TRTSS27: Elementary, My Dear Ranma! – By DS Wynne
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, ST, Sherlock Holmes and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a multi-genre one-shot.
Special Note: This story takes place in Great Britain, circa Victorian era, sometime after the formation of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
1880s CE: London, Great Britain.
It was the best of times…it was the worst of times.
After an adventure in the Hollow Earth, the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen decided to take a break from protecting Queen and Country, and the rest of humanity, for that matter, and relax. Well, there was a genuine reason why the team needed to take a break from their usual heroics…
Usagi enters the room of her husband's study with bags in hand. She was dressed in the style of a proper British lady. After all, she was a Japanese royal whose husband is the official ambassador to Great Britain…
"I'm leaving you, Ranma," Usagi said. "I really, really…REALLY mean it."
Ranma, who was looking at fire-flies in a jar, continued his violin playing.
"Ranma, didn't you hear me?"
"Of course I did, dear," Ranma said, as he stopped playing his music instrument while sitting in his chair. "I was busy trying to match the harmonics of the flies' fluttering wing."
Usagi shakes her head. Ever since that encounter with the Old Ones, Ranma hasn't been quite right in the head. She was hoping that her usual antics, coupled with the drugs he has been taken, will shake him out of his madness…
"Besides, you know that I'll simply stalk ya into submission."
"And I don't mind that," Usagi said, as she drops her bags, gets on her knees, and leans on Ranma's lap. "You used to surprise me by giving me your heart and your 'sword'. Now…you're playing with bugs."
"Not bugs, 'lampyridae'," Ranma said, as he plucks his violin, given to him by a lovely lady who loved to take a trek to the stars…
"Now flying to the Moon, little bunny," Ranma said. "I must continue my research."
"Fine!" Usagi said, as she gets up. "See if I care!"
With that, Usagi storms out of Ranma's study.
"That…that man!" Usagi said, as she pours Mina Harker her tea. "I swear, he can be so infuriating at times…and this is before his present condition."
"Bunny, you have to be patient with him," Mina replied. "It's not every day that a man could face Cthulu, and make HIM blink."
"The only thing I care about is having Ranma back to his normal self-"
"Excuse me, mum," said Ranko, as she appeared in a maid's outfit. "Would you like to have more tea and crumpets?"
"See what I mean?"
Just then, the door bell rang.
"I will be back, mum," Ranko said, as she curtsey before turning away to the front door.
"Well, as per your suggestion, I hired a family doctor to treat Ranma's medical condition," Usagi said.
"He is good at his craft," Mina said. "And that includes the exotic."
"I hope you're right, Mina," Usagi said. "I hope you're right…"
"May I present to you Dr. Arthur Conan Doyle, me Lady," Ranko said, as she ushers in the medical practitioner into the tea room.
"Ah, Dr. Doyle, it's good to meet you at last," said Usagi, as she presented herself.
"It is an honor to meet Lady Usashinko Rantsu, the wife of Lord Ranshin Rantsu, Nipponese ambassador to Great Britain, at last," Conan Doyle said.
"No, the honor is mine. Dr. Thaddeus Bombay speaks highly of you."
"Well, I'm glad to hear it, madam."
"Oh, and this is my friend, Mrs. Mina Harker…"
"Charmed," Dr. Doyle said, as he took the woman's hand, noticing how cold her touch was. "I heard much about you, Mrs. Harker."
"Oh?" Mina asked.
"Yes, read your collected works concerning the phenomenon known as 'nosferatu'. They are popular amongst the occult."
"But you ARE a man of science, are you not?"
"Of course, madam. Usually, what is considered to be something out of the supernatural is nothing more than a natural phenomenon."
"Trust me, not everything can be determined by 'simple science' or reason."
"Well, I prefer to believe that science has yet to determine the means to decipher such mysteries."
"Humph."
"Will that be all, madam?" Ranko said.
"Yes, that will be all," Usagi said with a sigh.
Ranko curtsies, and leaves the tea room.
"Pretty girl, if you don't mind me saying so," Dr. Doyle said, as he glanced at the departing Ranko, before turning to face his new employer again. "So, when can I meet Lord Ranshin?"
"You've just met 'her'," Usagi replied.
"Pardon?"
"What do you know about the 'Pools of Sorrows at Jusenkyo, China, doctor…?"
A while later, after being thoroughly briefed on Ranma's condition, Dr. Doyle finally gets to meet Ranma.
"Tell me, Doctor," Ranma said, as he shuffled through his stack of papers. "Have you've seen the devil in the pale of the moonlight?"
"Pardon?" Dr. Doyle said, as he jotted down notes. He wanted to observe his patient.
"It is an expression made by someone of a villainous sort in the Year of Our Lord 1989."
"You're talking about the future."
"Future to you, the past to me. Or, is that the other way around…"
Ranma pulls out a sheet of paper.
"What do you see, Dr. Doyle?"
"It's a picture of a rather unsophisticated gentleman," Dr. Doyle said, as he looked at the picture. "Something you drew?"
"Actually, a street urchin did, in Whitechapel," Ranma said.
"If I recall, there is a crisis happening at this moment, involving a serial killer dubbed by the public as 'Jack the Ripper."
"Indeed, Doctor," Ranma said, as he brandishes a pipe. He then blew bubbles out it.
"A week ago, while participating in a function at a state dinner, one of the guests came to me seeking help in finding the perpetrator of his murdered niece, thanks to being familiar with myself and associates rather…unique talents."
"Oh, dear," Dr. Doyle said. "So, what are you going to do?"
Ranma kicks up a nearby hat, catches it, and then places it on his head.
"Tonight, we hunt for a killer," Ranma said. "Are you trained in the art of observation?"
