left electricity in their wake.

I gasped and arched when his hand first gripped my erection. It was amazing how he seemed to know exactly what to do, know the right amount of pressure to apply. His free hand tweaking my nipple, roused a moan from me. Then he shifted, replacing his fingers with his mouth, closing over my nipple and nipping gently. I couldn't help but squirm, the flush rushing fast up my neck, my cheeks burning intensely. My hands moved to grip his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin.

He moved again, face above mine. He kissed me, slow and deliberate and heated. He took his time with this kiss, seemingly wanting to deliver the ultimate pleasure. He sucked my tongue into his mouth, a scrape of teeth over it feeling oddly pleasant. And when his lips were gone from my own, leaving them feeling bruised, he then kissed my neck feverishly, sucking hard at the juncture of my neck and shoulder. He bit down hard, causing me to cry out wantonly, then he soothingly ran his tongue over the mark as though apologizing.

He stopped then, and like I was breaking out of a trance, I was suddenly self conscious. He was looking at me, hovering above, just staring at me. Awkwardly his hand was still wrapped around my shaft, having stilled, no longer moving. And he just stared, making me feel like I should do something to get him going again.

My mouth, stupid enough to not consult my brain, blurted out, "I've always wanted to do this with you." I couldn't even find it within myself to feel embarrassed.

He smiled, chuckling amusedly. "Glad I could make your dreams come true," he said. Then he slid down my body sinisterly and took me in his mouth.

I cried louder, biting my fist quickly in hopes of stifling the noise. I highly doubted these walls were very thick. And it was nighttime, so the other guests were more than likely still asleep.

His tongue, swirling and tracing the vein along the underside of my cock, then his lips, sucking lightly at the tip. It was heaven, ecstasy, something I've been craving for way too long. I was bucking my hips, my hands fisting at his hair and hoping to persuade him that I needed this, needed him to devour me and make me feel good. Right now, after this wedding and feeling nothing but jealousy, I needed to feel love, even if it was an illusion.

It was becoming overwhelming. My stomach was tightening, the burn of my orgasm was growing hotter and hotter. I was close, too close, but I didn't want to come just yet. I wanted to come together with him, to help create that illusion that this was a night between two star crossed lovers. That perhaps this had been our wedding and we were warming up for the Honeymoon.

"W-wait-" I mumbled. Axel stopped, picked his head up and looked at me, studied me and questioned what it was I wanted. "I want…I need you. Inside me, please." My eyes were hooded over, I could feel the moisture on my lips. I arched my back suggestively, licked my lips seductively and pleaded with my eyes that he give me what I needed. And he seemed all too eager to comply.

He had to have come prepared, imagining that he would have found someone that he could have a fling with. He had lube, so my guess was that he wasn't picky on who he was going to sleep with. I considered myself lucky, glad that he was ready for sleeping with a man.

As he stripped his pants off, I moved, resting my head back on one of the pillows and spread my legs. My stomach was filled with butterflies, not because of nerves, but because I was going to do this with Axel. This had been one of my dreams since I was a teen. But feeling like it was an impossible feat, I had let it go. And I was never broken over it. It wasn't as though I had ever been in love with Axel. I just thought he was a cool guy, sexy and all that jazz and that sleeping with him would be amazing. And so far it was amazing. It's just that back then, and even now, I figured that once I had slept with Axel, my attraction would cool off and I'd be perfectly fine with having him as just an acquaintance, that I would no longer lust over him. It was the perfect plan. I could get rid of some of the pent up lust I've been suffering with, complete one goal that was long abandoned, and have no strings attached afterwards.

I was jolted by the first finger the circled my entrance before pushing in. "Cold!" I said, my eyes clenching shut.

"Sorry," he apologized. "Trust me," he practically groaned, "you'll warm it up in no time."

I almost wrinkled my nose to that, but right then he curled his finger, brushing the Sweet Spot within me, causing me to moan loudly. And unable to resist, I reached up, pulling him down and kissing him hard. I locked my arms around his neck, playing with the tendrils of hair as he worked to prepare me. As the second finger joined the first, I found myself thrusting down to meet them. It'd been so long since I felt this good, too long since I'd gotten so worked up over a temporary lover. It must have been just the fact that it was Axel. He must have been doing these things to me.

My hands traveled down his back, nails scrapping gently, encouragingly. My head was thrown back without thought as his third finger joined the fun and his lips ran over my chin, down the front of my throat where he nipped at my adam's apple. This I found to be very arousing.

