The slap of my hand connecting with Effy's face did nothing to dull my pain.
It had been one day since I had taken the call that had nearly killed me, the call that told me that Naomi, my best friend and love had terminal cancer. I had collapsed onto the floor sobbing, praying that this was a sick joke of Effy's, but I knew, when I heard her voice waver on the other end that what she said was true.
I had mumbled something about getting the next flight to London to Effy. Then I hung up. Then I screamed. I lay on the cold floor in a ball crying with agony and as the tears streamed down my face, I thought about Naomi, about how strong and stubborn and what a fighter she was and I knew that she would never give up. My Naomi was a fighter so she would live, she would make it. Who cares if the doctors said it was terminal, they didn't know Naomi like I did, they didn't know her strength and with that I had picked myself up and booked the next flight ticket.
The taxi ride from the airport was unbearable. I couldn't look at Effy. How could she have taken this time with Naomi away from me? How could she be so fucking selfish? I felt her piercing blue eyes looking at me and I turned to face her just as the cabbie stopped.
"This is where you wanted right love?" he asked; and then, "The hospital?" when I didn't reply.
"Yeah, thanks." I muttered. As I got out of the taxi I looked up at the tall imposing building of the London Hospital. How many people were in there right now facing the worst moment of their lives? Naomi was in there somewhere, probably wanting to smoke a joint. This thought made me start to smile but then the tears started to form in my eyes. Damn I should have stopped her smoking those joints.
"Emily, um she's on the fourth floor, ward 3 in the Oncology Unit." Effy's voice cut icily through my thoughts and finally, I turned to face her.
"How could you not fucking tell me Effy?" I whispered now through tears.
"She made me promise Em. She didn't want to ruin you internsh-"
"SHIT, YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT THAT? I FUCKING LOVE HER AND NOW SHE'S, SHE'S…" I looked away. I couldn't bring myself to say the word. Come on Fitch it won't come to that, it can't, it can't…
"I'll never forgive you Effy." I gasped through the lump in my throat. "You didn't deserve the time you had with her. You stole that time from me."
At least Effy Stonem had the decency to look ashamed. Taking several deep breaths to try and regain some sense of calm I turned and walked into the building of now, my worst nightmare.