Merry is on the road with the mysterious Dernhelm. Here is a sample of his thoughts over the course of the ride...
Could a horse be any more uncomfortable? My legs are stretched so wide, I'm in danger of becoming the only Brandybuck never to leave an heir.
Dernhelm doesn't talk nearly as much as Pippin.
I wonder if I'll still be hidden under Dernhelm's cloak when we get to Pelennor Fields. Perhaps I can slice a hole in it, and fight through that.
Dernhelm doesn't talk as much as Strider, either.
Scouts report Orc hosts on the eastern border. I'm beginning to wonder if coming along was such a good idea...
I will never be able to sit comfortably again.
Why is it that, every time we stop for a piss, Dernhelm dashes into the deepest clump of brush on the prairie? Everyone else just uses the most convenient tussock. Did he have a bad interpersonal experience as a child? Is he just incredibly shy? Perhaps he has trouble with his bowels. Actually, I'm surprised more horsemen don't have that problem, considering what they go through on a regular basis.
(Back in the saddle): Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Dernhelm clams up almost as bad as Cousin Frodo when he doesn't want to share something. Does Dernhelm have a lot on his mind? I hope he doesn't have anything arcane in his pockets—like another Ring, or a palantir. I've had enough of those, thank you very much!
If I were a lass, I could ride side-saddle.
Just when I got used to the Riders, I get to meet Ghân-buri-Ghân. The bad news: his grass skirt could stand to be slightly longer, when worn around someone of my stature. The good news: we get to walk for a while. Hooray!
I've never seen anybody who doesn't talk as much as Dernhelm! Pity; he has a nice voice when he speaks. Very light, almost hobbity.
Don't you hate it when the king is right?
I wonder if Pippin had this much trouble with Shadowfax...