iFell for a Devil
Most knights fall for the princess, not the dragon.
- x - x - x -
He could have had anyone.
He could have fallen for a doll, a beautiful daisy, one of those polite, innocent girls. The kind that would swoon for a guy with flowers, the kind who enjoyed a boy holding open a door for them. He should have fallen for one of those girls.
Hell, it'd have made a lot more sense if he had fallen in love with a girl like that.
If you asked him just why he fell for that demonic girl, he'd probably just shrug.
Because she's Sam. And he didn't need any more reasons.
It was the little things he lived off, every sparse glance he shared with the girl whole stole his heart. No, he hadn't told her, and he wasn't about it- he suspected that should he decide to confess, there was a chance that Sam would, well, be Sam. In other words, get violent, and Freddie liked his balls as they were. The last thing he wanted was to give Sam a reason to make sure he never had kids.
So he kept his heart to himself, pretending to be his normal self. He still fawned over Carly, and for every insult Sam shot at him, he shot back two (then received a punch in the gut.) No one suspected anything of the technical producer, save for one odd ball.
"So." Freddie glanced briefly over at the giant apple shaped sculpture made of, what else, potatoes, behind which Spencer was carving yet another potato piece for his newest art work.
"Yea?" the Galaxy War geek responded casually, his eyes returning back to his work. Today, he was programming some titles for two new sections of iCarly. For some reason though, he was having trouble getting 'Meatball Dodgeball' to rotate correctly.
Spencer took a few moments to ask his question, seemingly concentrated on squeezing wood glue onto the side of the potato. "What…" The long haired man paused for a moment, to squeeze the potato into place. Freddie adjusted the timing on the rotation- maybe some of the objects were inferring with each other? "… is your relationship with Sam?"
The question was a total blindside. "Shit." The curse slipped from Freddie's mouth, as he had accidently hit Ctrl-V, rather then Ctrl-C. Deleting, of course, his entire rotation timing code and replacing it with a teeny segment of 'object-rotation:360-dgr'. An easy fix, sure. Unfortunately, no Ctrl-Z could undo Spencer's question.
"You don't like her, do you?" Spencer's voice took on a teasing tone, although subtle. Well, as subtle as the flamboyant artist could be.
"That devil?" Freddie responded, clearly distracted as he continued to modify his rotation code. "Yea right." Damn it, sometimes Spencer was just too sharp. How Spencer knew beyond him! He'd been more then discreet, his behavior no different then it had been for the longest time. Freddie was smart.
Not as smart as he thought, perhaps. "Oh really." This wasn't just any 'oh really'. This was Spencer disbelieving 'oh really.' Sucking in his breathe, the browned haired twenty nine year old pivoted around, eyes brows raised. Concentrating harder on his laptop, Freddie let out a small, nervous laugh.
"Don't be stupid."
"I'm not," Spencer immediately defended, starting to sway back and forth on the souls of his feet, "I'm just saying, you've been acting awfully odd around her -"
Odd? He'd been acting odd? No, he'd been acting perfectly normal! Hell, the nerd had even gone out of his way to flirt with Carly! There was nothing out of the ordinary about his behavior and no one suspected a thing, especially Sam. Ooh, he really didn't want to lose his ability to reproduce. "No I haven't!" the sixteen year old snapped, "She's a complete noob, and a bitch, and a freaking wolf in sheep's clothing -" The words spewed out frantically, and a maniacal grin appeared on Spencer's face.
"Ah ha! So you do like her!" The victorious shout came accompanied by a dramatic pointing with the wood glue. Which, missing it's cap, shot out and splattered onto the couch and floor. Freddie bit his tongue, mentally freaking out, a heavy blush rising to his cheeks. There was a heavy silence, as Freddie eyed the older boy, and Spencer eyed the spilt wood glue. "Oh, damn."
Forcing himself to admit defeat, Freddie was glad neither of the girls were in the apartment. They'd both run down to the Groovy Smoothie, leaving the two boys alone. So what if Spencer knew? They were both guys. They could relate on stuff like this, right? "… you won't tell Carly?"
