Disclaimer: JK owns everything! Not me!
Um, well I'm new too this fan fiction thing, but I wrote this little thing for a bit of fun. I had too really, the song and those two just goes too well. Although I have yet to read Lolita.
It's just a long oneshot based on the song. Read and, hopefully, enjoy!
Young teacher
the subject
of school girl fantasy
She wants him
so badly
knows what she wants to be
Inside him
there's knowledge
this girls an open page
Book marking
she's so close now
this girl is half his age
Don't stand
don't stand so
don't stand so close to me
don't stand
don't stand so
don't stand so close to me
Her friends are
so jealous
you know how bad girls get
Sometimes it's not so easy
to be the teachers pet
Temptation
frustration
so bad it makes him cry
Wet bus stop
she's waiting
his car is warm and dry
Don't stand
don't stand so
don't stand so close to me
don't stand
don't stand so
don't stand so close to me
Loose talk in the classroom
so hurt they try and try
Strong words in the staffroom
the accusations fly
It's no use
he sees her
he starts to shake and call
just like the
old man in
the book by Nabakov
Don't stand
don't stand so
don't stand so close to me
don't stand
don't stand so
don't stand so close to me
Don't stand
don't stand so
don't stand so close to me
don't stand
don't stand so
don't stand so close to me
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Professor Severus Snape had a problem. And that problem came in the form of seventh year student- Miss. Know-it-all Granger.
That was how he had always thought of her, and how he had always wished too think of her. Just another annoying Gryffindor- and even more so because she was part of Potter's golden trio. Unfortunately this was becoming more and more bloody difficult as time went by.
One lesson, Snape had looked up too find the aforementioned girl looking straight at him, with a most... Disturbing expression on her face. She had coloured a little and looked away.
This may have been the first of such an instance occurring, but it had by no means been the last.
No, he had been unsettled to find her watching him, far more than was necessary, and whenever she thought he wouldn't notice.
And this strange behaviour started to carry into the Great Hall, he would be eating, or half-listening to some half wit blathering on by his side, and notice those bright brown eyes, no longer concentrating on her friends, but looking up to him. Hastily looking away as soon as he made eye contact.
Then it started getting worse. She would no longer flick her eyes abruptly away from his when he looked back at her. She would gaze, for admittedly only a second or two, into his eyes, for some unfathomable reason.
And Snape found that she was entering into his thoughts nowadays far more than he liked, admittedly due to wonderment at her new habit, but still... She should not be in his thoughts at all.
During Defence Against the Dark Arts one day, he had been marking at his desk, and like the first time it had happened, he had looked up too find her looking at him. Only she took far longer now too look away then she had then.
And enough was enough. He was determined too find out what was going on in that irritating head of hers. He would have to resort to Legilimency.
What he saw made him fight to retain composure, despite all his years of practice. She looked down at her essay, and he looked back at his marking, but he didn't see it at all.
What in Merlin's name?! He just couldn't fathom it. The peculiar girl seemed to have grown some attraction... To him! Of all people! Or judging by the intensity of her thoughts, more of an infatuation than just attraction.
What was she thinking? Well she obviously wasn't, for once in her life. A pretty young woman thinking anything at all of him... Wait... Pretty young woman? Where had that come from?
Annoying, Potter- defending Gryffindor girl, yes that was better.
But it wasn't better at all. Over the next few days he couldn't help himself from looking over at her almost as much as she had looked at him. He couldn't seem too stop himself from wondering... He found it harder and harder too shake his thoughts away from her when she came up in his mind. Which seemed too be all the time now. This was not good at all.
On the few quiet, written lessons he had, he would sit in the front, while students would do various written tasks he had set them- in silence. Occasionally it would be a quick little task, and the trembling students would come up too his desk one by one for him too look over their work and mark it quickly there and then.
What had seemed a very efficient strategy, for the first time seemed foolhardy one lesson in late November.
It was Hermione's turn. She had just come up, and put her book on the desk, but this time it was different. He had had to pause for a second too focus on her neat, and as always excellent work, distracted by her pleasant aroma. But she was standing too close. Right there, right next too him. If he moved a centimetre he would be touching her, and who knows what he might feel then. From the corner of his eye he saw her hair draped down, so nearly touching his desk, she was leaning in too watch his marking. And he couldn't help but think about running his hands through that soft, wavy, brown, glorious hair. And then he felt disgusted at himself.
