Their Second Great Escape
Fred woke up to the sound of annoyed muttering. George was trying to charm his hair into a style that wouldn't show his cursed ear.
"You'll never be as good-looking as me, you might as well stop trying," Fred smirked, and pulled off his pyjama top.
"You don't think women will love this?" George flashed the gap on the side of his head. "I have a battle wound my friend, I'm dark and mysterious, but you however, are nothing more than a short ginger shopkeeper. You have nothing going for you." George smoothed down the front of his dress robes, and looked at Fred lopsidedly. "Shame really."
Fred had undressed as far as his boxers when he sat back against his pillows and yawned. "It's just a hole in your head." At this statement, George stopped trying to charm his hair and levitated a day-old pair of socks straight into Fred's yawning mouth.
"Girls will run away screaming, possibly running straight into my arms, which are coincidently attached to a man with the standard amount of orifices in his head," Fred said.
"That's where you are wrong; it's practically a get out of Azkaban free card. If I ever forget a girl's name, all I'll have do is-"
"Point to the ear and look like a little lost puppy. That is, quite frankly, a disgusting thing to do. Playing on women's sympathies like that just isn't right." Fred yawned again. "Why are you even up so early?"
George snorted and started checking his hair in the mirror. "What day is it now? Think really hard and I'm sure you'll get it."
"The wedding," Fred replied, "I thought that we agreed no pranks, that Mum would go completely berserk-"
"Our results," George said carefully, watching Fred's face go taut in recognition, "Are coming today."
"What'd you reckon? 'O' in Herbology at least, there has never been an easier exam." Fred said flippantly, getting up from the bed and picking his dress robes off the floor.
George smiled sadly, "Do you remember that day Dumbledore convinced us to do them?"
"He bought so much stuff..."
"You want 350 of each? Professor, that's not going to be cheap..."
"It'd be excellent for business, but you see, as we respect you as a person, it seems a bit extortionate." The twins looked up at Professor Dumbledore with matching expressions of uncertainty.
His eyes twinkled and he asked the twins, "May I ask what you would recommend in this case then?"
Fred looked at his twin who seemed to be working out numbers in his head. "Well, for a start, you could buy half the amount of the Shield Gloves, so that would be 175," George smiled, pleased with himself, "because the students would only really need one glove if you think about it, to cover their wand hand."
"And if one hand was jinxed off? I doubt very much you could cope with the remorse you would feel, going home to the Burrow for Sunday lunch, and watching forlornly as your sister attempts to tie up her hair with one hand. No, my mind is made up. For the sake of you two as well as the potential one-handed Hogwarts students, I shall have 350 Shield Hats, 350 Shield Gloves, and 350 Shield Cloaks." Dumbledore smiled at the look of excitement on the twins faces.
"Well if we can't convince you, then of course we shall oblige our customers!"
"We'll have your order ready for you next Tuesday! If," George added solemnly, "You haven't changed your mind, obviously."
Fred turned excitedly to George, "We'll have the money for a batch of Instant Darkness Powder from Peru!" George's face was a picture of confusion. "You know, Charlie told us about it, saved that mate of his from getting caught when they all snuck into that Ministry Official's room and stole her knickers and...Um..."
George replied with a delayed, "Oh yeah, stealing dragon eggs wasn't she? Mental place to put them when you think about it..." The two men looked at Dumbledore out of the corner of their eyes.
Dumbledore looked amused. He continued, "Gentlemen, away from that topic I think. Ah, if only you two had put this much enthusiasm into your studies."
Fred laughed, "Well, we definitely would have got five 'Outstandings', were it were not for circumstances beyond our control."
George sighed regretfully, "And, imagine it, the first time in history there would have been two Ministers for Magic."
Dumbledore nodded his head remorsefully, "The wizarding world has been deprived I'm very sure. And to think it was all because I left the school. That's very commendable loyalty indeed." Dumbledore's words made the twins replicate the famous Weasley blush and they starting muttering that it was nothing and that they had needed to test out some of the bigger Wheezes anyway.
"Don't belittle yourselves, you deserve a reward," Dumbledore persisted, with a slight upturn in the corners of his mouth. "In fact, I'll let you take your NEWTs this year," Dumbledore held up a hand to the protesting twins, "No, no, I must insist. What a joyous occasion it is indeed. I shall look forward to seeing you both Tuesday, and I shall bring your exam timetables. Goodbye."
As Dumbledore apparated outside the shop, Fred and George turned to each other in shock. "Bloody hell."
"Doesn't even give you a chance to say no does he?"
"Poor bloke," said George reverently. There was a tense silence for a few moments, where he unconsciously rubbed the wound where his ear should have been.
Fred finished putting his dress robes on and stood up. "Come on, let's go downstairs."
"I'm so sorry, I should just be happy that one of them is finally getting married, not crying." Molly sniffed and tried to push her husband's hands away.
Arthur ignored her and said in a soothing voice, "Don't say sorry, it's a family-" His voice broke and Molly whimpered. "It's a family occasion, and we are missing a family member. It's perfectly natural that you would miss him at this time." Molly's lower lip was quivering slightly, and Arthur felt his heart clench.
"Ma petit mademoiselle," he started, earning a quiet chortle from Molly, "You take some time out for yourself now Molly, forget the kids, the wedding, and certainly forget the French." He stroked her cheek and softly whispered, "Cry if you want to sweetheart."
