Subtly Suggesting
A/N: okay so this is my second story. It's been sitting in a file for a while but I didn't quite know where I was going to go with this, but I now have most of the plot worked out. So ya, hope you enjoy.
Prologue
I think I'm in love with my best friend. He's the one that makes me laugh and yet he's the one I laugh at. He's the one that comes to comfort me and yet he's the one that I need to be comforted from. He's the one that would kill the guy that dared to harm me and yet he's the one that hurts me everyday. He's the one that notices the look in my eye when I see that what I want and yet he's the one that doesn't notice when I look at him. He's the one that hugs me close when other have pushed me away and yet he's the one that I want to push away. He's the one that tells me it'll all be okay and yet he's the one that I'll never be okay without. He's the one that cleans my wounds and yet he's the one that rubs the salt into them. He's the one that would cross a million miles to fetch me my love and yet he's the one that won't cross the room to me. He's the one that I tell every secret to and yet he's the one that I could never tell of my new obsession.
Chapter 1
"Please just give it up! This has gone on way to long. I'm never going to love you back. I will never look at you the way you look at me. I'm never going to. Please, please just stop. I can't take this anymore. Please, just, please stop loving me. Please, I really can't anymore." Tears of quiet desperation escaped her. She sat sobbing, her head in hands. It had become just too much for her handle anymore. He had just keep pushing and pushing and she couldn't push back anymore. She broke down and cried. Cried like she's never cried before.
And his heart broke, not because of what she said just, but because he had caused her this pain. "I'm sorry Lily, I'm so sorry. I won't, I'll stop' I'll do it. I won't love you anymore." He looked at the gorgeous redhead one last time. "I'm so sorry." And he left.
It was nearly a year since Lily had broken down like that and since then a lot of things had changed. Once he had stopped loving, something had happened between them. They had formed a close friendship. He had become her best friend, something she thought would never happen. And now, she was sitting on her bed quietly scribbling across the pages of her diary. She was scribbling something she a year ago would have thought revolting. Now, she longed for it.
Mrs Lily Potter. Mrs Lily Potter. Mrs Lillian Potter.
Yes. That was it, Mrs Lillian Potter.
Why hadn't her parents called her Lillian, it sounded so much more sophisticated and grown up. Besides, it just went better with Potter, better than Lily.
Glancing for the last time at her diary before she closed it, she noticed that unbeknown to her she had in fact covered an entire page in hearts and 'Mrs Potter' icons.
What the hell was wrong with her
'How childish was that' she thought smiling. Biting her bottom lip, she slipped her dairy into a thick leather cover and placed it among her other school textbooks. Petunia wouldn't look there.
All she ever really wanted was for him to look at her the way he had before. Every time she would pass he got an odd expression on his face, sometimes dream-like. The look in his eyes were hunger, even greedy, like he longed to be with her.
That was the look Lily wanted him to have when he looked at her but she had ruined it. She had told him to stop loving her. She had made it happen. But now, now she wanted it back.
She had a plan. Oh, yes, and a good plan, she thought, it was.
James was a clever man. He'd catch on quickly. He was one of the most intelligent men she knew.
Then again…
Intelligent didn't exactly make you clever. Not clever in the sense of books but in the sense of noticing and interpreting people's behaviour.
James never seemed to pick up when she was angry or frustrated and wanted to be left alone. He also tended to say the worst possible thing at the most inappropriate moment.
But at times, he could be so sweet and interesting; there was something about him that intrigued her and a certain indefinable charm that entranced her. Lily knew she wasn't out-going or flirtatious around members of the opposite sex. She was usually quite and reserved and this had not served her well in previous love matters.
All she really needed was for him to realize that she, in fact, had succumbed to his charm and after that, she was almost positive he would act. She knew that if she could just get his attention subtly, hint subtly, flirt subtly, she just might just stand a charge.
She would subtly hint and even he wouldn't be able to ignore it. The more she thought about it, the easier it seemed. Subtle suggestions.
Yes, this was her plan and a good one at that.
"Mum?"
"Mum?"
"MUM?!"
"Yes, Lily, what is it?" Her mother came bursting into her room carrying a load of washing.
"I can't find it, mum, I can't find it!" Lily was on the verge of hysterics as she pulled out her draws "It's not here, Mum, it's not here!"
"There is no need to shout at me, I'm not deaf. What have you lost?"
"I can't my blue strappy top!"
"It's in the wash, sweetheart." Her mother pulled from among the mess in her arms; a navy blue shirt with a hint of lacy around the top.
"Is that the clean washing?" Lily asked "Please yell me you taking it to be ironed."
"No, love, I was just about to pop it into the machine."
"But I wanted to wear it!"
"Don't take that tone of voice with me, Lily. You have plenty of other shirts in your cupboard."
With that her mother turned on her heels and left the room.
Lily groaned. What was she suppose to wear now? She had planned this outfit for days and now she didn't have her key item.
"It's okay." Lily calmed herself, "You still have-" she glanced down at the clock on her bedside table "-a hour. I still have an hour. What am I saying, I only have an hour!"