The older boy laughed, shaking his beautiful mane. "Don't worry, Fredd-o." Setting the glue down, Cary's brother retreated into the kitchen, and Freddie took a moment to sigh. Damn. He really had tried to be subtle about the whole head-over-heels thing. Spencer remerged a minute later, equipped with paper towels, some wet and some dry.
"Yea." Freddie's answer was concise, and detail-less. But that was just how guys functioned. Unlike girls, they didn't rattle on and on and on and on about their feelings, reminiscing aloud about every strand of hair and every word that came from their girl. Their approach was much more simpler.
"How long?" Keeping his eyes fixed on the door, Freddie pondered that question over in his mind. How long had he been infatuated with the violent girl? Letting his eyes slip shut for a second, his mind brought him back to when, for seven seconds, he had been in heaven.
"When we kissed." Glancing up from where he was rubbing the wood glue off from the floor, Spencer looked at Freddie curiously.
"Wasn't that like, last year?" Blush growing a little darker, Freddie nodded with clear embarrassment. After a pause of silence, he glanced back over at Spencer, only to find the older boy chortling into his sleeve. "Spence!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" This time, Spencer laughed out loud, pushing himself back up. "It's just that, you know, when most guys like a girl, they, well…" Turning his head pointedly away, Freddie crossed his arms. "… do something about it." The older boy's voice became a little more controlled as he finished, his laughter dying down.
Instead of answering, Freddie refocused on his computer. He didn't want to respond to that statement. Yea, maybe he should have done something already. Maybe he should have gotten down on one knee, at some point during those twelve long months, and spilled his heart. But the thing was, he wasn't most guys. And Sam wasn't most girls, either.
Biting his tongue, Spencer frowned awkwardly at Freddie, who was pointedly staring in the other direction. The older boy turned once again, disappearing into the kitchen. When he reappeared, he carried a two-pack fat cake. Freddie gave no sign that he noticed Spencer, as the older boy plopped down on the couch beside him.
"Fat cake?"
"Pass," grunted Freddie, not even sparing a look at the deliciously fattening treat.
There was a signature ripping of plastic sound as Spencer tore into the sweet, humming as he did so. Wordlessly, the second fat cake was offered to the younger boy. There was a moment of male bonding, before Freddie took the cake with a defeated sigh.
"She's completely unapproachable." Nodding sagely beside Freddie, Spencer took a bite of his fat cake as the techie continued, "Besides, if I did even try to tell her, I'm pretty sure she'd kill me."
It was all very true. Freddie was physically afraid of Sam, and the rage he banked on her having at his liking of her. What he wasn't going to tell Spencer though, was that it wasn't just that he was physically afraid of Sam. Emotionally, he was afraid. When she turned him down, when she stared at him, aghast, stunned that he would ever say 'I like you' to her (all things Freddie was sure she would do), how would he react?
This wasn't like what went on between him and Carly. That was honestly a simple crush. She was cute and nice, and captured his attention at the time. Sam was something else, like a planet to orbit around, the Galaxy to his Wars. Her ways intrigued him, and every day he found himself more and more enchanted with the vicious starlet.
If she turned him down, his heart would implode like supernova.
Spencer didn't respond immediately, taking a large bite of his fat cake. The artist chewed thoughtfully, a few rogue crumbs tumbling from the edges of the cake to the floor below. "She might not." It was an optimistic comment, and they both knew it.
"And she might." Sniffing at the fat cake in his hand, Freddie sighed again. "I know I'd end up regretting it."
"Well," Spencer replied wisely, "life's about having the right regrets." Taking a small bite of the edge of the fat cake, Freddie grunted lightly. It was hard to argue with Spencer.
"I don't think I could do it." Closing his eyes, Freddie imagined himself approaching Sam, flowers in one hand, chocolates in the other. Her, in a beautiful summer dress, and with a lovely smile. One that made his stomach flip.
Unrealistic.
That wasn't how things were, and wasn't how they were going to be. She wasn't a flowery kinda girl, and he wasn't about to become some uber romantic, ready to sweep the damsel off her feet. Hell, the one time he'd given her chocolates, at Valentines day, she'd stuffed them down his pants.