"Yes, I am," Dr. Doyle replied. "For example, I have been assigned to observe YOUR behavior, so that I can best treat your illness."
"I see," Ranma said, as he leans on a window. "Then try to keep up…"
With that, Ranma leaps out the window.
"Blood hell!" Dr. Doyle said, as he goes to the window. He had expected to see his patient's bloody remains, only to see Ranma tip off his hat, before going south on the main street.
"Humph!" Dr. Doyle said, as he hurries down the stairs, so that he could go after his patient…
Later that night, Ranma is examining the features of a prostitute's bosom, after borrowing Dr. Doyle's magnifying glass.
"Hmmm," Ranma mused.
"Look, if you're going to stare at me bosom like that, that'll cost you fifty quid," the woman said.
"Madam, I am simply collecting evidence for your protection-"
"What is going on here?" said a local police man, as he stops by. Scotland Yard was on full alert for all matter of strange behavior.
"My apologies, constable," Dr. Doyle said, as he pulls Ranma away. "We just wanted to help the police catch the scoundrel who is committing heinous acts of terror."
"What are your names again?" the policeman asked.
"Um," Dr. Doyle said, as he hesitated a bit. He didn't want his young practice be spoiled by some sort of scandal, so he desperately searches for a name.
He notices a newspaper about the findings of increasing the voltage of electricity available, making it possible to one day use electricity to power one's home…
"Watt…er…son," Dr. Doyle said nervously. "Watson."
"And your friend?" the police officer said, as he sees Ranma examining the store front of Shore Loch Haberdashery, owned by Malcolm Homes and ons…
Dr. Doyle thinks for a minute.
"Sherlock Holmes, sir," Dr. Doyle said, as he grabs Ranma to get his attention.
"Pardon?" Ranma replied.
"Then, move along," the police officer said.
"Yes, sir," Dr. Doyle said, as he pulls his patient away. He then turns towards Ranma.
"What in blazes is that all about?"
"Arthur, a hunter of anything has particular qualities that he, or she, is looking for," Ranma said, as he and his doctor walked away. "It is these behavioral characteristics that can lead us to the type of people who would want to harm a…'woman of the night'. Perhaps such a woman reminds the culprit his mother, or a lost love."
"I see now," Dr. Doyle said with a nod. "Observation can lead to profiling."
"Precisely. Now, while I was talking to that lovely young lady and her associates, I might have discovered a pattern of behavior, one that can be taken advantage of…"
Pause.
"Now, let's finish this case!" Ranma said, as he pulls off his clothes with one tug of his suit while changing his gender. Now, he appeared to be an attractive, young lady who was of the working class, dress and all…
"Now, I will pretend to be a prostitute, while you keep watch," Ranko said, as she wrapped her shawl around her person. "Thanks to my interaction with the ladies, I now have the look that could attract our killer. Ta."
And with that, she disappears in a mist.
"I really ought to check out my patients' profiles before accepting an assignment," Dr. Doyle said, as he shook his head. He sees Ranko in the distance, as she waves her hand. With a sigh, Dr. Doyle began his task…
Ranko had turned down offers from prospective clients, until she spots her target.
"Come warm your bed this night, guv'nor?" Ranko said, as she spoke in a cockney accent.
The man, a rather thin, unassuming man, looks at Ranko. He had the look of a doctor from a higher class background…
"What is your name, luv?" the man asked, as he walks up to Ranko.
"You can call me 'Orchid'," Ranko said.
"Well, my lovely lady, we can do this. I have a room rented in the back of that bar."
"I assume that you were wealthy, sire."
"Let's just say that I have rather…unique tastes, one that I can only appreciate amongst the common folk."
"Oh. Well, whatever. Anything you want, sire."
"Yes," the man said, as his eyes flickered with fire, as he pulls the girl away from the throngs of people. "Anything I want…"
Meanwhile, Dr. Doyle sees Ranko and a man going down an ally.
"I better catch up, before someone gets hurt," Dr. Doyle said, as he follows the pair into the alley…
"Now, what is your pleasure?" Ranko asked, as she leans against the wall.
"Your terror," the man said, as he pulls out a rather wicked-looking knife.
"Anything you want…'Redjac'," Ranko said with a grin.
"What?" the man said, as he backs up. "How-?"
"You don't know me, but we will meet on Argelius II, when you set up a good friend of mine for murder," Ranko said.
With that, Ranko grabs the man's arms, and front kicks him into the wall opposite of her, just as Dr. Doyle rounds the corner.
"What happened?" Dr. Doyle asked.
"We caught our culprit, of course," Ranko said.
"Thank god-"
Just then, a ray of light appears overhead.
"No!" Redjac said. "You will not take me!"
Just as Redjac disappears in the light, a vapor of red mist escaped from the man's lips, before dissipating into the air…
And then, there was darkness again.
"What is God's name is going on?" Dr. Doyle asked.
"Angels took the body of Redjac to redeem him, while the rest of the demon's essence escaped," Ranko said with a sigh. She knew that the aliens known as the Vorlons, who were here on Earth at the time, had intervened, but the legacy of Redjac will continue, when more murders of women will continue. She also knew that Redjac was a Shadow experiment, used to create chaos on different worlds. But, she was not about to say something, least she disrupts the timeline too much…
"I don't understand," Dr. Doyle said.
"I will explain over dinner," Ranko said with a wink and a smile. "Your treat, of course."
"Humph. I'm not getting paid enough for this…"
And thus a legend is born that night. Years later, Dr. Doyle would use his exploits, as the physician of Ranma Saotome, for the basis of a series of books that would be well-received the world over. Elementary, indeed it is.
Fin.