Authors Note; So I was thinking as I was trying very hard not to fall asleep during Algebra. And I got to thinking, so this is what happened when I came home.
"Daddy buy me that...I want that...if you buy me that I'll never ask for another thing as long as I live. I swear daddy. Please. Please daddy."
"No daddy...I changed my mind...I want that. Can I have that? Please? Please, please, please, I want that. I don't wanna go to college. College is for poor people. You could buy me that instead."
Red listened to his daughter beg and plead and never once grew annoyed or impatient. He was well aware of the rationing process of a eight year old girl. It wasn't as often as he liked that he got to spend time with his children, so he listened to her beg and plead as they walked past the jewelry counter of the mall.
It was Christmas and heavily decorated.
The mall was crowded past what should have been a safe number of people.
Yet Red didn't care, he was with his daughter and son, Bethany and Caleb, both were under ten at eight and three. Both were too young to know the evils of the world. Both were far too young to see him as anything but Daddy. Both were still innocent and trusting and that scared the hell out of Red.
His son was strapped to his chest in a baby carrier, and his daughter was always within arms reach, never far from his sight. His ex-wife called him paranoid, said the children needed to grow up without fear, they needed to not be sheltered and understand; Red didn't want his children to see what he saw, he would shelter and protect them as much as he could.
While he heard every last word from his daughters mouth, he watched could retrace every last one of her steps, hops, and leaps from the car, through the parking lot, and into the mall. He also noticed every last person who looked at her, old and young, male and female, he looked at everyone as if they were a danger.
"Daddy I love you, please please please please, I'll never ask for anything ever again."
The blue eyed red headed girl looked up at her father, still in her winter coat and Uggh boots, "Daddy?"
Playing the Santa Card, Red gave her a smile, "Well sweetie, if I buy you that necklace what will Santa get you?"
Bethany thought about it, she tugged on her red hair, then told her father, "A pony."
Noticing the group of teenagers approaching, Red never took his eyes off his daughter. "Where are you going to put a pony? The neighborhood mom lives in doesn't allow large animals. The apartment I live in is too small for a pony."
Bethany tilted her head in confusion while her brother reached for a brochure on the glass topped counter. "But Uncle Silk lives there and he has a pony."
A similar look of confusion crossed Red's face, "What? Uncle Silk doesn't have a pony."
The group of teenagers passed harmlessly.
"Uh-huh, he and Uncle Lake were talking about his pony earlier today. Amy, his pony. Last night he went riding on his pony. All night."
Inwardly kicking himself for leaving the two men to watch his daughter while he checked his son's diaper, it had been for a matter of minutes at lunch. Yet his daughter had picked up far too much knowledge. So Red nodded, "Right. Yes. Uncle Silk has a pony...named Amy. But Amy lives in her own stables, private stables."
"Oh..." Bethany sighed, then she brightened up, "Maybe Santa will get me Malibu Barbie's Vacation home in Cancun?"
"Maybe," Red smiled.
While Bethany turned her attention back to the jewelry counter, and Caleb found unlimited amusment by sucking on his fathers waterproof watch, Red quickly looked around the mall. Taking in everyone that he spotted. Determining if they were a danger or not, whether they posed a threat to his children or not.
"Daddy can we go look at the toy store?"
Red gave his daughter a rare true smile, "Sweetie, we have the entire weekend before daddy has to go back to work. We can go wherever you want...just not your grandmothers house...Daddy would loose whats left of his mind."
Bethany reached up and took her fathers strong and calloused hand, her own hands were in knitted purple mittens. Ignorant of the strength hidden in her fathers hands. Ignorant of what his hands did when he was out working. Ignorant of just how deadly his hands could be. She began to skip and hop in no particular pattern across the smooth floor. Oblivious to her fathers watchful gaze.
It wasn't something she noticed until she was much older, until she understood what he did when he was gone for months at a time.
They came to the main section of the mall, out of JcPenny, and Bethany looked up at her father and smiled.
It both warmed him and terrified him.
Her smile was trusting. Innocent. Loving. It made him smile and made him want to cry in frustration. He loved his children unconditionally. But, the more he saw, the more he did, the more he traveled, the more he lost all faith in humanity.
She continued to hop and skip as he kept his eyes alert. Watching for danger that could be anywhere, come from any direction.