This is my first POT fanfic. Actually I am only into Tenimyu ;; I am a tenimyu junkie so please don't blame. I tried to get them into character but I can't promise no OCC. This is a Gakuto x Eiji fanfic, so hope you will all like it. This fic is to the song "In Piecs" by Linkin Park, from tir new album inutes to Midnight, really good. -thumbs up-
I don't own anything, except for this concept.
XXX
Telling me to go,
But hands beg me to stay.
Your lips say that you love,
Your eyes say that you hate.
"Please, let go." I looked back at him. His hand tightens around my wrist. I didn't know what to say anymore, the acrobatic's head hung low, I couldn't see what those gleaming green orbs were saying. I shook his hand off of my wrist. I didn't know what he wanted, and neither do I want to figure it out anymore.
"Please, just tell me what you want for once." I stared bitterly at him. "Tell me what you really want. Don't play games; I am through with all this shit you throw at me."
He stared hopelessly at me, legs tangled in the sheets we have been in. His long legs toned to perfection of all those acrobatic lessons. The thin white sheet was draped across his lithe body, slowly sliding down one of his shoulders. I could feel his gaze on me, burning holes in the back of my head.
Was it hate?
Was it love?
I don't think I really care anymore.
I am so tired of your antics; I am so tired of you. I don't want to carry all your burdens anymore. I am through with all your emotional rides. I want to get out, I want to quit. I don't think I can stand anymore of this.
You are dragging me down; I want to know what you really are feeling. I don't want to guess your riddles and jokes. Can't you just be a book and let me read it. I for one can't stand it anymore, I want to get out of this madness you call a relationship.
I want to get out while I still can.
"Gakuto…" He slowly murmured my name as if to taste me once again. I turned around to look at the one I once loved, what a huge mistake. His eyes were icy cold as if to tell me to just get out of here and never come back. But I could see his hands fondling with the end of the bed sheets, just the way you always do as you try to drag me off to bed.
"Get out." His voice was a deadly snare, as if he couldn't get me out of the house fast enough.
Is this what you really want?
I really don't know anymore. You changed, I don't know you, you're not the Kikumaru Eiji I fell for. You are not the one I know, at least not anymore. I turned without looking back at you and walked out the door.
I've walked out of your life.
Just the way you wanted, right, Kikumaru?
There's truth in your lies,
Doubt in your faith.
What you build you lay to waste.
There's truth in your lies,
Doubt in your faith.
All I've got's what you didn't take.
"Nya, Gakuto?" I felt the wetness of his tongue as he licked the shell of my ear, making me pull away for a second before leaning back into his embrace.
"Hmm?" I gave out a hearty moan as his feather like hand caressed a particularly sensitive spot on my body.
"Would you ever cheat on me?" He asked me suddenly out of the blue. I raised an eyebrow at such question and questioned my acrobatic partner back.
"Why…?" I stared at him and gave a grin. "You wouldn't cheat on me, would you?"
He tears his gaze from my eyes and stared at the floor. He then shrugged and gave a short laugh. "Nya, never…"
I know right there and then that you lied; I am not stupid, at least not towards you. I know you better than anyone else.
Well at least I though I did.
"Ei-ji…" I whined, turning around so I can fully face him. His cat like features was smirking at me behind that mask of innocence. I don't know whether he was the devil or the angel.
Sometimes, I feel as if I know you. Like I know who is truly sleeping beside me at night, who I am curled up next to on the couch. But now I truly realized that I never knew you and most likely I will never know you. But there are too many times that I know you are just a stranger.
Everyone considers us to be the closest there is. But yet I feel you are a stranger to me. Is that right? I won't be surprise if it isn't.
We hit it off like two sparks. We seemed to be meant for each other. But like sparks, it dies out in a few seconds. Now we look at each other with gaze that can't even be considered for friends. So what are we?
What have we been doing all this time?
This is so stupid, how come I haven't found out earlier, how come I didn't want quits earlier. Now I laugh at my own stupidity, this is just a waste of time. I really have to leave before anything drastic happens. Before anything that would make me lose my heart completely. I got to go and as soon as possible too.
