If you're new, welcome! If you're familiar with the mess that I'm ashamed to call Next Chapter of Life, I'm sorry. I began this story feeling hopeful and excited- until I realized that I had completely screwed up chapter two. Then, after looking back, I realized that chapter one wasn't so hot, either. I never feel all that proud when it comes to my writing, but I was honestly so disappointed in myself and this piece of work, which drove me to not want to continue it. So that's why I haven't updated in half a year. I don't know why, but I got motivated to re-write this fanfic rather than abandon it, so here we are…
By the way, HUGE thanks to my girl Ana, aka the talented ohgodbomer here on fanfiction. She helped me SO much with re-writing these two chapters, so thanks Ana! You're an idea machine and ily.
Curiosity had killed the cat. Or in this case, curiosity had killed Aria Montgomery. At long last, the interest had worn her down, like water does rock. Aria had resisted temptation for years, trying not to let her indulgent side get the best of her. The more frivolous side of her won against the practical one in a drawn-out battle against herself, which is why she found herself at a dimly lit, low-ceilinged used bookstore on a warm May afternoon, rifling through the box marked "J". So far, Aria had not hit her jackpot and was beginning to grow impatient.
"Can I help you with anything?" Asked the only worker in the store, after noticing Aria's struggle.
This is some sort of sign, Aria thought to herself, If I can't find the stupid book, this means I shouldn't read it.
But you're IN the book, piped a small voice in the back of Aria's brain, You can't just not read it.
Aria blinked back to reality. "Yeah, hi, do you by any chance have the book Just Another Apple?"
The worker cringed, shaking her head.
"I figured as much," Aria offered.
"Let me look, there's bound to be a copy here somewhere. I'll only be a few minutes," Said the woman as she scurried into the depths of the quaint store.
As time normally slows when one is feeling anxious or impatient, the ten minutes this woman was away felt like ten hours for Aria.
Finally, the woman came back, battered novel in hand.
"This is all I could find," She said, holding out a tattered copy that looked a little too well-loved,with its frayed edges and many of the the yellowing pages were taped together as opposed to being bound together. "This copy is honestly so ridiculously worn out… here, have it for free." The woman halfheartedly handed the book over to Aria.
Aria reluctantly took the book and inspected its jacket, her heart thumping. Her eyes moved down the cover, eyeing the author's name written in bold print on the bottom, in a font size larger than the title itself, as if it was mocking her.
She couldn't do this. Aria wasn't ready to read the novel. She didn't need to open a floodgate of memories that she was making an effort to suppress and forget because remembering was far too painful.
Besides, did she really want to read a novel that was basically her ex-boyfriend's recount of their broken relationship? Aria already knew that he didn't love her anymore- he didn't have to say anything, but actions speak billions of decibels louder than words-but she was too faint of heart to want to read the details of precisely how her soulmate fell out of love with her. Her heart was already ripped to shreds; she didn't need to be the one lighting the match that would burn and further destroy the pieces.
Actually…" Aria began, staring down at the thick, paperback book in her hands, "I'm not sure if I want it. I'm so sorry for sending you on that wild goose chase."
"It's quite alright." Answered the perplexed woman, who attempted to be sympathetic but couldn't, due to her inability to understand Aria's capriciousness.
The woman and Aria both stood in silence, Aria staring at the book before her, the woman waiting for Aria to make a conclusive verdict on whether she would keep the book or not.
Aria honestly had no idea what to do. Here she was, standing in the middle of the bookstore, and she still could not bring herself to go through with taking the book, she couldn't cross the damn finish line.
Aria was thoroughly frustrated with playing tug-of-war with herself, especially because she knew that neither side would win.
She figured that she might as well just take the book and not commit to reading it. Even if she let the novel collect dust, at least she gave herself options.
Minutes passed until Aria remarked defiantly, more to herself than to the lady working at the bookstore,
"You know what? I'm just going to do it. I'll take the book!"
Aria grasped the book tightly and hurried out of the store before she could change her mind again and strolled back to her apartment. Aria had entered her small apartment and fell back onto her couch, novel in hand. She still couldn't believe that after all these years of holding her head high, after all this resistance, this stupid novel that she resented so much, the book that would always come back to haunt her, the book that made it impossible to forget, was now in her ownership.