She was a student. Half his age. This would not do at all.
So he put all his being into concentrating on her work, and began marking it. But whereas before he had been overcome with longing for her body, he was now distracted by attraction for her incredible mind.
She was a know-it-all, remember that, he told himself. But of course she was, she was a million times more intelligent than anyone he had ever met.
Solving his logic puzzle in the first year, brewing Polyjuice potion in second year, putting two and two together with his werewolf essay and lupin in the third year- as he had known she would. Ensnaring Victor Krum fourth year, tricking Umbridge fifth year, working out who his Mother was sixth year- oh yes he knew about that. And just generally remaining consistently brilliant. She was the only student, now he thought about it, that he could gain any satisfaction at all from teaching.
But satisfaction would soon turn to intense frustration. He wished she wouldn't stand so close. And yet simultaneously wished she were closer...
No! He sped through the marking, scribbling down a hasty 'O', and silently handed her book back. Willing her too hurry away, willing the lesson hour to be at an end, he could almost feel beads of sweat forming on his brow.
He needed too stop this madness! But how! His brain seemed too be having very little control over this! He always had control. It took a lot too frighten Severus Snape, nothing had in a very long time indeed. But this did, this lack of control was shaking him too the core.
Hermione had an equal lack of control over herself. Her feelings had shocked, disturbed her at first. She lay in bed remembering the first time she had thought of him... Like that.
It had been a long hot summer, and she had come back too Hogwarts, happy too be in the cooler climate of Scotland again, happy too be with all her friends again, happy too be in that most hallowed place of learning again.
She had been laughing, smiling with her friends in the Great Hall, and she had looked up too see Snape walking into the Hall. And all her attention had flown immediately too him. For the first time she saw him as a man. Not just as a teacher- one of those strange creatures so distant from the student population. He was just a man, and she was just a girl. And as soon as she had realised this, she realised she found that man attractive.
This had shocked her, repulsed her even. But the more time she spent in his presence, the more she had realised there was nothing to be repulsed at. He was her teacher, he would be horrified if he knew... but, she found herself spending more and more time thinking about him. Those deep, deep, black, eyes, that pale face, those sensual lips, even his hooked nose she longed too kiss. And those hands... So long and elegant, she imagined them holding her, entwining through her hair... And what made her even more attracted too him, was that it wasn't just physical, but she was attracted too his mind. The Half Blood Prince. There was an incredible mind behind those eyes. An incredible, noble, loyal mind. And she knew he could be cruel, she knew he could be intensely unreasonable, but she knew he was a good man.
And it wasn't long, before she suspected that she loved him. She imagined how she would feel if he died, or just wasn't there any more, and just the thought of it made her feel sick, made her go cold inside.
When she realised this, she watched him more, and with a pang realised how lonely he must be. And more than anything she longed him for him too be happy, she spent long nights wondering and worrying about him. She didn't care how, or who made him happy, but that's all she wanted for him.
And recently, he was treating her more and more fairly. He was marking her work as she knew it should be marked. He wasn't calling her 'know-it-all Granger'. In fact, where he had snapped at her, and deducted points for the slightest things before, he was now avoiding addressing her altogether. He was still just as unfair too the rest of the Gryffindors, but turned a strangely blind-eye too things Hermione did that had used too make him snap her head off.
And one night it became apparent too Hermione that her friends and classmates had started too notice.
She was sitting in the common room as usual, with Ron and Harry, doing her latest DADA essay with them, when Lavender and Parvarti had flounced in.
'Oh Hermione.' Lavender said. 'Are you doing Snape's bastard of an essay? God, I wish Dumbledore would sack the greasy bastard.'
Hermione immediately felt her insides freeze. 'He's a good teacher Lavender. And I wish you lot wouldn't call him a greasy bat.'
Lavender wrinkled her nose contemptuously. 'Just because he's got a thing for you.'
'What?!'
Even Harry and Ron looked up at Lavender with disgust on their faces.
