Disclaimer:  Yeah, okay… I do not own any of the Friends… although if someone would like to get me a Matthew Perry, I wouldn't complain… in fact, I'd love you forever.

The One Where London Never Happened

            He sat alone on the musty couch of the coffee shop, collecting his thoughts on the events which had transpired over the past few days. His double latte was long gone, and a previous headache had made its return, slowly and steadily pounding against his temples. His brilliant blue eyes had lost their sparkle after 4 sleepless nights, and he lay his head back on the couch and gave in to unconsciousness.

            "Dude! Wake up, wake up!"

            His eyes shot open as he jumped nearly a mile high. Running a hand through his still semi-highlighted light brown hair, he stared at his friend for a moment before speaking. "Why, Joe? Why?!"

            Joey made a face. "Sorry!" he responded sarcastically, sitting down in his chair. "What's bothering you, Chandler?"

            "Huh… let's see, shall we?" Chandler began, rather irritated. "Ever since Emily called off the wedding at the last minute, Ross has been sleeping on our couch, eating our food, using my soap, moaning in our ears… and he watches Fatal Attraction all night long with the volume up!"

            "Uses your soap…" Joey thought for a moment, before exclaiming loudly: "Oh! You mean your favorite Pearberry soap from Bath & Body Works!"

            Chandler slid down in his seat. "Yeah, thanks man…"

            Joey smiled. "So, what's the big deal? Ross has lived with us before."

            Chandler straightened back up and sighed. "I know. I'm just using that as an excuse." He paused.  "I… I just can't shake the feeling like I missed out on something by not going to London."

            "Yeah, me too…"

            The two friends were silent for a minute before Joey spoke up.  "You meant like a bridesmaid, right?"

            Chandler rolled his eyes and sighed again. "Yes, Joe. I missed out on sleeping with a bridesmaid." He muttered quietly to himself and stared at the ceiling as Joey walked up to the counter to answer a phone call. He was just about to fall asleep again when Joey shouted his name across the coffeehouse.

            "Chandler! Chandler! Phoebe's having the babies! Phoebe's having her brother's babies!"

            "Now?!"

            "Yes, now!"

            "Well, what are we waiting for?!"

            Joey just stared at him for a minute.

Chandler cocked his head and stared back.

"Oh!"

"There it is!" Chandler exclaimed, before the two men raced out of Central Perk to find a cab.