With you, I am only a waste. And with me, you're just having fun; this is all a game to you.
Because I learned for a fact, you aren't capable of loving someone.
At least not with your heart.
And never to the extent of what I felt for you.
So I, I won't be the one,
Be the one to leave this,
In pieces.
And you, you will be alone,
Alone with all your secrets,
And regrets.
Don't lie.
He was lying next to me, snoring quietly underneath the thick white blanket that covered both our bodies. I had my head propped up with my elbows as I stared at his gentle expression. His eyes suddenly opened a slit, staring straight at me. I smiled and ruffled his hair a bit, making him groan in response. He opened his eyes fully now, peering at me through those cat like yes.
I brushed a stray strand of red away from his eyes, he grinned at me.
I just stared at him with a gentle smile on my face; he pulled me down for a chaste kiss. I smiled against his lips as we pulled back. I laid down once more, this time parallel to his body. I stared at the plain white ceiling, listening to the rhythm of our breathing.
"Gakuto?" He suddenly called out my name, interrupting the steady beat of our hearts.
"Hmm?" I asked him, not bothering to turn and look at him.
"Do you want to know a secret?" I could hear the smile in his voice.
I nodded, knowing full well that he was staring at me, absorbing in every action I make.
He leaned in towards me and gave a gentle kiss to the base of my neck before whispering hot breaths of air into my ear.
"I think I finally fell in love with you."
I sat up and stared down at him, He gave me a playful smile and tried to pull me back into the holds of the heavy blankets. I leaned back, away from his reach. I stared into his eyes. I know this time he wasn't lying.
I laughed bitterly, making him stare at me in confusion. "You think?"
He just stared at me with those bright green eyes. And then I repeated his secret to him.
"You think you finally fell in love with me." I repeated in a deadly tone.
I have to get out of this; I have to before I am too deep in. If all the time we spent with each other was just a test run, then what about later? Would you tell me you fell out of love with me tomorrow?
I can't take this anymore. My life is not yours to control, you just can't tell me this and expect me to fall into your arms once more, totally in love with you again. I am not some kind of forgotten toy that you can come back to once you are bored with your new ones.
I am done and I want outs. I am getting out because I really don't need you to tell me those sugar coated lies all over again. I don't want to fall in love with you once again, and then have you tell me you're not even sure of your feelings.
I laughed then shook my head quickly. I picked myself up from the bed. I gathered a few pieces of my clothing and quickly dressed myself. I opened the door to our bedroom, I mean his bedroom.
He suddenly reached out to me and held onto my wrist tightly, preventing me from walking off further.
"Please, let go." I said firmly, looking back at him, I hope for the last time in my life.
Because I don't ever want to see you… ever again. I am through with all the shit you made me go through.
I hate you and I never want to see your face again.
You promised me the sky,
Then tossed me like a stone.
You wrap me in your arms,
And chill me to the bone.
You gave in to all my pleadings and wantings. You gave me all my desires; I was spoiled to the extent of my love to you.
"You are my everything." You told me, I truly did believe it when I was in your embrace and I was showered with kisses and love.
But now I really doubt it.
"I miss you." You wrapped your arms around my waist as I stepped through the door to our shared apartment. You pulled off my coat and draped it across a wooden chair. I lay a chaste kiss on your lips. You smiled and pulled me back for a second one. Innocent pecks of lips soon turned to a heated kiss that left both of us breathing deeply. You took a hold of my shirt and slowly dragged me into our shared bedroom.
Through heated kisses that you trail down my neck, you moaned. "I need you." Your hands wandered up my thin t-shirt, which was the only barrier between the two of us. Groping at my skin, I gasped as you brushed across a particularly sensitive spot. You pulled at my shirt, as if to tell me to take it off. I merely just smirk and did what was asked of me.
Our pants slowly turned to quiet gasps of breath as the rhythm of our breathing slowly calmed down. Sweat covered our body and glimmered in the dull glow of the light from the hallway. The room was dark and our limbs were still tangled together. "I love you." You quietly murmured into my ear, I smiled sincerely as I snuggled deeper into your embrace.