'Oh come on Hermione. You always get 'outstanding' without fail in his lessons, when no one else does-'
'Perhaps because my essays are better than anyone else's!'
Ron nodded. 'It's true Lavender. Hermione gets 'O' in everyone's classes.'
'But come on- Snape's? Even Draco doesn't get an O in Snape's classes. And you can get away with murder in his class.'
'Oh come on- when do I ever break any rules or act up?'
'Actually, Hermione.' Started Harry. 'If anyone outside of Slytherin even blinks they're usually brutally savaged by Snape. He hasn't said a thing to you recently, even though you've been helping Neville constantly, and even answering questions out of turn.'
'It's not bloody fair.' Said Lavender. 'You been doing 'extra- curricular activities' with him or something!' With that she gave a suggestive wink.
Hermione coloured. 'Oh, can't you all grow up.' She snapped, and looked back down at her essay.
'Ooh you hit sensitive point there.' Laughed Parvarti.
'It's not bloody fair though.' Said Ron, scratching his head at his scruffy essay. 'You ought to be careful 'Mione, they'll be rumours started about you two.'
'Not just teacher's pet but Snape's pet!' Lavender and Parvarti giggled. 'Imagine it!'
And they wondered off too giggle with some fifth years who were experimenting with different shades of eyeshadow.
Hermione couldn't help but flush even redder, but she just stared straight down at her essay, ignoring the un-sly look the boys exchanged before getting back too their own essays.
He thought maybe he would forget her when she went for Christmas. But he couldn't, and when she came back, things were even worse.
The tension was becoming unbearable. He would hand her a book back, and she would gaze at him, so he would forget himself, his hand would be too far up the book... And their hands would brush, and his breathing would hitch.
During practical lessons, he avoided her as much as she could, but just because she was intelligent, it didn't mean she didn't need too be taught as much as everyone else. He would have too stand close, reach out too change the angle with which she was holding her wand... Once he had stood right behind her, and captured her wand in frustration, she was holding it completely wrong, but he had forgotten himself. Their bare hands touched, their arms brushed, he was so close he could smell her hair. Intoxicating. He closed his eyes for a second, then remembered he was in the middle of class and opened them. But not before he had noticed she had closed her eyes too. The look on her face... It was anything but disgust, or that of someone repelled...
He cleared his throat, and had too walk away. He couldn't stick this much more, but there was still half a year too go...
At last the lesson ended. He sat down behind his desk, put his head on his hands, and groaned. The image of her was burned onto his retinas. He pushed his hands into his hair and rubbed his forehead with his palms. Taking his hands away he was surprised too feel they were wet. He touched under his eyes, and ran his finger down his cheek, following the path of a tear. Surprised at his weakness.
Must he always be alone though? He was so fed up with nothing but his brooding thoughts and ugly memories too accompany him. Year after year after year. How long would he go on living like this? Now he had found something... Someone he wanted... And she was the one thing he could never have. Apart from the blindingly large obstacle of their student/ teacher boundaries, well, they could never be together. He laughed into the empty room. Imagine it. The pretty young Gryffindor Goddess, with the great ugly bat of the dungeons. He laughed again. And it reverberated emptily around the room. How ironic, first he falls for a bloody student, and then the first time he laughs in years, it is completely without mirth. Typical.
How dare she provoke such feelings in him. How dare she.
He couldn't escape her even at weekends. She was always there. At mealtimes, or hanging around with her foolish friends. He would go too the library and she always seemed too be there.
Sunday lunchtime she wasn't there though. He found himself feeling worried. But then she had probably just lost track of time in the library. Why should he care anyway? He just did.
And he didn't like the look on Potter and Weasley's faces either. What were they whispering so heatedly about with Miss. Brown and the Patil twins?
Oh probably nothing at all. He needed too get out of this stifling castle.
After lunch he wrapped up in his cloak, gloves and scarf, and headed outside. Cold rain pounded relentlessly from the sky, whipping into his face and hair.
But it felt good, and there was little that felt good in his life. So he braved the wind and rain, walking down too the lake, and around it through the sparse trees that grew there, before joining the forbidden forest.
