The Lupins' Graves

Teddy Lupin was eleven years old today. It should have been a happy day. It was everything a birthday was supposed to be; he had got every present that he had asked for, he had a party with all his friends, and he had a cake shaped like a quidditch pitch, with eleven candles on it. His family had stood around it, singing "Happy Birthday", and then he blew out the candles, and made a wish.

He was happy, but he knew that he could be happier, had things panned out differently. He had everything he could wish for, but he felt today like there was something missing. When he had blown out the candles, he had wished for something he wanted dearly, though he knew he was wishing in vain.

While everyone was talking, he slipped off to his room, unnoticed by almost everyone.

When Harry found him, a few minutes later, he was lying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, dissolved in a fantasy in which the wish that he had made had come true, and so he barely noticed his Godfather enter the room. Only when he was sitting by him on the bed, did Teddy become fully aware of his presence. They both remained where they were in silence for a few moments, before Harry spoke. "What's wrong Teddy?" he asked. Teddy always found that his Godfather's voice was rather soothing to him, so he simply shook his head indifferently, and waited for him to speak again.

"Come on, I could see there was something wrong when you were downstairs, and now I find you lying in your bedroom alone on your birthday. There's something wrong, I can tell."

"No, there isn't, I'm just being silly, it's nothing really."

But Harry knew that it wasn't. He knew exactly what was wrong, having been there many times himself, but he thought it best to let Teddy tell him.

So he asked again, "Teddy, what's wrong?"

But Teddy did not answer immediately. He continued to stare blankly at the white ceiling, as though not seeing it at all. He remained like this for more than a minute, then eventually spoke; "Is it weird to miss someone you never knew?"

At theses words, Harry smiled empathetically, for the same question had plagued his thoughts for much of his early life.

"No," he answered firmly, "I never knew my parent's either, and there isn't a day goes by when I don't miss them"

"I just wish that I could have known them," he said, "even if they died a few years later, at least I could have had memories of them, you know, known what they were like."

"You know Teddy, in some ways, you're really lucky," said Harry, and Teddy gave him a look that was part sorrow, part puzzlement, and part a sort of subdued half-anger. "How?" he demanded, "how on Earth can it possibly be lucky that I will never know my parents?"

"No," said Harry calmly, "that wasn't what I meant at all."

"Then what did you mean?" Teddy asked, with an air of forced politeness.

"When I was growing up, I lived with my Aunt and Uncle. They were muggles, and they hated magic. They were ashamed to have ever had anything to do with my mother, so there wasn't a single photo of either of my parent, and I was never told anything about them. I never knew I was a wizard, or even that magic was real. It was my eleventh birthday, funnily enough, when I first found out that I was a wizard, and how my parents died. From then on, it was a case of building up a picture of them from the little scraps of information I got from other people, mostly Sirius and your dad.

"You, on the other hand, have got hundreds of photos of them and you're surrounded by people who can tell you truthfully about the amazing people that your parents were. I know it's not enough to make up for the face that they're gone, but at least it's something."

All the time that Teddy had been talking, Teddy had been lying in a deep silence staring at the ceiling, still not seeing it, and he remained in this state for so long that Harry wondered if he had heard a word he had said. Then, suddenly, he realised what he could do to help his Godson. "If you want," he said, "we can go see them"

Slowly, Teddy sat up, and smiled weakly at Harry. "Yeah," he said faintly, "I'd like that."

The graveyard was only five minutes walk away, and both Godfather and Godson walked the whole way in silence, both engrossed in their own thoughts of the parents they had lost.

When they reached the graves, both looked at the headstone, and both saw something different. It had written upon it the name Nymphadora Lupin, and Remus Lupin, the dates of birth and death, as well as the inscription, "those we have loved never truly leave us."

This was not what Harry saw though, he saw the names Lilly Potter and James Potter, remembering the first time he had visited his own parents' graves. He looked down at the young boy in front of him, relative in all but blood, who was now sitting on the grass in front of his parents' graves, his arms around his knees, and Harry wondered if he was feeling the same way now that he himself had felt all those years ago.

Infact, he was feeling everything Harry had felt that time at Godric's Hollow. It was not the first time that Teddy had visited his parents' graves, but in some ways, it felt like it was. When he had been before, he had not really been visiting the graves of his parents, just a place that had something to do with some dead people that he did not and never would know. Today though, it felt as if he was realising fully for the first time, what it meant to loose one's parents. He imagined, just as Harry had, what it would be like if things had been different; how would they have felt when he took his first steps, or spoke his first words? What presents would they have bought him for his first Christmas? What about now; would they have also been stood around his cake today, singing to him with everyone else? In a few months time, when he got his letter from Hogwarts, would they have been proud of him? Would they have been there to kiss him goodbye as he got on the school train for the first time, and wave him off as the train left the platform?

The sun was shining down brightly, as though impervious to the grief of a young boy kneeling at the grave of his parents in an almost empty graveyard. The birds were still singing in the trees as a single tear fell on the ground by the graves of Remus and Nymphadora Lupin. They had missed so much of him, and he had missed so much of them, and it was only today that he had finally begun to realise just how much.

He wanted to ask about his parents, but right then he couldn't find the words. This would have usually frustrated him, but he knew that he had his whole life asking questions. For now, he was happy just to imagine.

"You ready to come back now?" asked Harry gently. Teddy wished he could have stayed there forever, finally close to his parents, but he knew that he had been there long enough, so he nodded, and got sluggishly to his feet, and let Harry put his arm around him. They walked together like this all the way back.

When they got back, Teddy returned to his room. On his bedside table was a photograph of his Mother and Father on their wedding day. He had looked at the photograph many times, seen their faces beaming up at him, almost as though they could really see him. It seemed different today though, it was like hearing a lullaby he had been sung as a baby. He almost felt as though he could remember his parents looking down at him, smiling. Of course, it couldn't possibly be a real memory, he had been far too young, but he realised, Harry had been right all along. He was lucky.