Lily dropped her hand from her forehead and starting pacing.
She'd jumped into the shower and then decide what to wear. Yes, that would work. That would give her time to think.
Lily dashed into the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower.
The water was warm and relaxing but she hardly noticed as she hurriedly washed her hair.
Wrapping one of the thick cotton towels around her, she stuck her head out the bathroom door and making sure that no one was around, dashed back to her room.
She stood in front of her closet, gazing into its depths. She could wear her skirt or maybe she should rather wear a pair of jeans. She still had that summer dress she had brought last year but thinking about it now, it was actually quite hideous.
She opened the curtains a fraction of an inch and looked up at the sky, trying to gadge the possible weather forecast for London.
A clear blue sky stretched out in front of her, and the trees swayed in the breeze.
"Clear skies and relatively warm forecast for most of the country tomorrow."
It would be warm.
Glancing at the clock again, Lily made her decision.
She'd wear her checked mini skirt and black halter neck top. She'd wear her ballet slippers shoes. They were comfy and her feet wouldn't get sore from all the walking.
It might be a good time to mention that that she and James had planned to go do their Hogwarts shopping together in Diagon Alley and that he would be arriving to pick her up in- she glanced at the clock again- twenty-four minutes.
Make-up!
Lily slipped into the seat of her dressing table.
She didn't want to make it look like she had gotten all dress up for him, but at the same time made some sort of effort.
She added a little bit of brown eyeliner to emphasis her eyes and still look natural and a tinge of mascara.
Hands poised over the eye shadow, she decided against it and instead opted for some clear lip-gloss.
She quickly dried her hair with a muggle hair dryer (She couldn't stand the hair wand, - as it had cheesily been named- that witches normally used) and tried it up in a high pony and had to strands on either side of her face hang down. It framed her face nicely.
She fasten a small silver necklace around her neck with a single little tear drop pendent dangling from it. Set in the pendent was a little green stone. James had given it to her for her birthday in the third year.
She grabbed a black handbag hanging off her dressing table and inside it she chucked her wand, book list, a nail file, her lip-gloss, muggle money that she would exchange at Gringotts, a few mints, a small notebook and pen, a couple of sweets in noisy wrappers, Galleons from the previous year, a little bottle of perfume and a black cardigan she doubted she'd need.
"A women handbag is her greatest treasure. With it, you must be ready for anything."
Lily's grandmother's words came back to her and she smiled.
Glancing a fourth and final time at her clock, she headed down the stairs to listen for the arrival of James.
She flopped down into a chair in the lounge where her father was reading the newspaper.
Lily had hardly sat down then her father asked from behind the newspaper "Where are you going?"
"To buy school stuff in London."
"With whom?"
"James."
Her father let sink the newspaper. "You know the rules Lily."
Rolling her eyes, Lily replied "What do you think I'm going to do?"
"I just know what teenage boys are like."
"Please stop doing that. I'm a big girl and can take care of myself. Besides he's not like that."
Before her father could retaliate the doorbell rang and Lily sped to open it, leaving her father behind, his mouth still forming a word.
Lily opened the door to find a tall and well-built boy of seventeen standing before her. A flutter in her stomach identified him as James Potter- Quiddich hero, head boy, school hottie and marauder.
He was wearing a pair of blue jeans, his hand thrust deep in the pockets, sneakers and the Hippogriffs from Hell band t-shirt Lily had bought him for Christmas. His dark, untidy hair completed the look and Lily's heart fluttered.
"Hey!" Lily greeted as she hug him, perhaps holding on a little longer that one normally would with a friend. She hoped he would notice. Once she had let go, she called over her shoulder "I'm going now, bye!"
"Bye dear!" her mother called from the kitchen but her father came bustling to the door from the living room.
"Morning Mr. Evens." James greeted, extending his hand. However, his hand was not taken. Still eying the boy before him, Mr. Evens spoke to Lily "What time will you be home?"
"Later, Dad."
Lily grabbed James' hand and pulled him down the steps and out of the garden gate.
James was to Apparate the pair of them to Diagon Alley from the corner. Lily didn't want to Apparate from inside of the house as her holding tightly onto James may just cause her father that tiny bit of upset that would end the trip. Beside, her parents didn't like the loud bang that came with Apparation.
"I'm so sorry about that, it was completely rude of him."
"It's okay, don't worry." They had reached the corner and James offered Lily his arm. She took his arm and he turned. The uncomfortable feeling of Apparation washed over her but a second later they were standing in a dirty little courtyard outside The Leaky Cauldron.
James pulled out his wand and tapped the bricks and an archway formed allowing them into the crowded street that was Diagon Alley.
Now was the time for action, Lily decided.
A/N: so that was the first chapter. It kinda started out as a Lily X Severus but I changed it cause I really like Lily and James more. They so cute. Not the most lively of chapters but it does get better I promise. But I'd really like to know what you thought. Is it any good? Should I continue? Please review, the good and the bad.
Thanks
Vonbon