Books » Discworld » void on a turtle Author: octoyeti 1. the call of the grorbe 2. searching for the horizon 3. Night time conversation 4. differently citizen 5. meeting the Vimaire 6. polished rumor 7. the bun, the wand and the notes 8. the runaway's wardrobe 9. preparation 10. The smug criminal 11. the hourglass is running 12. Rincewind on a boat 13. Overbearing matriarchs Rated: T - English - Mystery/Humor - Reviews: 17 - Published: 10-08-17 - Updated: 09-14-18 id:12681555
Hello.
This is my first fanfiction, and when I think about it, it's a strange blend for a crossover.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it.
I also await any critic and advise from you, be it about the writing, the presentation, or mistakes I made with the characters of either story.
I don't own either the Discworld nor FoZ.
(this chapter was edited the 4 March 2018)
(27/09/2018) thanks to a guest, I noticed that I forgot the "I" in the last sentence of the chapter, and corrected it.
Discworld, ############ (1) #######'s room.
Once again she tried to catch inspiration, and once again, the inspiration proved to be quite good at dodging a woman furious gesticulation.
For half an hour, she was unable to write down anything. It should not be that complicated for a literary genius like to write down something good without trying. And yet she could not come up with an idea worth a thought.
*I bet Leonard of Quirm must have faced the same problem* (2), she thought to herself.*Only this genius can understand what I'm going through*.
Disheartened by her inability to come up with a good plot for her future, and first, best seller, she did not see an inspiration changing its trajectory to hit her. To be fair, she wouldn't have seen it anyway, but had she been calmer, maybe she would have been wary of how "contrived" this idea felt.
"but of course", she whispered, amazed by both this idea and her own genius. She sat down, took her crow feather(3), and started writing down her masterpiece.
And while she was writing, she was being watched.
(1)It is impossible to locate, for reasons unknown from the narrator (1.1)
(1.1) not really, but this information will spoil latter events.
(2) Leonard De Quirm, in his workshop, was unable to sleep because of the excess of inspirations. The poor man would like to understand what she is going through, but the universe was not having it.
(3) While the disc has pens, any author worth a grain of salt knew that a feather was way better, especially if the feather had a thematic relation to the text it will write.
HALKEGINIA, TRISTAIN ACADEMY OF MAGIC.
"miss Valiere, you may start the summoning."
As proud as she held herself, Louise was incredibly nervous. Failing this ritual would be a calamity for her. She would lose all status, all honor, and worse of all, she'll be a laughing stock for all those students, who succeeded with only a hundredth of the effort she had put in her work. She had seen all of them bare one, make imperfect incantations and half-assed preparation. And yet they all succeed. They all got to be lazy, to have fun in their free time, but to even stay in this school, she had to work hard every instant of the day. Life sure was unfair to her.
She could hear the complaints, the jokes, and the insults of her fellow student. But she barely listened to them. She had more important things in mind.
"my servant who live somewhere in the universe..."
DISCWORLD, UNSEEN UNIVERSITY.
The bursar was also very nervous, but that was normal for him. He had somehow managed to avoid Ridcully, mostly because the Arch-chancellor was busy screaming at the young Stibbons. Still, the bursar intended to find a nice and silent place to rest.
"HA, bursar, there you are... I was searching for you"
Too late. The dean was walking toward him. Now he could only say goodbye to his silent nap.
"the Arch-chancellor says he needs you. He wants you to accompany him on his morning swim(4), he thinks a bit of sport might be good for your nerves. He is waiting for you at the."
The dean stopped mid-sentence. Right between the two of them, a sort of bright green orb had appeared. It passed right in front of them, then entered the nearest room, before coming back in the hallway, then again in another room, and so on.
"What Is That?"
(4) Arch-chancellor Ridcully is known, among other things for being the only person to swim in the Ankh river, whereas the average person just walks on it.
"Wow zero, this is disappointing even for you."
"Not even an explosion? I'm happy nobody got hurt this time, but it sure is boring."
"SHUT UP! I just messed up, I'm Going to get it right this time" Those annoying, pretentious jerks. They ruined her concentration, and now she had to do it again. She really hoped for her familiar to be so powerful that it would make all of them speechless.
"STUDENTS! Please remain polite and do note disturb miss Valiere. She was silent when you were summoning, I expect the same kind of behavior from you." Louise was thankful that professor Colbert was supervising the summoning this year. Other teachers would not have lifted a finger to keep the students under control. "Please retry the summoning miss Valiere."
She sighed. Well this time, it was Going to work.
"my servant who live somewhere in the universe..."
The Librarian was peacefully drinking his new favorite beverage(5), reading a book on the secret techniques of bartending, when a green sphere entered the library, followed by the whole senior faculty of the UU.
"BURSAAAAR, DID YOU SUMMON THIS GREEN ORB TO AVOID TAKING A SWIM? HOW LAZY CAN YOU BE?"
"He did not summon it arch-chancellor. Otherwise, he would not have needed 4 dried frog pills"
"Well if he did not do it, then who. So far he is the only one benefiting from it. What is it anyway?"
"I think it must be some sort of spell? Hey, I think it is moving faster and more erratically!"
"Ooook"
"What do you mean it look like it's searching something. What would it search? And Is that a Genua brown?" Asked Ridcully.
