I don't own these characters
TOW Phoebe's wedding
Just another Mondler orientated scene filler set just after Phoebe fires Monica from being her wedding planner at the rehearsal dinner
Scene: at the rehearsal dinner, Monica's at the bar
Monica: another scotch on the rocks please
Chandler: hey here you are . . . drowning your sorrows?
Monica: hey I've just been fired, that basically means I lost
Chandler: I think it was more like you were disqualified
Monica: then that means I didn't follow the rules and I always follow the rules! Are you trying to upset me?
Chandler: fine whatever makes you happy imagine I said that . . . uh how many drinks have you had ?
Monica: the number isn't relevant
Chandler: I can't believe you can even drink that stuff, scotch is such an old man drink
Monica: yea I picked it up from Richard
Chandler: really so Richard and you would drink scotch together and smoke cigars
Monica: we'd drink scotch and he'd smoke cigars
Chandler: straight scotch please my good barman!
Monica: sweetie that drink might be too strong for you, I mean remember when you tried to drink Jack Daniels
Chandler: no
Monica: well my family does because you were wasted . . . at the new years eve party
Chandler: oh yea, wow your Aunt was really mad
Monica: well vomit isn't easy to get out of your poodle's fur, so no scotch
Chandler: I'm just as manly as Richard (throws back the drink) ahhhhhhh water please it burns!
Rachel: what did he do now?
Monica: scotch
Rachel: Chandler you can't drink manly drinks, hello do you not remember when you drank Jack Daniels?
Chandler: were you even there
Monica: there's a video . . . hey did you talk to Phoebe?
Rachel: yes and she asked me to inform you that not only are your wedding planner duties not required tomorrow but also your bridesmaid duties are not needed
Monica: she's taking me out of the wedding!
Chandler: see its not a nice feeling to be left out (Ross, Phoebe & Joey walk up to them)
Phoebe: hello Rachel, hello Chandler, hello Joey, hello
Ross: we get it Pheebs you're not talking to Mon
Phoebe: oh look at this another Gellar trying to control my wedding! What is it Ross, do you want to marry Mike
Chandler: that would mean you'd be a part of the ceremony
Ross: true (thinking about it) nah he's not really my type, I like em' rugged . . . if I were gay, barman scotch over here please
Chandler: I swear if Ross can drink scotch and I can't (Ross starts gagging after drinking it) and the universal order is restored
Phoebe: Rachel have you made your bridesmaid decision about Chandler and Ross?
Rachel: I've made the decision not to decide
Monica: hey Phoebe I know a great way to help you decide
Phoebe: Monica when hell freezes over I will inform you if I want your 'help' but until then don't open your mouth around me when its MY WEDDING
Joey: wait if Monica isn't a bridesmaid then you don't need an extra best man because he'd have no one to walk up the aisle with
Chandler: uh he's right, Mr. Buffay is so fricking right!
Joey: hey thats Mr. Buffay senior!
Rachel great then my job is done for me, thanks Mr. Buffay
Joey: you're welcome sweet cheeks, you know there's no rule against the father of the bride sleeping with the bridesmaid (Mike's dad overhears this)
Mike's dad: there isn't! (to Rachel) I'm Mr. Hanningan, I don't believe we've been introduced
Scene: Monica & Chandler's, they enter
Monica: right before I go to bed I have to check the guest room's all ready for Phoebe to sleep there tonight
Chandler: you think she'll still want to after what happened
Monica: sweetie this is all going to blow over and by tomorrow I'll be back in the wedding party because I'm not liking being in the group of 'guests only' to this thing
Chandler: I'm in that group!
Monica: I never said I didn't like you (Rachel enters) where's Phoebe?
Rachel: she wanted to spend her last of night of singledom with Joey
Chandler: ew he's her fake dad!
Rachel: look Mon Phoebe is really mad at you and I didn't want to stress her out further so I offered her to stay in my bed and I'll stay here, it'll be great like when you guys were first going out and I lived here only Chandler should be able to store his underwear in his own bedroom this time and not out in the living room!
Monica: what! No! I don't want you, this guest room should be used for special people like brides not bridesmaids!
Rachel: well you should have thought of that before you went all 'Monica' at the dinner
Monica: being all 'Monica' gets things done, right Chandler
Chandler: well . . .
Monica: Chandler!
Chandler: I can kind of see where Phoebe is coming from because you were a little controlling and condescending and although you sometimes do that to me I'm more laid back then Phoebe and don't mind it too much because you give me control in other ways
Rache: (intrigued) oh what ways?
Chandler: bedroom mostly . . . Mon are you still talking to me?
Monica: oh sorry am I allowed open my mouth!
Chandler: sweetie if this was your wedding you'd probably be acting worse than Phoebe
Rachel: digging a hole Bing, you're digging a hole
Chandler: look just see this from Phoebe's point of view
Monica: I was only trying to help
Chandler: yes and you can still help just maybe dial down the help a couple of notches
Monica: you're all ganging up on me! Is this to get into the wedding, fine Chandler take my place as the bridesmaid!
Chandler: Mon don't be silly
Monica: goodnight! (she goes into the bedroom)
Chandler: Mon! (tries to open the door) Mon open the door come on, I don't want to sleep on the couch tonight
Monica: hey double bed in the next room with Rachel, since you've already betrayed me what harm could a little affair do!
Rachel: I don't want to be some sexual pawn to you two!
Scene: guest room, Rachel & Chandler are in the same bed on the opposite sides
Chandler: this feels so weird
Rachel: I know, and not in a good way because I've slept with Monica's boyfriends before and it did not feel this weird
Chandler: hey there will only be literal sleeping in this bed, no 'sleep with', screwing, canoodling of any kind (there's a knock on the door) hello?
Monica: hey I was just checking on you guys
Chandler: (raising his hands) look see there's nothing happening under the covers, I've been faithful the whole time
Monica: I figured as much since you're a bit of a loud one and I didn't hear anything happening
Rachel: so have you cooled down a bit?
Monica: hey I'm not here for forgiveness . . . I think the heater's broken in our room and you don't want me to get a cold do you!
Chandler: well no of course not . . . do you want to get in to this bed?
Monica: well since you asked (she gets in between them)
Rachel: ok now I feel really uncomfortable, everyone please keep there hands above the covers, that goes for you especially Bing
Monica: um and listen I suppose I'm sorry for acting completely crazy and mean and being horribly stubborn and I guess I was a little bit too controlling
Chandler: that's great Mon but that speech is probably better directed at Phoebe not us
Monica: (yawning) can I direct it at her tomorrow morning
Chandler: yes I think that's ok (they kiss)
Rachel: ew guys!
Monica: oh and Chandler you don't really think I'm this controlling wife do you?
Chandler: most of the time you're not
Monica that's good enough for me (they kiss)
Rachel: what did I say!
Chandler: so no kissing then?
Rachel: no kissing!
Chandler: what if its between you and Monica? (they both throw pillows at him)
Right that's it, I may continue it if that's what the peoples want, R&R pretty please