"You know Freddie, if you never try -"
"You'll never know. I know," Freddie interrupted sourly, sending a glare at Spencer. "I know that, but that doesn't make it any better." It was still hard. Hard to get out those words and tell her. Because she wouldn't like him. And then she'd kill him!
His and Sam's story was so unlike all the faerie tales his mother spoiled him on as a kid. And they'd live happily ever after. Yea right.
"Actually, I was going to say if you never try, you'll never get any of my rejection cookies," Spencer said matter-of-factly, as he polished off his fat cake with a few swift bites.
"Rejection cookies?" echoed Freddie, turning to look at the older boy. He couldn't be serious, right? Who on earth would want those?
As if reading his mind, Spencer explained cheerfully, "No, they're great! See, I made them for Carly after a guy in middle school turned her down." As Spencer launched into a description of the cookies - they were much more complex then your average chocolate chip carbohydrate treat - Freddie found himself smiling. Not just at the irony of the guy turning Carly down (now-a-days, it was always the opposite), but at the cheerfulness Spencer radiated. The artist was a pretty good pick-me-up.
"Sounds cool, Spence," Freddie commented lightly, as Spencer finished his little recipe explanation. Cookies wouldn't really be enough though. No special ingredients could heal a broken heart. There was nothing wrong with keeping little crushes, or even big crushes, to yourself. There was nothing wrong with keeping up his act, and treating Sam like she was his arch enemy.
If you've never heard the sound of potatoes covered with glue fall three feet before hitting solid ground, it's quite a sound. The word 'unique' comes to mind, because Freddie sure hadn't heard anything quite like it before. Neither had he ever heard anything like the shriek Spencer made, as the older boy leapt up.
"Oh no no no no!" Moving with clumsy haste, the artist slid around the side of the potato apple, and managed to catch a large piece as it fell. Freddie couldn't stop laughing, "This isn't supposed to happen!"
It took Spencer half an hour to fix his sculpture, this time covering the back side with duct tape. "Duct tape!" he declared as he finished, "Good for everything!" Once again, Freddie laughed at the twenty nine year old's antics. Sometimes, Spencer was even more childish then Sam.
The whole thing turned out to be a pretty good distraction. Busy fixing his project, Spencer hadn't once again attempted to strike up a conversation about Sam, which left Freddie to his computer and his thoughts. Finally he'd managed to fix the rotation on the title; turns out some of the Flash objects he'd been using had had conflicting coding.
"It wasn't my fault he was an annoying nub!" Both Freddie's and Spencer's attention flashed over to the door at the sound of the familiar voice.
"I'm just saying," the door clicked, and Carly swung open the door, "there were better ways to handle that." The brunette sounded amused, as she entered the apartment, leaving Freddie to wonder what shenanigans the two had gotten themselves into. Sam seemed particularly upset, her bottom lip protruding in a trademark Sam-pout.
"I handled it fine," Sam complained indignantly, as she bee lined for the couch. Looking up from his work, Freddie had to surprise a smile. She was cute when she pouted.
"He threatened you with a lawsuit." If anyone else had said that, it might have been more serious. Carly had a humored grin on though, as she winded around the potato apple without giving it a second glance, and slipped into the kitchen.
On the other hand, Spencer peered at his sister, frowning. "Please tell me you're joking," Spencer said. Carly laughed.
"Don't worry, it was kinda like self-defense." Pausing, she added, with extra emphasis, "Well, sorta ish."
"Who was the unlucky bastard this time?" Freddie piped up, smartly saving his work just before Sam slammed his laptop close.
"It's gonna be you in a minute, Fredwerd." Rolling his eyes for a second, the sixteen year old looked up to met the blonde girl's fiery ones. She stood there, arms crossed, eyes dangerous. It only made him grin more, like some masochistic idiot.
"Whatever, Princess Puckett," he sneered back, enjoying the confrontation more then he should.
