I suppose I should start out by telling you my name. I'm Persephone, daughter of Zeus and Demeter, and I am a goddess. Well, at least that's what the myths say. I mean technically I am, but really I don't feel like one. Everyone is always so focused on my father or mother that I might as well be a big clod of dirt. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. I'm definitely better than a clump of dirt, and in fact there's one whole myth about my mother and uncle Hades and I…that whole fiasco was beyond weird.
My uncle Hades kidnapped me and forced me to be his wife and become the Queen of the Underworld. My mom saved me, but not before I stupidly ate a pomegranate seed from the Underworld, which guaranteed that four months out of the year, I was stuck in that stupid, dank, hole. In fact, because I'm stuck down there for so long, every year, during the time when I'm gone, my mom goes into this huge depression, which in result causes me to have a huge guilt trip about my stupid fruit cravings, and also causes all the crops to die, and the air to grow cold. So I guess you could say that I caused winter! But other than that I haven't gotten much recognition. But then again when your dad is Zeus, its kind of hard to.
Life at Mt. Olympus is basically like every soap opera you've seen rolled into one, only twice as dramatic due to the fact that everyone has superpowers. For example, my mother Demeter is the goddess of agriculture and the harvest and can change the seasons, kill everyone's crops and do a whole bunch of other really cool stuff. My dad, well, he's not so cool. Sure, he's the king of all gods and stuff, but he's got an awful temper, and he's related to practically half of Greece just because he can't seem to keep his pants on. So yeah, I guess it's hard to pay even a little attention to me, when I have all these crazy melodramatic relatives everywhere. After a while, you'd think you'd get used to it. Key word being "think". I admit that every time I hear about someone starting a war out of boredom, or someone hooking up with a mortal or something forbidden like that, I still am a bit surprised. I've learned a lot of good lessons though. They range from never bribing someone to give you a golden apple, to never swallowing your children, to the most important lesson of all. Life is unpredictable, life is crazy and life is full of surprises. That's the only thing you can expect out of life. So trust me on this. I'm an expert.