She practically possessed a piece of him.
Holding this book was the closest Aria would ever come to holding him in her arms again, which wasn't necessarily something Aria wanted but it was certainly something she missed.
Aria threw the book on the shelf under the coffee table and commenced grading her seventh grade students' spelling tests, one of the last of the year.
Aria wasn't the biggest fan of her job as a seventh-grade English teacher at a public school, but she didn't hate it, and for her first teaching job, she considered herself to be lucky. Her main complaint was the age and maturity level of her students. She always wanted to teach high schoolers and she thought she was better suited towards teaching high school. However, her students weren't hard to handle, and compared to other New York public schools, the class sizes were on the smaller side.
After finishing her grading, Aria spent the rest of her Sunday creating a study guide for the final and watching old, black and white TV. Her new book remained untouched for the rest of the evening.
Months passed.
Just Another Apple was lost in the pile of books under her coffee table, not even in view. The book had been completely forgotten.
Aria Montgomery went about her daily life, working at a job that she didn't love and coming home to a quaint apartment that still felt lonely.
Despite these far-from-ideal conditions, Aria found happiness. Even though work wasn't something that she looked forward to every morning, she didn't hate her steady job. And even though she had no one in the city, her friends were only a short train ride away, and they saw each other often. Aria thanked her lucky stars and thought of herself as fortunate. Most people fall out of touch with their high school friends, but Aria and her best friends' bond was strong enough to survive the separation that college entailed.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. This saying rings true for the first few months after someone leaves you, years if you're Aria Montgomery. Eventually, though, absence makes the heart forget. Aria was content with her life and didn't miss her ex-boyfriend that much anymore simply because ten years without him caused Aria to forget what life was like when she had him.
One day, though, on a humid August afternoon, Aria remembered. She was cuddled on her couch, sipping iced coffee and reading a thin book of short stories, the local alternative radio playing as background music. This was normal for Aria, and the woman was clueless to the fact that moments later would be the start of a domino effect that would cause her entire life to deviate from it's course. The radio station began playing commercials, and Aria snapped to attention. Aria was able to tune out the soft radio when the music was playing ,but once the commercials began, it was the only thing she could focus on, serving as a major distraction. Without thinking, Aria turned the dial to the soft- rock station and immediately recognized the all too familiar lyrics playing on the radio.
Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that's enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar
Aria immediately froze. B-26. She could feel the tears forming in her eyes, but she would not allow herself to cry. She was stronger than that… wasn't she? The lump in her throat made it hard to swallow. Aria tried to get back into her original position, engulfed in her blanket, but she could not get comfortable again. She picked up her book and tried to continue reading, but something in the back of her mind was tugging at her, whispering to her that she should be reading a different book. His book. Aria let the song finish, and even though the music faded out, the emotions it brought back refused to leave her. Aria finally decided to rifle through the shelf under her coffee table, searching the pile of books, magazines, and memories she'd rather forget, until she found the book that was falling apart. She finally decided to read it, not sure of what to expect. She opened the novel warily, slowly turning each page. Aria flipped past the dedication, but then flipped back, because it caught her eye.
To A.M,
I need you to know that I haven't given up on us.
He had dedicated the book to her.
Well, fuck.
Aria hadn't even started chapter one, yet she was already crying.
Aria read on about how a curly-haired man in his early twenties had gone to a college bar, how a wide-eyed, stunning woman with a childlike innocence had caught his eye. Aria continued to read, biting back the tears. It was no use. Aria had already turned into a human waterfall after she had barely made a dent in the long, emotional novel. The yellowed, torn pages of the worn-out book were now stained with tears.
What sucked so much was that the book was beautiful. It was honestly perfect. Aria couldn't have told their story better herself. But that was what killed her. The book discussed her, and the times they shared, with great fondness, but Aria knew that the author was just embellishing the truth for the sake of better writing. Aria would rather know the heart-wrenching truth than read the beautiful lies.
Aria was an avid, passionate reader, someone who could finish novels in one sitting if she was determined could get through books very quickly, simply because she read whenever she got the chance. However, Just Another Apple took her months to read. She would read the book sporadically, but then eventually have to put it down because it was just too much to handle, and her tears clouded her vision. One Sunday in late November, she picked up the book again, flipping to where she left off, just more than halfway through the novel. She turned the page, realizing that the paper wasn't bound to the book. She let go, letting the page flutter the ground. Aria realized that the ripped page after it was only bound to the book in one page, so she tore it out as well. Then the next page. Then the page after that. Before Aria knew what she was doing, the human geyser had become a human hurricane.