His response visibly boiled her blood. Cheeks reddening with what only could have been rage, Sam leaned forward and grabbed his chin. This shocked him, to find her hands roughly handling his face, forcing him to peer into her infuriated eyes. "I'll deal with you later, Benson," she snarled, before releasing him without another word. Wow. Freddie thought, surprised that she hadn't ripped his face off. The demonic girl was pretty angry right now, angrier then normal.
Adding shock to surprise, with a defeated huff, Sam fell back onto the couch beside Freddie, her cheeks still red. Having known the girl for three solid years, Freddie knew this was definitely atypical behavior for his devilish love.
"So wait, what exactly happened?" Spencer asked for him, glancing from Carly to Sam and back. Carly was the one who answered, smiling apologetically as she recalled the story.
"Well, we were at the Groovy Smoothie waiting for T-bo to make the smoothies, when this really cute guy approaches us." Sam let out a grunt as Carly said cute guy. "Apparently, he's in Sam's history class -" Sam grunted again. "- and he was, you know, really nice -" Carly paused, waiting for Sam to object, but the blonde was just glaring silently at her feet. "- and he asked her out."
Freddie stiffened, his hands clenching around the sides of his iPear laptop. It shouldn't matter to him, though, who asked her out. He wasn't going to. No, no matter his feelings, him and Sam would never be an item. She could go out with whoever and… and…
And it bugged him. Thoroughly. Biting his lip, Freddie turned his attention to Carly.
"And how exactly does that lead to a lawsuit?" Spencer asked incredulously, frowning.
"Sam broke his arm," Carly said cheerfully, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Spencer laughed lightly this, nodding as if everything made sense.
"Oooh," Spencer said, leaving Freddie the only one still confused about the whole ordeal, "well sometimes you gotta break a few hearts - wait, you said heart, right?"
"Nope, arm," replied Carly cheerfully.
The artist froze, his face screwing up as he turned to look at Sam. "You broke his arm?" It was impressive how fast Spencer's expression morphed from amusement to horror.
"Well, he wouldn't take no for an answer!" Sam complained, her head falling back. Doing his best not to laugh, Freddie eyed the beautiful girl as she glared daggers at the innocent ceiling.
"So you broke his arm," Freddie clarified, the corners of his lips quirking up.
"Of course she did," Carly laughed, as she exited the kitchen, two shiny apples in hand, "she's Sam." Of course. That was Sam, without surprise. Violent, beautiful Sam. Who, by the way, had no interest in the apple Carly offered her.
"Ew, no," the blonde girl grunted, eyeing the apple with disdain. The corner of Freddie's mouth tipped up a little bit at her disdain of fruit. Then he recalled the fat cake he'd only nibbled. Leaning forward, he swiped it off the coffee table in front of them where he'd set it earlier.
He didn't really offer it to her. More like, he shoved it onto her. This was Sam. There was no way she'd turn down a fat cake, even if it was from him. By simply dropping it onto her lap, he saved them both from any real need to talk. She understood him, and he understood her. Her small smile was his 'thank you', as she sat up and latched her delicate claws around the squishy goodness.
"Mmm, mama loves her fat cakes," She whispered eagerly, before biting off the better half of the cake. The technical producer had to look away- her eating behavior, sloppy and shameless, made him want to snicker. On his other side, Carly sat, rolling her eyes.
"Really, Sam." She chuckled as she handed her spare apple to Freddie.
"Thanks," Freddie said as he took the shiny red apple. He didn't bite into it though. Strangely, he felt uneasy, sitting between the two girls as they snacked away. He didn't speak, not even to protest, as Carly turned on the TV. Girly Cow, one of the many shows they loved but he hated.
He was distracted, too distracted to pay any attention to the duo. Too distracted to pay attention to Spencer's shouts as his sculpture started to fall apart again. Too distracted to laugh as Sam screamed at Spencer, telling him she couldn't hear Girly Cow over his girly screams.
Too distracted by the girl he was in love with.
And too distracted to do anything about it.
- x - x - x -
A/N: Hopefully you enjoyed this old, little Seddie one-shot. :)
It was originally written in 2009 when I was 16.
It's now 2018 and I've gone in and cleaned up the grammar a bit.
It's funny how time flies, don't you agree?