THE TIME HAD FINALLY COME. THE DAY ONE RACHEL BARBRA BERRY HAD BEEN FANTASIZING ABOUT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL, THE DAY OF HER FUNERAL. OF COURSE RACHEL BERRY WAS HARDLY DEAD BUT SHE HAD ARRANGED A FAUX FUNERAL SOLELY SO SHE COULD HEAR HOW SORRY HER FORMER CLASSMATES TRULY ARE. FOR EVERY HARSH WORD THEY THREW RACHEL'S WAY RACHEL SWORE TO WORK THAT MUCH HARDER TO PROVE THEM WRONG. LUCKY FOR HER, HER HARD WORK PAID OFF MORE THAN ANYONE COULD EVER IMAGINE.
TO SAY RACHEL BERRY WAS MORE POPULAR THAN JESUS WOULD BE AN UNDERSTATEMENT. TO SAY THAT RACHEL IS BIGGER THAN JESUS, ALLAH, AND YAHWEH COMBINED THEN MULTIPLIED BY TEN WOULD BE SLIGHTLY LESS UNDERSTATED. IF YOU WERE TO ASK 'WHO IS RACHEL BERRY?' MOST WOULD JUST STARE ON DUMBFOUNDED BECAUSE SERIOUSLY EVERYONE KNOWS WHO RACHEL BERRY IS. BUT AFTER THINKING A MOMENT THEY WOULD ANSWER WITH A FAR AWAY LOOK ON THEIR FACE AND BEGIN TO TELL YOU HER HARROWING TALE:
OF HOW IN HIGH SCHOOL HER WHOLE SCHOOL BANDED TOGETHER, DETERMINED TO BRING HER DOWN. HOW ALL THEIR BULLYING AND HATEFUL COMMENTS MADE HER STRONGER MADE HER READY TO TAKE ON THE TOUGH WORLD OUTSIDE OF HIGH SCHOOL. THEN THEY WOULD HAND YOU PART ONE OF THE RACHEL BERRY BIOGRAPHY TRILOGY. BEGINNING WITH BOOK ONE 'THE STORY OF A YOUNG INGENUE: RACHEL BERRY THE EARLY YEARS'. A COMPELLING NARRATIVE THAT TELLS OF THE YOUNG RACHEL BERRY ONLY EIGHT MONTHS OLD AND ALREADY SHE HAD MORE AMBITION AND PASSION THAN MOST INDIVIDUALS HAVE IN THEIR LIFETIME. BY NOW YOUR EYES WILL BE WELLING UP WITH TEARS FOR YOU HAVE BECOME SO IMPASSIONED BY THE STORY OF ONE RACHEL BERRY THAT. YOU LEAVE ENLIGHTENED AND FEELING ALMOST HIGH OFF THE KNOWLEDGE YOU'VE INQUIRED THE SMILE YOU WEAR STICKS WITH YOU THE REST OF THE DAY.
WHERE AS IN HIGH SCHOOL RACHEL WAS MOCKED MERCILESSLY FOR SIGNING HER NAME WITH A GOLD STAR, GOLD STARS AND RACHEL HAVE BECOME SO SYNONYMOUS THAT PEOPLE ARE NOW WISHING UPON RACHEL BERRYS. JUST LAST WEEK SCIENTISTS OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED THAT THE SUN HAS BECOME THE SECOND BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE GALAXY, THE FIRST OF COURSE, BEING RACHEL B. BERRY.
YES RACHEL'S DREAMS HAVE ALL COME TRUE ALL BUT ONE BUT TODAY WAS GOING TO CHANGE THAT.
UNFORTUNATELY MR. SCHUESTER WOULD NOT BE ATTENDING RACHEL'S FAUX FUNERAL FOR HE HAD DIED BUT A YEAR PRIOR OF PROSTATE CANCER. HE DIED IN HIS JAIL CELL WHERE HE HAD LIVED FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS, CHARGED WITH TWELVE COUNTS OF INAPPROPRIATE CARESSING OF UNDER AGED CHILDREN.
YES, TODAY SHE WOULD COME FACE TO FACE WITH HER HIGH SCHOOL FOES FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS.
RACHEL STRAPPED ON HER JET PACK, STARTED IT UP, AND SO BEGAN HER SLOW FLIGHT BACK TO LIMA, OHIO.