At length he reached a large, flat outcrop of rock, that extended a little way over the lake. He had intended too walk up it, too batter his senses with nature's raw power. But through the grey rain he could see a figure already standing there. And straight away he knew that figure was none other than Hermione Granger.
She was just standing up there, near the edge, her face turned up into the rain. He saw with concern she wasn't even wearing a coat. That wasn't good at all in this freezing January weather. What had possessed the foolish girl?
He could have stood there forever, just watching her, but his concern for her was growing. He felt the icy wind through all his layers, she would surely freeze too death.
He reasoned he would have too intervene with any student foolish enough too be doing this, not just her. And with that thought in mind he walked up too her, and stood behind her.
'Miss. Granger.' He said.
She jumped and her head whipped around. She looked a little like she had been crying, but now she just looked wild, her eyes were wide, and her wet hair whipped mercilessly around her pale face.
'Professor...'
'May I ask what you are doing outside on such a day?'
She paused... 'I could ask the same of you.'
Any other student would have lost at least twenty house points by now, but something stopped him. 'I was at least fore-sighted enough too bring my cloak. I can't allow my students too act so foolishly, you must come inside at once.'
With alarm he saw her drop her defiant head, and was sure she was crying again, but the rain washed away any tears before they appeared as such. She wrapped her arms around herself and started shivering uncontrollably.
What else could he do? He removed his thick warm cloak, and dropped it around her shoulders.
She looked up at him in surprise, but then just whispered; 'Thank you Sir.'
He nodded stiffly as she pulled the cloak tightly around herself.
The wind was keen, but he ignored it. She looked so forlorn.
'Come back too the castle Miss. Granger. Professor McGonagall would never forgive me if I allowed you too freeze to death.'
She nodded, and they walked side by side down the rock, then back through the trees, both their minds racing.
'I'm sorry Professor. The bottom of your cloak is going too be all muddy.'
'It doesn't matter Miss. Granger. We are magical are we not?'
She looked at him and smiled, but her face was troubled. 'Professor... I...'
For some reason icy fear suddenly filled his heart.
'Keep walking Miss. Granger, I don't want too catch a cold as well.' And he walked ahead of her.
She didn't move, but a small voice was carried too him by the wind. 'I just hope you know that you're not alone.' It said.
He stopped and looked back at her sincere gaze, too overcome with sadness too keep the emotion from his face.
'Come along Miss. Granger.' He said quietly.
She caught up with him, and they walked in companionable silence up into the warmth and dryness of the entrance hall.
Here she handed him his cloak, dripping wet and muddy.
He raised an eyebrow, but she understood it was with humour, and she laughed a little laugh.
'Scourgify.' He said, and soon it was like new. 'Good day Miss. Granger.'
'Good day Professor.'
And both walked off too their separate destinations, their hearts feeling strangely lighter than before.
But the feeling was not too be for long.
Hermione walked to her Defence Against the dark Arts lesson, but Draco stood outside, and he stopped her before she could go in and sit down.
'Filthy mudblood.' He said. 'He's got no taste, a mudblood gryffindor, eugh.'
Hermione's anger made her face flush. So the ugly rumours, started by her own fellow Gryffindors, had spread too the Slytherins. Bloody great. This was all spiralling out of control.
But she wouldn't raise too Draco's bait. She made too push her way past him, but he gripped her shoulders, and before she knew what was happening had pushed her up against the wall.
'Let's have a taste then, see what he's going soft for.'
And he pressed his mouth hard against hers.
Hermione was appalled beyond belief, she tried too push him away, or tried to grab her wand, but before she could do anything Snape strode round the corner.
His face would have terrified Voldemort. In one stride he seized Draco's neck and pinned him up against the wall, simultaneously taking his wand, and aiming it at him with his other hand.
Hermione didn't know what to do, she just felt sick at Draco's violation, right now he deserved everything he got.
Draco had shouted out. Hermione's classmates came rushing too the door, stopping at this incredible sight.
Snape was oblivious. His voice was lower and icier than Hermione had ever heard it.
'If you ever do anything like that again I will castrate you myself.'
Draco was either brave or stupid. 'What you're jealous of that! That Gryffindor mudbl-'
But he couldn't finish his sentence because Snape's grip tightened around his throat.
