They laid there, silent, starring up at the night sky. A light fog covered the area, giving the allusion of floating on a cloud. There was a calmness that seemed to settle over them with the fog. His hand moved across the ground searching for hers. Grabbing hold he pulled it close to him, giving it a soft squeeze. He loved nights like this. Nights when Kahlan would lower her guard to him. Aloow him to touch her, be near her. They rarely came after he lost control of his anger. He had frightened her. He had frightened himself.
They remained that way for several minutes before she rolled onto her side, facing him. He turned his head slowly, trying to saver the moment coming. They starred at eachother. Talking without words. A smile crossed both their lips after a moment, causeing them to let out a soft laugh. A loud snore from Zedd cause them to laugh harder, Kahlan put her free hand over her mouth to keep from waking him and Cara. "We should get some sleep." she said when she managed to stop laughing as hard. Nodding, Richard pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head.
The morning cam too quickly. Richard woke to the sounds of an angery wizard. "What's wrong Zedd?" Zedd looked over at his grandson and smiled "Morning my boy! Glad to see you're up!" Richard, confused at his sudden mood change, simply nodded and looked around. "Whare's Cara and Kahlan?" That seemed to remind the old man he was upset. "They left for food ages ago!" Richard laughed knowing that they probably haven't been gone long at all, but Zedd was too hungry to notice. The fog was still there, so Richard knew that it would be hard for them to see the game.
It wasn't much longer when, Kahlan and Cara emerged with several rabbits. Richard had been surprised to see Kahlan spending more time with Cara. Talking to her. Walking beside her when they would travel. It amazed him how strong she was being. Giving Cara a second chance after she killed her sister. "It's about time!" Zedd said taking the rabbits from Kahlan "What took you so long?" "You try hunting in this fog." Cara said as she sat down beside him and handed him her knife.
While they ate, the fog started to lift. They ate mostly in silence with the few exceptions of Zedd asking them if they were going to finnish their food. Richard and Kahlan would cath eachothers glanses and stare until one of them thought someone would notice. He couldn't stop thinking about her. The way her body felt against his. The steady beat of her heart. He watched as she ate, taking in every move she made. She tried to force herself not to look up. She knew she'd meet his eyes. Everytime she looked into them, she'd melt. All sence of reason would flee her.
Cara watched them, her eyes slowly moving from one to the other. She found it funny at first. They thought they were fooling them. Then she grew concerned. Cara knew that Richard's love for Kahlan was growing at a fast pace and soon it would destroy them both. The small smiles that would cross their lips when they'd look at eachother. The way he would watch her as she did pretty much anything. He was going to destroy himself and she was allowing it. She was supposed to be protecting him. That's what she was going to do.
They didn't waste anytime. After they were all done, hey packed up and started off. Richard walked with Zedd, leading the way. Kahlan and Cara following at their own pace. "Should Richard have the sword?" Cara asked starring up at Richard "He is the Seeker." Kahlan said softly "He is a Rahl." Kahlan looked to Cara as they continued to walk. "He's still Richard." Cara turned to face her "Is he? He tried to kill you. Would your Richard do that?" Kahlan looked ahead at he men as she thought. "He wouldn't hurt you." Cara said beofer Kahlan could answer. "It changes him." Kahlan said barely loud enough for her to hear. Cara studdied her face for a few seconds. "You think he will be able to controle it next time?" Kahlan looked back up to Richard "He can do anything."
Cara stopped walking "It's not safe for you to be close to him." Kahlan stopped and turned back "I saw you two last night." She didn't respond, She couldn't understand why Cara was trying to protect her. It was not she, she had swore to protect. She had no obligation to her. "He cares for he were to hurt you, he would never forgive himself. He'd drown himself in his own misery. He would fail his quest." Now it made sence. "Richard would never stop his quest." Cara took a step closer to Kahlan "For you he would." Cara continued walking, passing Kahlan, she quickened her pace to catch up with Richard and Zedd. "Why would you doubt him now?" Kahlan asked turning to follow her. "Because now we know that it angers him. It angers him that he can't be with you."
Kahlan stopped moving Cara took a few steps before stopping as well. Turning slowly she took in a deep breath, preparing herself for what Kahlan would say. Kahlan opened her mouth, but couldnt get herself to make words. They stood there for a few moments before Kahlan finally spoke. "You're right." Cara tilted her head at the sound of those words coming from her. "You have to do something." Cara said after a moment of taking in her small victory. "You have to let him go." Turning, cara started off again, leaving Kahlan standing there. Thinking. Cara was right. How could she have let it get this far? She has to let him go. Even if it would crush her.
"You've been quiet." Zedd said leaning over to Kahlan. "Have I?" He nodded "I'm sorry. I..." she seemed to disapear into her thoughts. He watched her for a minute, while she gathered her thoughts. "Zedd... I'm worried about Richard." she turned to him, he eyes filled with deep pain. "As am I." he leandforward resting his elbows on his knees. "What he said when you asked him what angered him..." "Kahlan, there is nothing you can do about that." She closed her eyes and ran her hands over her knees. "You can not simply tell him not to love you and he stop. His feelings for you are too strong. He will learn to controle it." Her eyes opened "How can I expect him to controle it when... when it angers me too?"
