The infamous red hat wearing boy browsed the Internet with an expression of incomprehensible loathe. He was so fed up with penis length increase ads and ignorant religionists' existential rants that he tore off the face of Pikachu, who was masturbating for no reason at all. He violently shoved the face up his mouth then arduously chewed it with his pearly-white nigger teeth, gaining the power to fly with Pikachu's facelessness alone. His muscles grew tenfold. With a massive jump, Ash took off into space. The vacuum tried to suffocate him to death, but he used Mega Kick which landed with a critical hit, granting him the title of Ashtroboi Twatface. He then drove further into the hostile depths of cosmos, singing of futility of crying over dead ones...
The flaming knuckle of Ashtroboi Twatface smashed into the hideous skull of a half-thawed alien zombie snowman, flingin its ruined fleshsack to the past, where it pitilessly bit vampire walruses on Pluto so the history changed and now there are half-alien half-walrus thawing zombie snowman vampires on Pluto. It was a bit lonely up there, so his tear-ducts shot bullet banana peels at Pluto's fetid surface, turning it into a matreshka made entirely of a single Durant who screamed for naught. Then he phoned May, told her to fuck herself gently, and rubbed his palms, quietly laughing with a trollface resembling that of Monty Burns from Simpsons.
Ashtroboi caught Earth throwing chewed paper at him, so he summoned from the future his grandson, who was a Yoshi crossbred with an electric shaver, and wrung him out at Earth, soaking it in the dinorazor's blood which made all cacti explode and all clouds rain bile, which in turn made every skyscraper explode 72,64 degrees east through time, cursing all who say 'that' with a perpetual smell of death piss from their bellybuttons which can't be washed out. The Earth still laughed at that pathetic display of power and and this time assailed him with papers which had printed fanfictions depicting Ashtroboi being dismembered, tortured, mentally damaged, taxed to death, banged with a rusty lead pipe, etc.
Ashtroboi roared at Earth as his eyes became anger marks, big as screaming Wailords, and his arms became antimatter tank guns made of chainsaws which cut even space, and inside the each chainsaw a leukocyte sang of hatefulness of religious ways. He shot the Earth with them and the wicked blasts hit Brockerman, who was sucking his own cock like a fucked-up question mark. He bitchslapped Ash then rudely hilted a laser bazooka in his bumhole, making him flail like a decapitated paranoid Combusken. Brockerman laughed until Ashtroboi figured the bazooka, then took his trousers off and should be addressed Ashboi from now on.
Ashboi vomited glue all over a passing alien spaceship for no reason, then withdrew from a hole in his consciousness an alebarda, which was a weapon of evil which ravaged nearby devices with dirtiest Lopunny gay porn gifs. Ashboi did thrust the pornblade through the fleshsack of Brockerman and kicked hard in his face, knocking his skeleton out, which Ashboi caught mid-air and mated into sublimation even before they both touched the ground!
Brock's flesh made acid techno sounds as it steadied itself straight. It threw a bunch of used fly glue boards at Ashboi, turning him into a pitiful old woman. But, turns out this wasn't a simple one. It was that scout grandma from Madagascar! "BAD KITTY!" she screamed, channeling death ki into her limbs, as her veins popped everywhere and her skull threatened to explode. He somewhat regretted dreaaing up like a barbarian, causing the granny's blurry vision to mistake it as a lion.
"Wat in de xplodin ffu-" Brock was cut off, as the brutal alien granny kicked Brock's nutsack into his brain, deftly tied and nailed his nipples behind his back, bit his nose off then finalized the ritual by ripping out the mighty dick of Satan and continuously slapping Brock's face with it. The genitalia turned into a sword which was made entirely of the filthiest of filthstep drops, and shone with darkness most putrid and wicked. She was about to fillet him into brockblocks, but he parried the blows with headbutts, then gobbled the sword down, which stopped the time. He used the chance and drew on her forehead a set of new universe laws that even helminths will follow, in ostrich's cock blood;
1. Baby, someone ripped off my dick and built a Minaret with it.
2. It's Pokemon Emerald, not Spike 'em one, er, dicksalt.
3. From now on, I forbid to wear any clothes from 'Gucci', 'Lewis', 'Dolce & Gabbana', 'Nike' or 'Reebok'. Everyone shall ditch them in a large box near my mansion. They will be replaced with 'Dickweasel', 'Bitchtits', 'Arsegremlin', 'Bogshite' and 'Cumwipe' firm clothes, respectively. Anyone who shall oppose this law will be tattooed in their face with words 'Twatwaffleslag', 'Thundershiteclown', 'Nutsacktodger', 'Shithousewanker' and 'Knobjockeygit' retrospectively.
4. This is law 7.
5. Male orgasms are forbidden from now on. All during the honeymoon, males shall play pinball with ardor while females will masticate to it. MASTICATE, I say.
6. Every 13th September, you shall unearth corpses of ancient skeletons to use as a material and build my matchless castle, which will sternly follow there proportions;
1) 10000,2 nanometers in height.
2) 2553187 parsecs in radius.
3) Fuck width.
4) 0,1 exabytes in weight.
5) Must have only 5,7 dimensions; X, Y, Z, and Brock God of Blindness.
The builder(s) must be sharp and follow these specifications unyieldingly, otherwise the construction will be smashed upon the ruined face of the one(s) who botched it up.
7. I DON'T HEAR YOUUUUUUUU, GO FECK URSELF WITH A RUSTY LEAD PIPE
8. Wind is a lie. Give it zero attention, just as water. They both lie about their races, even to their diaries.
9. All thawing walrus vampires shall dress like clowns, crack PMS jokes and transport on monocycles from now on, as a thank you for me leaving them alive.
10. Kess mey, yah derti-shmerti boai!
11. All your meme belong to us.
12. If you see, writhe.
As Brock finished scarifying the commandments of his fucklorddom on the face of his nemesis, he printed his mascot with lasers from his tear ducts, then made sounds which sounded like 'ha', but many times in a row. The mascot looked like a blind face drawn by the hand of an idiot. The insolent pissfaggotry enraged the granny so much, she unstopped the time with her mind. But she had to sacrifice her body for it, so she became Ashboi again.
Ashboi wasn't like Ashboi, he was like Ashboi drawn by a rage comics artist. Rage Ashboi used Rage, breaking every possible law in the galaxy, breaking the galaxy, breaking the sky, breaking the reality, breaking the space, breaking the fourth wall, breaking himself, breaking you.
Brendan laughed.
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