His face was white with rage, and his glare was as sharp and hard as obsidian spears.
'Leave now.' His voice was almost a growl, it was so low and menacing.
He relinquished his grip, and Draco didn't need telling twice, he ran off up the corridor.
An uneasy silence now reigned. Snape turned his glare on his students, all crowded around the door.
'Sit down!'
They hastily retreated. Snape didn't want to look at Hermione. What would she think of his over reaction? She might realise his feeling for her were not as they should be... And that couldn't happen. But he couldn't just leave it.
'Are you al right Miss. Granger.'
She nodded. 'Yes, thank you sir. Just a bit shaken.'
'Are you okay too come to lesson?'
'Yes, really I'm fine.'
He nodded awkwardly, then walked into his whispering class, Hermione followed him in and sat down.
'Twenty points from Gryffindor and Slytherin-' The Slytherins gasped at this. 'Hold your tongues.' He finished icily, his eyes flicking around the room, daring anyone to defy him. Of course, no one would.
But it appeared the damnable students would only hold their tongues in his presence.
He went too the staffroom for their weekly meeting that evening, and was besieged by Mcgonagall over the table.
'Our first topic should be you Severus. What is this I hear about you and the Granger girl?'
Snape's insides turned cold.
'From whom have you heard what.'
'Oh come on.' Said Flitwick in his squeaky voice. 'The whole castle's been talking about you two. There's something going on.'
Snape looked at Dumbledore who's face was filled with concern.
'And you believe these rumours do you? You think I would relinquish my professional duties for a know-it-all Gryffindor!' he replied outraged.
'It seems you already have.' Said McGonagall. 'You attacked Draco, Severus.'
'He forced himself on the girl! Would you not have done anything!'
'I would have severely reprimanded him, and deferred any further action too Albus.'
'Well aren't you saintly. There is nothing going on between the Granger girl and I. I never realised I was this low in everyone's esteem, especially yours Albus.'
The wise old man held up his hand. 'I have not said there is any truth in these rumours-'
'Albus!' Interrupted McGonagall. 'I saw her wearing his cloak! She gave it back too him in the entrance hall after their little walk together.'
Snape could barely speak for rage. 'So you're spying on me now! If you had done you're dirty spying better you would have known that I happened upon her shivering in the rain without a coat, of coarse I lent her my cloak! Wouldn't you!'
'That's as may be. But I saw you Severus- by accident- not spying, and you didn't take any points, she in fact was smiling at you, something must be going on.'
'You complain at me for being harsh too your precious Gryffindors, then you savage me for showing them the slightest leniency? Fine! When I next see her I'll dock her a hundred points and give her a months detention!' He stopped when he realised he was shouting.
'Well you'd like detention with her wouldn't you?' Said McGonagall fiercely. 'I don't think that would be much of a punishment for-'
Snape cut her off by standing, and pushing his chair back. It scraped along the floor, and fell over backwards with a bang on the stone floor.
'You have gone too far.' And with that he left the room.
He couldn't believe it. They all thought at the drop of a hat he'd go off shagging the students?! Well he may as well go and do it then if that was all they thought of him! How dare she! How dare she! He had always thought McGonagall had had a bit of sense- but evidently not! Accusing him of such things in front of everyone! With such vulgarity!
He paced his room, skipping dinner, he opened the firewhiskey and succumbed to it.
How could he go on working and living in this damnable castle! With these damnable people! With Hermione bloody Granger!
'You are not alone.' Her sweet words rung in his ears. Yes he was. He always was and he always would be.
He downed his firewhiskey, that was his only friend.
He had been going too seriously quit this hateful place after that. The insult was too great too be borne, but Dumbledore had come too see him, and he could convince the waves too not draw back from the shore. So after stiff apologies from the rest of the staff, he stayed.
He spent the next few months trying too ignore the many charms of Miss. Granger. She wasn't actively trying too tempt him, but she didn't need too. Her very existence he found unendurably tempting.
So he longed for graduation. Not long now. When she was gone he would surely be able too stop thinking about her. The temptation would not be there any more.
