My father never wanted me. Not really. He always said that he loved me, but I knew
otherwise. Everyone knew that he wanted a son, a man who could take his place when he
died, who would follow in his pathetic footsteps. At least my mother truly loved me
and doted upon me. She spent the most time with me growing up, and I could tell that she
enjoyed being in my company.
As I got older, my father sent me away for a while. I suppose he was tired of seeing the face
of a daughter rather than the face of a son. Every time he saw me, I reminded him that he would
never have a son, since my mother had a very hard time bearing children. It's actually a miracle
that I lived; all my brothers and sisters died before they could be born properly.
My father went on to break my poor mother's heart by calling their marriage "unclean", since
she was his brother's widow. I know why he left her though: it was because he wanted a woman
who could give him sons. That's all he really cared about, was having a son. Women were
nothing to him.
I, of course, grew to hate my father. He was vile and selfish. Then he married that other
woman, and I was announced an illegitimate child, which stripped me of my title. This only
furthered my hatred for my father and his new wife. I laughed when she gave birth to another
daughter because I knew that he would be so grief-stricken to have another girl. I hate her
as well, my half-sister, as she came to take on my previous title. I refused to acknowledge either
her or her mother. It was all so unfair.
I didn't speak to my father for three years after some particularly nasty arguments with him.
As punishment, he wouldn't allow me to see my mother, even though she and I were both sick.
She died, and I was never able to say goodbye to her. This I could never forgive my father for.
My dad eventually got tired of his new wife, so he killed her off and married a new one,
causing my half-sister to be demoted just like I had been. This new wife had kind intentions, and
I didn't hate her quite as much as the last one. She tried to get my dad to reconcile with me, so he
bullied me into it, once again furthering my hatred for him. His new wife bore him a son, but
died in the process. They made me his god-mother and I was only a small bit sorry for the
passing of his mother. She had been a bearable woman…more bearable than my father at least,
though that's not saying much.
Later on in his miserable life, my dad gave my half-sister and me back our titles, then finally
died. His ridiculous son succeeded him. I never liked either him or my half-sister. They seemed
to be the best of friends, excluding me from everything. I was the strange Catholic sister, who
was quiet and seemingly stuck-up because of it.
I despised the religion of my father. He used it as an excuse to act in the awful ways he did,
and any religion that allowed that should not be tolerated. My brother and sister both followed
his religion, and I despised them both for it. They were so cruel to me for following the religion
of my mother.
So who can blame me for the way I have acted since finally taking my place as Queen of
England after my sickly brother Edward died? My whole family hates me, and I hate them all
right back. I will not let Protestantism run wild, just as my father Henry did. It is sickening to
see, and it must be stopped. These rebellious citizens do not obey my laws, and my own sister
Elizabeth is on their side. Disobedience is not something that can be tolerated. As ruler of a
country, it is my duty to punish those who go against me. If that punishment involves death,
there is nothing I can do to stop it. I must consistently follow the laws of our land, or else I will
lose the respect of my subjects.
So you see, what I've done isn't wrong. It is a result of years of being unwanted, hated, and
ignored. I am completely alone, without a friend in the world. No one but my mother ever
showed me true kindness and love, but she died a long time ago. No one loves me, so I love no
one else. I am in power, and I will stop at nothing to have people respect and revere me. If they
will not love me, then they will have to fear me.