Finally, when he pulled his fingers out he didn't do anything for a moment, only nuzzling my neck tenderly. This confused me and I was hard with need. I mewled lightly, signaling that I needed him inside me. But he still didn't move to do as I was asking. I felt his need too, his own member hard and hot against my thigh. What was he waiting for?

He moved, his head only, and rested his forehead against my own. I closed my eyes and smiled. This was the illusion I wanted. His lips, kissing me softly, mouth close, was the tenderness I was craving. But he could do this when we were actually fucking, couldn't he?

He kissed my forehead and said something that chilled the blood in my veins. "I love you, Roxie. I always have."

And as I was frozen with shock, he thrust into me, slowly at first, then impatiently he filled me to the hilt. That broke the shock embedded in me and I gasped, my mouth open wide in a silent cry. I felt my eyes roll back for a moment. The intrusion was uncomfortable at first, as it always is, and I had trained my body into relaxing quickly. I did as I knew to do; I let my mind go as blank as I could and my muscles responded, loosening. Above me, Axel was panting. I opened my eyes to see his own closed. "Tell me if you're hurting. I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm fine," I said. "Please…move." He complied, snapping his hips forward sharply. "Ah!" It felt good. It felt better than good, it felt amazing, otherworldly. We hadn't even gotten anywhere and I knew right away that this would have to be the best sex I've had in a long time. Corny as it sounded, we fit together good. Really good. His body molded tightly to mine, fitting like the missing piece to the puzzle. I couldn't help but think of that Ying-Yang that had been Riku and Sora. Right now, it was me and Axel that curled around each other, filling in all the gaps.

"Damn you're tight," he groaned. His thrusts were increasing in speed, his hips jerking forward harder, desperate. He grazed the spot he had found before, sending me arching off the bed, pressing my chest right against his. I tightened my arms around him and he did the same, his arms wrapped around my back and bringing me to him. He held me close, breathing and grunting into my neck as I kissed and bit his shoulder. My stomach was tightening again and I knew that I wouldn't be able to last long.

"Harder Axel, please, I'm close!"

He heard me, he did as I wanted. He kissed me on the lips, tongue seeking my own. He moved to grip my hips, sure to leave finger marks. It didn't matter, this was everything I needed. He was everything I needed, at least in this moment.

It stretched on for what felt like forever. Like the night was being ignored by us both and swiftly changing into dawn. But as I opened my eyes, the room was still dark as ever, the moon's light still reaching towards us, falling short at the end of the bed.

The thrusts against my prostate had me seeing stars and I clamped down onto Axel's shoulder as I orgasmed hard, making a mess of our stomachs. My muscles clenching around him must have driven him straight to the edge and he dove after me, coming inside of me. I felt the warmth and it wasn't until now that I realized that he had in fact put a condom on.

I'm normally useless after sex but I did have a good recovery time. My mind was bothering me though. As Axel cleaned himself and me as well, I was left to lay limp on the bed, continuously running over his confession in my head. He said he loved me. Was he joking? He had to be kidding. Funny, popular, amazing Axel could not have said something like that to me. But not only did he say that he loved me, he said he had for a long time? Like…how long? That just couldn't be it, he was pulling my leg. And this was suddenly bothering me too much. This was supposed to be a quick fling, a reliever. And suddenly Axel, not me, was making this seemingly difficult.

"Hey Rox," Axel said, sitting at the end of the bed. He was fishing through his over night bag. He pulled out flannel pants and started pulling them on. "What I said-"

'Oh good,' I thought. He was going to tell me he was kidding, or at least, to forget about it. Maybe it was best if we forgot about what we had just done too.

"-I really meant it."

Shit.

"I have to go," I said hurriedly. I stood up and searched for my clothes. "I uh, I have to work in the morning. I couldn't get a day off." A blatant lie, but I couldn't sit here and listen to his mush and possibly start to feel something for him. I knew those feelings wouldn't be true. I had already moved on from my silly crush on Axel, there was nothing there. An attraction, but that didn't constitute love.

"Want me to go with you? I know the ride is long, you shouldn't drive by yourself at night." I cursed that we both lived in student apartments. Granted, his was on a different block from mine, but still, it would be convenient for him to ride home with me.

"Don't you have your car here?" I asked, hoping that would work as an excuse to get him to stay.

"I rode with Riku. His folks were bringing me back to my apartment in the morning." He was ruining my escape. Curse him!

"I'll be fine. Really, I prefer driving alone. Gives me time to think." It was such a lame excuse, but I was hoping that my uncomfortable vibes were strong enough for him to stop and let me leave. I was dressed now. Car keys still in my pocket. That was it. I hadn't brought anything else.