But suddenly it was the week of graduation. He only had three more lessons left with her. And suddenly his longing for the girl's graduation flipped, he couldn't bear it.
Whatever he might have thought, however alone he might have felt, it had been different for the past year. Knowing that he was alone, but that somebody there cared for him, somebody there wanted him too be, and suddenly she wasn't going too be there any more. She would go off and no doubt forget him. And he wouldn't get to see that face, he had come to cherish, every day. And it had been her in his mind every day that made him almost want to get up. Facing the day, even the fears of being around her, didn't seem quite so bad because he loved that he could be around her at all.
And apart from any of that, apart from his sudden realisation that he loved the damn girl, she was the only one who was actually worth teaching. What would be the point when she left? Years of students all wearing invisible dunce caps lined up in his mind. Dull and lifeless and irritating.
He just couldn't bear her departure now it came down too it. Just as the earth wouldn't bear it when the sun gave in. He would be a shell without her, like he had before her, and he hated the idea of becoming that again.
Yet there was nothing he could do. Graduation day came, and all too soon it ended. Their suitcases were packed, they were all ready too go.
Snape could never be bothered too wave their much loved students away like the rest of the sentimental teachers, this year he just couldn't face it.
He strode blackly down too the dungeons, and skulked around his office. Clearing it up, checking everything would be in order for next year's damnable lessons, trying too think of anything but her. He almost felt angry at her. For leaving Hogwarts, for graduating and going too get a life of her own that would have nothing to do with Hogwarts, and nothing to do with him.
Suddenly his broiling thoughts were interrupted by a knock at his door.
'Yes!' He said sharply, putting a book up on it's shelf.
He almost dropped it when he saw who it was. He turned too face her.
'Yes, Miss. Granger?' He asked rather slowly and warily.
'I... I just wanted too say...' What did she want too say? She had so many things she wanted too say too him, but she couldn't say them- could she? No, it took most of her Gryffindor bravery just too have come here and be saying this as it was.
'I just wanted to say thank you. For everything you've taught us and... And I hope you know, that even if you think none of the students liked you or appreciated anything you taught us, I did. And I know that they'll benefit from everything you taught us whether they realise it or not. And...' She couldn't seem too help herself. 'I just wanted you to know that I still like you... A lot. So... If you ever need anything, anything at all from me, I would be most happy too oblige.'
Snape was looking unwaveringly at her, he hadn't moved an inch. What should she do now?
'That's all.' She finished nervously, and turned too leave the room.
Snape's mind was in a turmoil. She was going, good really... But could he just leave it like this? Of course he could... No. He couldn't. He felt himself tremble as he called out.
'Hermione...'
She turned shocked, her hand leaving the door.
'I have treated you abhorrently in the past, but perhaps then you ought to know... I never did dislike you, I don't dislike you now. And although I still think you are a know-it-all, I by no means think that that is a bad thing-'
He stopped, alarmed too see tears pricking her eyes.
'I'm sorry- have I said-...'
'No! Don't be!' She ran too him and hugged him- hard.
He wasn't quite sure what to do. She really was standing too close too him now... But then he stopped over-thinking everything- and he just wrapped his arms carefully around her, and held her back, breathing in her fragrant hair.
'Go on sir.' She said into his shoulder.
'I...' He was lost for words. 'I just hope we have the chance to meet again some day.'
She pulled away, her eyes shining, and looked straight him. He had never realised before that she was only a couple of inches shorter than him, he had known however for a long time that she was beautiful. 'We will do... Severus.'
And both knew that this was enough, each could part their ways, and live their lives. But their lives would never again be separate, no matter how far away from each other they were. They could both look forward too a meeting that may or may not happen, but whether or not it did didn't matter, they would be happy just in the knowledge that they were both still on the world, that they both would think of each other, that one cared what happened to the other. And in the knowledge that if they were too meet again, anything might happen.
They pulled apart and shook hands.
'Good luck Hermione.'
'Good luck Severus.'
After a moment, she turned with a little smile on her face, and left.
Snape turned back to sorting out his office, his face somewhat softened, and with a little smile tugging at his lips. One that would never quite quit his face, even if it was only in a hidden twinkle of his eyes. He was not alone.