To you, our relationship finally started because you just realized your feelings for me.
But to me, this is the end. I finally figured it all out and there isn't anything that can keep me anymore.
Anyways, you lost it all when you told me your little secret.
There's truth in your lies,
Doubt in your faith.
All I've got's what you didn't take.
"I love you." He would always suddenly say. And I would always just blink at his sudden outburst and smile.
I would always smile; my smile is another way to tell him that I know and appreciate his sudden outbursts. I always smile when he tells me stuff like this. I go along with the flow; I go along with the tempo of your sayings. I go along but I know better than to believe in them because I can tell, I am not stupid, I am not that dense. I can tell, I can tell the difference between a lie and the truth.
But I did figured out one thing though, there are always a bit of truth in his lies.
But I just want to tell him to stop lying for once.
"Eiji?" I pouted at your figure buried deep in the sheets of our bed.
"Hmm?" You stuck your head out from under those blankets, bright red hair poked out as you stared at me with green orbs heavy with sleep.
"What am I to you?" I asked you as I spin around in my chair. You merely just looked at me with a sparkle in your eye and put a finger to your lips. I would always whine at you but you would always just smile and give me a peck on the nose.
"Eiji." I frowned at him as I tried to warn him. But he just gave me a smile and buried himself back into those thick blankets and continues on with his sleep.
I crossed my arms and got out of the chair, slowly slipping out the door I sat in a huff at the kitchen table.
So I, I won't be the one,
Be the one to leave this,
In pieces.
And you, you will be alone,
Alone with all your secrets,
And regrets.
Don't lie.
They called you an angel for being able to stand me. They respected you for being able to take all my tempers and tantrums. They told you I was selfish, arrogant, bitchy, annoying, and moody. Maybe I really am like that but you ignored all that and still took a chance with me. You said you loved me, you said you wanted to be with me forever.
But with you I learned there are no forever.
There was never a forever, at least not in our life time. Yes, we may have fallen for each other once, but never twice, never again. Feelings start off as heated and deep, then slowly it dies, it fades away. The next thing that comes will be another person.
Another one to replace the missing love.
I decided that I don't want to be the one to leave this relationship in pain; I don't want to feel the pain of seeing you go off. So I will leave you so I won't ever have to feel the pain.
I want to see the look on your face as you see my back go further and further away. And you will be in that lonely apartment, filled with our memories and happiness. You can stay there, feel the pain, and your newfound love for me while I carry on with my own life.
My own life, without you.
So I, I won't be the one,
Be the one to leave this,
In pieces.
And you, you will be alone,
Alone with all your secrets,
And regrets.
Don't lie.
The streets were cold, colder then I remembered. But maybe that's because I always got you by my side, to at least warm me up. But now you're gone, kicked out of my world. I am glad. I really am. I am not lying, I really aren't.
Because I hate you, I truly hate you, Kikumaru.
The cold wind blew once again, I felt something wet against my cheek. I raised a hand to feel the wetness on my cheek. It wasn't a tear… was it?
I couldn't be crying, I just can't be. What is there to cry about? It can't be him, it can never be him. He was nothing; he was just blurry images in my memories.
He was just Kikumaru, nothing more and nothing less.
I stepped through the empty streets, the sky was still dark but at least the falling snow was there to brighten up everything else. Each step I take carries me further away, further away from you. And for that I am glad and I can truly smile once again, even if it still hurts in my heart.
You will be pushed out of my thoughts just the way I pushed you out of my life.
Because no matter what, I won't be the one to break.
I will not be the one to leave this mess in pieces.
A gentle snowflake fell on to my cheek, it quickly dissolved into water it slides down my cheek, leaving a trail behind looking all too similar to a tear stain.
I smiled.
XXX
Like? No like? Comments? Criticisms? Tell me. I want to know. I want to see how I did on my first POT fanfic, if I do good I may try to write more fics about Gakuto, cuz he is just so darn lovable! Review anyone?
Kuro