What Are The Odds

by AndThenThereWasOne

None of this should have happened. They went to the drawing board, they planned this mission out from beginning to end. But now, everything has gone terribly wrong. People are unconscious, missing, injured, and dead. Meanwhile, Alex is here, trying to make sense out of all this chaos. But sometimes, in order to understand the present, you must travel back to the past. Rated T/M.

Alex's Confession

It wasn't supposed to happen.

I know, that is what they all say, but have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, they aren't all wrong. Maybe it was not supposed to happen that way. Maybe they went to the drawing board and they came up with every scenario, every possible outcome but the one they received. Maybe the world was truly against them and no matter what they tried to do, life simply was a losing battle. Because that's what happened in the case for us. That is exactly what went down. So, trust and believe when I say, "It wasn't supposed to happen." Because it simply wasn't.

There is no logical way to explain it. There is no reason that Kara is unconscious on this table and Maggie is missing. There is no explanation to how James is dead and when Winn and Mon-el are injured this badly. There should be no reason J'onn is staring at the me the way he is. It makes no sense that I am the last one standing—broken and bruised.

Had we known this reality was a possible outcome, we wouldn't have done what we did. We wouldn't have disobeyed orders to save the day. We would have sat back and waited for a better—a more favorable result. If we had known, please believe me, we would have turned around and allowed these months to play itself out. Maybe then things wouldn't be so fucked up.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I honestly don't know anymore. All I know now is that we fucked up brutally. The things we have done cannot be undone. James won't come back just because we ask him to. Mon-el and Winn won't be healed because we wish it into existence. Kara won't wake up. Maggie won't reappear. I won't forget.

It wasn't supposed to happen.

It wasn't supposed to happen.

It shouldn't have happened.

He wasn't supposed to be there. He promised me that he wouldn't. She wasn't supposed to be working with them. We didn't anticipate her working with them. If we did, we might have seen the tear within the plan. We would have seen that it was barely hanging on by the seams and we would have went back to repair it. We wouldn't have gone on the mission if we had any idea.

You have to believe me.

What happened?

I'll tell you, but you aren't going to like it. God knows I don't.