She turned, facing him, trying to make him understand. "I have never wanted to be with anyone as I do Richard... I care for him so much that it hurts and I can't stop being selfish enough to let him go." Zedd reached over and placed his hand on her shoulder, trying to steady her. "Even if you could. He couldn't...wouldn't let you go. I've watched the two of you. Your love for the other is a pain you both must bare. For you two, there is no letting go." He smiled and pulled his hand back. "You should probably stop sleeping so close." He gave a small laugh at her surprised face. "That may help some."
Richard studdied the tracks on the ground, trying to track the deer. Cara walked around him, stepping onto the tracks. "If you're not going to help..." He looked up at her, smiling. "You want my help? Let Kahlan go," He starred at her. "No." she took a step back and turned her back to him. "No? That's what you say?" he stood, slowly. "No." Cara turned back to him, "You risk her life." "Cara..." She took a step closer to him "Do you not remember? You already almost killed her. Or does that memory slip your mind?" Richard ran his fingers through his hair. "I couldn't stop myself." "You couldn't stop yourself. She can't stop herself. You have no chance. You risk killing her every time your near her," He pulled his sword and tossed it to the ground. "Then I wont hold it!" Cara shook her head "You think just because you throw down your sword, that you've made everything okay?" She picked up the sword and handed it to him. "With or without this, you can't protect her." He starred at her hand, holding the swod out for him. "If it looks like Ill hurt her... stop me." "That's what I'm trying to keep you from doing." He reached out and took his sword and placed it back at his side.
Richard and Cara walked into view, Richard carried a small deer as Cara had two rabbits. The look on Richard's face told Kahlan that he had talked with Cara. The pain in his eyes, swept through her causeing her to quickly glace away to the ground. Throughout dinner, Richard and Kahlan tried to avoid eye contact. Both would watch the other as they ate, until they looked up. Most of the night was silent, but everyone in a while, Zedd would ask a question that required Richard, Kahlan or both to answer. Kahlan, who was sitting by Zedd, sat with her back to Zedd, starring out into the night. Zedd watched her carefuly, switching his gaze from her to Richard every few minutes. Richard was sitting in front of Cara, pulling pieces of bark off a stick while Cara talked softly to him.
She laid awake, listening to the sounds of the night. The night was much colder without Richard laying beside her. Holding her tightly against him. Rolling onto her side, she squeesed her eyes shut, trying to force herself to sleep. She longed for his touch. His warm embrace. She longed for him.
His eyes were wide open as he listened to the sounds of her movement. The light breeze blowing his face cold. He had to force himself to stay still, for he feared if he moved he would run to her. His mind filling with thoughts of her. His arms ached without her to hold. His longing for her was too strong to ignore.
Sitting forward, Richard sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself. He looked over at her. The wind blowing her hair around her. He thought she had never looked more beautiful, though, he knew he had thought that everytime he looked at her. He knew she wasn't asleep, her brow was wrickled as she tried to keep her eyes shut. Her eyes opened slowly, as she sat forward as well. They starred at eachother from across the fire. Starring in silence. In their silence more was being said that could never be said aloud. Neither would dare say it aloud.
She clung to the blanket, pulling it tightly around her. She pushed the stray hairs out of her face. He starred at her, heart racing for her. He stood slowly, not moving from his spot. He starred at her, almost asking for permission. When she gave a small nod, he walked quickly to her. Sitting down, he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly. She held him tightly, pulling him as close to her as she could. She pushed him backwards, she moved over him, placing a knee on both sides. Leaning down, she brushed her lips against his. With no hesitation, he pulled her down, and rolled them over. She pulled at his shirt, pulling it over his head. She rolled them back over, sitting ontop of him. She pulled at the strings of her dress, untieing it as he starred up at her. She looked down at him, and realization and reason floaded through her.
Her hands stopped moving, her mouth fell open as she thought of what was about to take place. He watched her, he could see her thoughts as though she had written them for him. "Kahlan... Don't" she looked back down at him, "I can't..." she started to lasce her dress back, when he grabbed her hand, stopping her. "Don't." She could see the hunger in his eyes. He could see her horror. "I'm not strong enough..." her words soft and barely audioable. "Neither am I." she sighed, moved off him and laid back beside him. "This is a mistake." he turned onto his side, and laid his arm over her. "No..." she closed her eyes. "Cara was right." He pulled himself closer to her, and laid his head on her chest. "She's not. Kahlan, us being together wont destroy us. Being apart will."
"Richard...Our love will only cause us pain." She moved out from under him and sat forward. "I don't want to hurt you." her words were soft, but the look in her eyes was hard and told him more than her words could. She was scared. He didn't understand. "We can't do this anymore." She stood, he grabbed her hand, almost pulling her back to him. "Kahaln..." without looking down, she pulled her hand from his and took a few steps before stopping. "I'm sorry." she sat down between Zedd and Cara and then alid down. She spent the night the same as Richard. Starring up at the stars.
The next few days went on...Every day spent the same. Richard and Kahlan talking to everyone but eachother. The nights, were long. Lonely. Cold. The only thing that remained the same, was that when Cara and Zedd fell asleep, they would stay awake. Starring. Longing. Fearing. Sitting there in the silence havel their own conversation...Speechless.