I've never sat down with the intentions of writing angst before, but blc suggested that there was a story to be written in my complaint that Booth hasn't really been the kind of friend I'd want to hang around with lately. So this is the result. It's just a quick little one-shot from Brennan's perspective. And a huge shout out to harleyzgirl for the prayers and encouragement. Thanks for your friendship.
Brennan sat in the darkness in her living room, the only light in the room filtering through the window. An untouched bottle of whiskey sat on the table next to her, along with her unopened journal. Her intentions had been to drink herself into a haze after recording her thoughts for the day into her journal. Unfortunately, she'd never made it that far. Instead, she'd found herself mentally replaying every harsh word, every criticism, every wound inflicted upon her by the only man she'd ever allowed the opportunity to get close enough to hurt her.
As the words echoed through her mind, she asked herself yet again why she stayed. Why didn't she request that another member of the team work in the field while she concentrated her efforts in the lab? Rationally speaking, it was illogical for her to continue to place herself in situations where she knew she was going to be hurt. It wasn't physical danger that had her sitting in the dark alone on a Friday night. No, physical danger was something she knew how to deal with. She knew how to step back from the fear
and put it in perspective. It was the emotional pain that kept her awake at night.
It was the comments like "you're awkward" that cut deep and left her feeling like she was bleeding and nobody cared enough to help her apply pressure to the wound. He was her partner, there was no denying that. But was he her best friend? There was a time when she wouldn't have hesitated to say that he was. There was a time when there was no doubt in her mind that he cared about her emotional well-being. She might have protested his constant prying, but she knew that it was done out of concern. In fact, there was a time when she thought that his prying was because he was trying to get her to open up to the idea that they could be more than just friends and partners.
Amazingly enough, he had accomplished just that. In the four years she had known him, she had finally allowed herself to actually re-evaluate her position on several issues. As much as she verbally argued that humans weren't meant for monogamy, part of her knew that if he offered, she would accept it from him. Was that why she stayed? Was it because she loved him that she overlooked his comments even though rationally speaking, she should distance herself from him?
She needed to find an answer and soon. It was killing her to go on like this.
Thoughts and comments always appreciated. Thanks for reading.