Without knowing why, she grabbed another handful of papers and ripped them out of the book. Aria was a petite, thin young woman who wasn't too keen on any sort of physical activity, but at that moment, she felt like the Hulk—enraged and strong. Her newly acquired sense of empowerment drove her to tear out another section, more vigorously this time.
"That is for leaving me!" She screamed as the papers fluttered helplessly to the ground. She continued to deface the story, shouting, "And that was for ending our story!" as she angrily stomped on the papers on the floor, squishing them like a child does ants.
She stared at the floor, wiping her eyes and suddenly regretting what she had done. She had destroyed the only piece of him she had left.
But he had destroyed their love.
Aria felt the destruction of this book symbolized her relationship. She needed to just let it go. Yet, as Aria grabbed the fallen papers and brought them to the recycling bin, she couldn't bring herself to open her hand and let the papers fall in. Instead, she hastily stuffed them into her closet. Aria plopped back down on her couch, not sure if she felt empowered and in control, or if she regretted her decision to deface the book.
A month passed, more or less. Aria wasn't exactly sure why, but this Friday was a half day for the students as well as many of the teachers, her included. Aria walked out of the school building, appreciating the brisk November weather. She breathed in the cool, New York air, and then coughed it back out, as it was polluted from the smoke from cigarettes and hot dog vendors. She strolled with an unusual skip in her step. the leaves crunching under her feet. She was an independent woman, living on her own in the city, working at a job she felt lucky to have, her closest friends living relatively nearby.
But where was he?
Shortly after Aria had moved to New York, she pulled a Spencer Hastings, searching relentlessly for information, following any lead she had, and expanding her sources so they reached further than the internet. There was hardly any information about Ezra that had nothing to do with Just Another Apple, which was a topic she simply wanted to block out of her mind.
days of searching online, she never did find out. But did his fleeing make her life better or worse? Maybe it was the lack of closure that is what kept her clinging on, kept her from forgetting. Or maybe she just never fell out of love.
She walked to Bigelow's, her little corner of paradise. It was a cozy, relaxing bookstore and coffee shop combined into one. She planned on grabbing a book or two, then a coffee, reading her new books in the coffee shop. She noticed a table displaying classic novels, buy one get one half off. It was a good deal, so Aria scanned the display, realizing that there wasn't a novel on this table that she didn't already have in her collection. Aria wandered to the back of the store, looking for a poetry book. Aria found three books to buy, so she purchased them, and then walked to the coffee shop section of the store. No sooner had she entered the coffee shop when she was practically confronted with a giant sign with a very familiar face on it. "Today and Tomorrow only!" it read, "get your copy of Just Another Apple signed and listen to a book talk given by the author!" Aria's heart froze. The fact that he could be here didn't quite register with Aria, which was why she didn't dart out of the small store in order to avoid him. When it came to fight or flight, Aria always chose the latter. But this time, Aria let her feet stay planted, mainly because she didn't quite realize what not leaving meant. Aria got in line for coffee when she heard a velvety, guttural voice that had been music to her ears years ago.
She must have been hearing things.
Life split them apart. There was never any hope for a reunion.
Yet… here he was, shockingly enough.
No, it was too cliché to be true. Seeing his face on the poster reminded Aria of how he looked; she was just imagining her long lost love standing in front of her.
The man turned and sat at a table, giving Aria the perfect profile view of him.
It was true, it was him.
Aria still believed her eyes were deceiving her.
However, now was the chance to speak up, or else he might disappear again. But did Aria really want him back?
Aria suddenly heard a voice. She realized it was her own. She silently berated herself for speaking without thinking.
Aria Montgomery had uttered one solitary word. This single proper noun had the power to drastically alter fate. And it did.
"Ezra?"
So I know this was sloppy and hastily written, which kind of defeats the purpose of re-writing this fanfiction, but I'm leaving for overnight camp in a few days, and I wanted to put something up before I left for a month.
Twitter: OhHale2theNo