Authors note:

Well hi, not my first fan fiction… but my first in a while AND my first Avengers one. This story is going to be VERY long, and all relationship development will be slow and steady (it wins the race don't you know). There will be many, many pairings, and sometimes the pairing someone is in for a while is not the one they are going to be in permanently!

I am a massive comic nerd as well as being a huge fan of the films BUT I am not anal, and if you are, this is not a story for you. I have made up masses of my own stuff which is completely and utterly inaccurate to the comics and really doesn't work with it. In fact, some of it doesn't even fully fit with the films… but hey, artistic License I tell you…

WARNING: There will be some graphic violence and implied rape etc… this is a Natasha centric fic, including her dark past (that I have taken some liberties with) so PLEASE let's not read this if we don't like it!

Obviously I own nothing, please review if you want me to continue! After this first chapter I will love reviews but won't need them to keep updating… I write for me and to help vent some of the thoughts in my head, but on this one, it would be nice to get some opinions on whether I should even keep writing it or not!

Much love,

Miss S.E

Pain. That is all that Natalia could feel. Pain and confusion. She couldn't comprehend what was happening, why was this man causing her pain there? What was he doing? Suddenly it ended, his weight disappeared from where it had been pinning her to the thin, scrappy excuse for a mattress. She hated these rooms, grey, rough, blank walls, a hole in the ground in the corner, and a metal bed frame with little more than some fluff and cotton masquerading as something to sleep on. To her, well, to all the girls here, these rooms meant punishment. These rooms meant you had done something wrong, displeased Ivan or another trainer, and that wasn't a situation anyone wanted to find themselves in.

Lost in her confused, rushing thoughts, she didn't notice the knife until it was too late. One moment he was slipping his undergarments on and the next she was pinned again, but this time against the wall, knife at her throat, one big arm, much stronger than her own scrawny ones, pinning both of hers. Had she been paying attention, she would have been able to defend herself, been able to turn his own brute strength against him, got the knife and stabbed him in the back with it, but she hadn't been. Her thoughts had been far too preoccupied with whatever this new torture she had just endured was all about, to even notice him moving towards her, let alone fight him off.

"Such a shame" he muttered, in Polish (this guard's home tongue she seemed to recall) "and Commander Petrovitch had such high hopes for you" he continued his face only inches from her own, "And yet here you are; nothing more than a failure. You are not good enough to make the transition, and so now, we dispose of our… failed samples"

Even as he moved the knife back slowly, part of her brain was analysing his movements from instinct, noting that his plan was the drive it back, with perfect precision, straight through her neck, but she was distracted by the horrible realisation of what was happening washing over her. She was thirteen; this had been her initiation to adult service. Her chance to prove she could face any situation, be an adult agent for her country, be a widow, and she had failed. Therefore, it was only just that she was killed for her failure. She thought of her foster father Ivan, of how disappointed he would be. She closed her eyes, heart racing no matter how hard she tried to slow it, after all she reasoned with herself, why should she feel the fear and despair creeping over her in that moment? What right did she have to feel betrayed that they were killing her when she had failed them? Failed her country?

She heard the noise of Flesh ripping as a blade went through it and wondered why she could not yet feel the pain. The body flopped backwards suddenly limp and the pressure disappeared from her neck. As she heard the knife clatter to the floor, her eyes flew open to reassess the situation; her would be killer was now lying on the clean grey concrete, blood creeping out from a torn wound in his chest, and standing over him, his own blade still glistening with the blood was a stranger. A man she had never seen before, who was looking straight at her. He held out a hand, looking concerned, his eyes full of a compassion she had never witnessed in a person before, and she took it. She shouldn't have, it went against all her training, she had no idea who this man was, and yet was trusting him. He guided her back to the bed and sat her down on the edge.

"Are you ok?" his voice was soft, silken. He was speaking Russian she observed, though with a slight accent which she couldn't quite place. In his eyes was displayed care, and compassion still, underplayed by an edge of anger, that Natalia, even in her shaken state, could tell this mysterious stranger was trying to hide from her.

"Yes. I don't understand sir, I failed the test; death is a just and forewarned punishment for such a failure, so why did you stop him?" She was surprised to see sadness and regret pass across his deep, emotive eyes for just a moment before all emotions vanished from their depths once more.

"Never think that Natalia, you deserve to live. That chance is what I have given you. Live well, work hard, shoot high and never ever doubt yourself" Natalia felt a surge of annoyance at his dodging her question, she wanted to know why. "Oh and if they ask, there was no one here, you killed that man yourself." She nodded and he stood walking towards the door but Natalia had one more thing she had to know,

"Wait," she called, still speaking Russian, despite it obviously not being his native language, "who are you?!"

"I am Loki, of Asgard. And I shall always be watching over you мой возлюбленный"

Ok so there we goo… Ohhhhh there will be an explanation for why and how Loki was there at this point in her life (eventually) and also why he doesn't know her by the time that the film happens!

That last thing means "my beloved" (just so you don't have to look it up xD)

Aaaand review if you likey like!