Sam: Tell Cas you love him. Please. The eye sex is getting really fucking annoying now.
Dean: Dude. Stop texting me. You're in the freaking room next to me.
Sam: Are you really going to respond if I speak to you about this?
Dean: ...Well, no.
Sam: That's what I thought.
Dean: Anyway, haven't we had this conversation before?
Sam: No?
Dean: It's ... it's different now that he's human... I can't explain why man.
Dean: I do love him. I know you know I do. But I can't tell him that.
Dean: Do you understand me brother?
Sam: No, he's still Cas and you still love him. He loves you. I don't see why him being human has anything to do with it. If anything, it's easier now he's not an angel.
Dean: Yes, it makes it easier. But it also makes it more real.
Sam: So real that you have to do it?
Dean: So real that's its fucking terrifying.
Sam: That's what love is.
Dean: You know what, Sam, I've spent all my life fighting demons and vampires, and Death himself but this is easily the most terrifying thing I have encountered.
Sam: Dean, you have to man up.
Dean: Are you questioning my manliness?
Sam: Cas is too scared to do it himself. Or maybe he doesn't know he's in love with you, but he's not going to do it, so you have to.
Dean: Fuck it. You're right Sam. I know you are.
Sam: Thank you! I always thought so.
Dean: You know me better than I know myself Sammy.
Dean: Where has the little fallen angel gotten to anyway?
Sam: In his room?
Dean: I...he's probably sleeping..
Sam: Go! Now!
Dean: Damn it!
Sam: I will literally beat you if you do not go right now.
Sam heard a crash from the room next to his - the sound of Dean's phone being thrown to the ground in defeat. Dean marched out of his room and headed for Cas'. Sam chucked and called out "Go get em tiger!"
His voice, thankfully, did not carry into the room where Cas was rested. He was staring at the ceiling, meditating. It was something that relaxed him. He did it in the middle of the day when there was nothing to do.
Outside, Dean knocked softly on Cas' door. A small part of him hoped that Cas was indeed sleeping so he could avoid the confrontation a little bit longer. The other part of Dean - the larger part that drove his every desire and made his heart beat so frantically - urged him to burst into Cas' room and confess his true feelings. "Cas?" He whispered from the other side of the door.
Cas blinked in surprise. "Hello, Dean. You may come in if you want." He said. Dean hardly ever came into his room.
"Hey bud." Dean said, awkwardly brushing the sweat off his palms onto his jeans. He sat on the bed beside Cas. "I - ah - I came to tell you something."
Cas got nervous because he could tell Dean was. "Is everything alright?" He asked. "Are you going to ask me to leave?" He asked suddenly.
"Oh god no Cas! Of course not." Dean pressed his face into his palms, shaking his head. "You never have to fear such a thing, okay. You're family now."
Cas nodded and smiled. "Okay, Dean. What did you want to tell me?" He asked, a bit happier now.
Dean gulped. "Cas, this isn't easy for me to say. And I think you understand that, because I think you've found it difficult too." Dean paused, looking into Castiel's blue eyes. "But I fucking love you man."
Cas's eyes widened and then squeezed shut in pain. "Don't say things you don't mean, Dean." He said softly, eyes still closed.
"No." Dean reached forward, sliding his hand under Castiel's jaw. "Cas. Please. Open your eyes. Look at me, please." Cas refused, shaking his head as a small tear rolled down his cheek. "Cas..." Dean leaned forward and gently kissed away the tear on Castiel's face.
"Dean, you don't love me. I'm broken." He spat out the word in disgust. "And I can't be fixed." His voice was strained and painful.
"You are not broken. You are - You're beautiful Cas." A warm smile flickered at the corner of Dean's mouth. "Don't you ever think you are undeserving, Castiel."
Cas leaned into Dean sobbing. "I don't want to be human. I don't want to be here. I want my family." He cried. "I loved each and every one of them as much as you loved Sam. They were my family. Sometimes they didn't deserve it, but I loved them. I did." He held on to Dean tightly and didn't let go.
"Hey, hey. It's okay." Dean ran his fingers through Castiel's hair, enveloping him tighter. Despite his heart beating painfully within his chest, Dean still felt unsure about touching Cas. It felt surreal. "I am so sorry, Cas. I wish I could take all your pain away. I wish you could find some form of home here, with us."
Cas looked up at Dean through tear stained eyes. "You are my family, too. This is my home, not heaven. He leaned in close to Dean, but thought better of it and drew away and sat on his bed, arms wrapped around himself.
"For a little guy, Cas, you sure have a tremendous heart. You care so much." Dean laid down on the bed beside him. "You see the pain in everything. And I know how its corrupts you. 'Cause it has destroyed me as well."
Cas shook his head fervently. "I think you are perfect."
Dean chuckled. "Right back at you man."
Cas wrapped his arm around Dean and tried to fall asleep, cuddling him. They had done it before on the couch, but it was a little different. He waited until he thought Dean was asleep but then he whispered. "I know I can't, but I love you too. Always have. Always will" he smiled and tired to go to sleep.
Dean, who was pretending to be asleep, smiled gently. He pulled Cas closer and whispered into his ear "Sleep well my fallen angel."