"Oook"
"Well, there is at least ONE PERSON in this university who can appreciate a good drink." His voice carried a fair amount of barely hidden disgust.
"is it the alcoholized version?"
"Eeek"
"well, it's better than nothing."
"Look, arch-chancellor, the orb is moving toward the High Energy Magic Department."
"Those annoying youngsters, they waste the university money, and now they meddle with grorbes..."
"With what?"
"with grorbes. This thing." said Ridcully, pointing toward the green floating object
"you know what it is?" The Dean asked.
"Of course not, Henry(6), but its green, and its an orb, and we need to give it a name. So I name it a grorbe" he started laughing "it's a nice one!"
The UU faculty imitated him, though it was obvious they did not get his joke.
"Well anyway, let's ask those youngsters what they're doing. Librarian, you're coming too."
(5) A few week ago, the mended drum hired a new bartender from Genua, a young man well versed in the art of cocktails. The librarian was rather fond of the banana, peanut butter, and macadamia nut, and even succeeded at reverse engineer the beverage. The Coffee, breadcrumb, butter, and milk is also a popular cocktail and commander Vimaire favorite.
(6) The real name of the dean.
"Please professor, let me try again."
"I'm sorry miss Valiere, but this will be your eighth try. I think it is time, you must face the fact" she could see that her teacher was not happy to say this. He clearly hoped she would succeed. But then, he had a point. She failed seven times, and she would probably fail another.
"Yeah Valiere, admit you are a zero!"
"Gramon! That would be seven days of suspension if you say anything more! And that is true for all of you. If you don't have constructive comments to give, then remain silent."
"Please professor. You know how much I work compared to the other students. Please let me try again." She was crying, barely standing up. Even her rival seemed to be somewhat sorry. Losing your status is never fun, even more so when you don't even have proper magic.
"Very well, but this is your last try. As for the other, you may leave, but what I said still apply."
Louise calmed herself slightly. She knew she would fail this time. She just did not want to admit defeat in front of the other students. At least professor Colbert was respectful enough to not mock her on her incoming failure.
"My familiar somewhere in the cosmos...(7)"
(7) She had given up on a perfect summoning now.
"Stibbons what is a meaning of this?"
"Ho, arch-chancellor. I suppose you are talking about this spell of inter-dimensional nature?"
"GRORBES! It is called A GRORBES!"
"I see you know the correct terms, sir."
"Wait, what?" asked the lecturer in recent rune.
"Well, a similar phenomenon was observed under the direction of arch-chancellor Alberto Malik(8), and he decided to name it grorbe since it is a green sphere of light"
"AHA! I told you it was called that! Anyway, Stibbon, why did you created a grorbe when you could use the money we give you on something more productive?"
"Created it? The grorbe is not created. It is a very old spell, probably two thousand years old at least. That is the second time it is observed in two thousand years."
"STIBBONS! We do not care about that! What is this thing doing here?" The arch-chancellor wanted answers, and he would have them.
"Well, it appears to be searching for something."
"Searching what?" The dean asked.
"That's the fascinating part. We don't know. But this spell can supposedly locate anything. And it can't find what it is searching."
"Ooook" The librarian pointed at the grorbe(8) while sipping a mug of Genua brown. The grorbe was changing color, becoming bright red.
Suddenly, it exploded in a bright octarine(9) light, but without any sound nor explosive power.
When the UU staff opened their eyes, they were still blinded by the flash, but they could hear the sob of a young girl.
(8) We will be using this term from now on since it is apparently the academic denomination.
(9)Octarine is the eighth color of the spectrum, visible only by the mage and magical creatures.
Louise fell on her knee, hiding her in her hands. She had failed again. She did not even need to look. She just wanted to curl into a ball and forget everything...
"BURSAR! BURSAR! WHERE THE OUCH! WHOSE LEG WAS IT! TELL ME WHOSE LEG IT WAS!"
"Arch-chancellor, please do not scream. We are already blinded, we do not want to become deaf."
"SHUT UP AND FIND ME WHO HIT ME IN THE ARG. WHO WALKED ON MY FEET!"
Those where not voices she knew. Furthermore, they were talking Albionese, but with some weird accentuation.
"Ooook"
"WELL, YOU COULD BE CAREFUL. IF I DID NOT WEAR A PAIR OF DWARVEN SOCKS, IT WOULD HURT LIKE HELL."
"EEEK"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE IS A CHILD IN THE ROOM! STIBBONS IS YOUNG, BUT I AM SURE HE IS OLD ENOUGH TO HEAR. OUCH!"
"OOOOOOOOOOK"
"ANOTHER CHILD? THAT IS SOBBING? I DON'T HEAR IT!"
"Ooook"
Louise decided to look. As soon as she opened her eyes, she was met with a chaotic scene. Multiple old men, many young adults, and one orange creature. They were bumping into each other, screaming and complaining. Many measurement tools were laying on the floor, next to a completely immobile old man with an ear-to-ear smile. Multiple people were crawling on the ground and the orange creature was shaking one of the old men.
"I'm sorry Librarian, I did not want to punch your drink."
It then hit Louise. She did not know where she was, or how she arrived here.
"WHERE AM I?"
chapter end