I knew he wanted to say more. Something to convince me to stay, to convince me to let him come. I couldn't do it though. That's not how things were supposed to go.

I left the room. The door shut behind me, the sound heavy. I felt like that door right now. Shut off and heavy.

I practically ran (as best as I could after the sex) to my car.

Back in high school, Axel was known for having multiple flings. He was a fast paced guy, moving from one person to the next. This was mainly the reason I hadn't really gone for trying to sleep with him back then. He had been so occupied with his other company that I had never really seen the chance to do anything. I highly doubted I would have done anything anyway.

I think in the back of my mind, I had always wanted something lasting between us. I knew it was impossible for us to end up like Sora and Riku, but something meaningful would have been nice. Maybe because I knew that that hope was impossible did I convince myself that anything I felt for Axel was nothing special and would be easy to throw away. Whatever the reason, I had never felt the need to pursue him, despite Sora urging me to make a move.

He said he loved me. That just couldn't be right. It wasn't possible. He was always running around with someone, having a different lay every night of the week. He wasn't capable of loving someone with that lifestyle. He was in it for the pleasure and that was it. That's what tonight was. Axel must have read the need for love that I was feeling and had supplied an answer that I would have loved to hear, had it been truthful. A bad attempt at making me feel better, but at least he tried.

I just had to try and forget this ever happened, no matter how mind-blowing it had been. I didn't get laid tonight. I had left after giving my brother and new brother-in-law a hug, explaining to my parents that I had a terrible headache and decided to get home and rest before my school work ate me up. That's what happened.

I sighed, sitting on the couch in my small living area of my small apartment. Except now it felt all too huge. Sora had moved out of our apartment only three weeks ago and it was cold in here. It wasn't really any less crowding, but it was cold and it was lonely. I didn't like living on my own, but I didn't have anyone else to live with. I was on my own. My life in general was becoming much like my love life. Empty, lonely, non-existent. I lived a few hours away from my parents, Sora had moved in with Riku. There was no need for him to come visit me so often now that he had a husband. I was alone, plain and simple.

I curled up on my couch, the television flickering but I was blind to the displayed images. I retreated into my mind, for once feeling warm all over as I thought about what had happened tonight. I thought of what it would be like to accept Axel's words, to accept the love and have it be real, feel it surrounding me and making feel a little less lonely. As I fell asleep, I dreamed of what it would be like to actually be together with Axel. I'm pretty sure I really, really liked it.

A week later, I found myself doubting everything I had thought about Axel. I think I had been judging him by what I had remembered of him, and not what he had turned into now. Because apparently he hadn't dated anyone in a few months, hadn't had sex with anyone for over a month up until he and I had our fling, and apparently when we were in high school, he had fallen in love with me since we had met and that his abundant flings were him hoping to catch my attention.

I found all this out Saturday morning, one week after our night together, from Axel, not looking in my eyes, standing at my doorstep with a single rose in his hand. When he was done, he thrust the rose to me, grinned his cheeky grin and finally looked me in the eyes. I saw the sincerity. I was frozen all over again and I found I couldn't say anything. My first thought was that he could have picked a better time since I was standing in the open doorway in nothing but boxers that I had hastily thrown on since he had disturbed my shower. But that nagging that had been punching my brain the entire week was cheering and shoving and telling me that this was my chance to erase the loneliness with someone I actually cared about.

At least, if I did this, I could finally figure out my jumbled mess of feelings towards Axel. And looking at him, nervous (which just wasn't Axel at all), I was completely certain that he really did love me.

I sighed then, acting annoyed but feeling anything but and said, "Come in. I'll make some breakfast."

He smiled happily and entered my apartment. I shut the door behind me, the oak wood closing lightly.

[523 days later]

I loved him. I loved Axel. We'd been together for so long now, I was so happy. I wasn't lonely. I had found that my feelings for him were nothing that I had thought they were. I loved Axel and he loved me.

And on this day, he asked me to be the Yang to his Ying.

"Roxas, would you marry me?"

Finally I could be half of that chocolate dipped perfection.

"Yes, I'll marry you."

I know the ending is rushed, but it's actually how I wanted it to come out. I wanted the lemon to be the main dish since this is the Spicy to the Spicy and Sweet series. If you can count two oneshots a series :P

The "Sweet" is posted. Check my profile to read it. That'll be the fluffy one, no smut. Happy AkuRoku day and thanks for reading! Reviews are wanted!