Molly's face emerged into an affectionate smile. "Oh Arthur, how do I manage to be sad around you? I have a man who speaks terrible French to me, raised an entire Quidditch teams worth of children with me and holds me close at night, you are a wonderful, wonderful husband."
She tilted her head and kissed Arthur chastely. "I love you."
"And I love you dear. Now, we'll have a bit of a lie in, eh?"
Molly sighed and said, "I just want to get a drink, I won't be a minute."
"No you won't," said Arthur, linking their fingers. "Aguamenti," Arthur cast on a cup from Molly's dressing table. Molly smiled her thanks and sipped at it delicately as she leaned back onto her husband's chest.
Arthur held Molly against him and gently played with her hair. He pushed it off her forehead, and curled red locks into ringlets on his fingers. He was savouring what would probably be the most peaceful moments of the day, enjoying simply being with his wife and staring idly at the green land surrounding his home.
He squinted at the view outside his window, which was showing two Hogwarts owls approaching the Burrow. "Ginny's OWL results have already came haven't they dear?" he asked his wife.
Molly opened her eyes blearily and muttered, "Yes she did very well, didn't she?"
Arthur gently pushed Molly away so that she was sitting up herself, and he went to have a second look out of the window. "They are definitely Hogwarts owls. The books lists have been sent as well...Molly?"
She was looking suspiciously at the creatures headed for her house, and said, "Let's go down and have a look shall we?"
The twins stepped quietly past Ginny's room. When they got to their parents room, Fred held a hand up to George.
They could hear their mother crying, and Fred pointed at the door with a questioning look on his face. George nodded reluctantly, but as they moved to open the door they heard their father's voice comforting her.
Fred sighed in relief and continued walking. He turned around when he realised his twin wasn't following, and saw that George's head was cocked toward the door and his face was tensed in concentration. After waiting patiently for a moment, he motioned for George to come away from the door, which he did.
They got to the kitchen, and George turned to Fred. "Percy." The boys gave each other disgusted looks, and then settled themselves in the chairs opposite the window.
Fred's tired eyes were closing, and George had rearranged his hair several times before they heard a soft flapping of wings outside the window. George opened the window as quietly as he could, removed the two letters from the owls, and then shut it again.
Fred took the offered envelope and stared at it. George asked, "At the same time then?" Fred nodded and gave him a smirk, before ripping open the envelope and reading the parchment inside.
NASTILY EXHAUSTING WIZARDING TESTS RESULTS:
Pass Grades: Outstanding (O), Exceeds Expectations (E), Acceptable (A)
Fail Grades: Poor (P), Dreadful (D), Troll (T)
FRED WEASLEY HAS ACHEIVED:
Charms - P
Defence Against the Dark Arts - D
Herbology - T
Transfiguration - P
A quick swap of results showed the same thing.
"I don't understand how this happened."
"Well I guess we probably should have studied a bit more-"
"The practicals were fine, Flitwick was crying with happiness in our Charms one..."
"It must have been the written papers then." Their eyes met.
"We'll burn them."
"Let the gnomes eat them."
"I still don't understand how-"
"Undoubtedly, these results are false."
"Anyway, before anyone comes in-"
The door opened. "Boys? Oh Molly, it's for Fred and George. Business I suppose?" Mr Weasley relaxed into the rocking chair when he saw his two sons. He glanced up at them and asked, "By the way boys, could you find a Muggle to use for Harry's Polyjuice Potion later on?"
Mrs Weasley however, was staring at the parchment in George's limp right hand. "Boys, why do you have letters from Hogwarts?" She placed her hands on her hips and glared at them. "Well?"
"We were talking to Dumbledore about-"
"Hagrid was asking us-"
They both cut off as they realised their mistake. Fred quickly continued, "Well we wanted some of Hagrid's help with the Puffs so we sent a letter to Hogwarts instead of straight to him, in case he'd gone away for summer and wasn't in or something, and then Dumbledore got the letter and he was asking us how we were and how the shop was going and..."
"I see." Fred heard George let out a small exhalation behind him. "So, that explains why there are two owls then doesn't it?"
Fred immediately stepped back, causing him and George to trip slightly until he was backed up against the door. Fred looked longingly at his Cleansweep, thinking about how much he would like to leave the kitchen and his mother.
With a flick of her wand, Fred's parchment zoomed into her hands and George's into Mr Weasley's. She placed her wand on the table and read the parchment. Fred saw red spots begin to rise on Mrs Weasley's cheeks, so he made one last-ditch effort to save the situation. "Well, I'll admit we failed our NEWTs good and proper, but at least we're not going to be unemployed."
Molly stared at him.
Fred and George were fiddling with their broomsticks; both were thinking sadly of the expanse of open air outside their home.
For a moment, it could have gone either way. The moment passed.
"Where's my wand?"
"Mollywobbles, don't you think-"
"GET BACK HERE!" Arthur had slowed her down for only a moment, and Mrs Weasley easily twisted out from his grasp to stab her wand viciously through the air. Electric blue sparks shot out toward George's broom, making it buck while he was trying to get on.
"YOU THINK YOU CAN FAIL YOUR NEWTS JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A JOB? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THREW AWAY A SECOND CHANCE!"
"I'm sure they tried their best Molly," protested Mr Weasley. "I mean between looking after the shop and You-Know-Who, it's not that much of a surprise." George stopped trying to direct his resisting broom and beamed his appreciation at his father.
Mrs Weasley drowned out her sons' thanks with a bellow, "WELL THEY WOULDN'T HAVE NEEDED TO MIND THE SHOP IF THEY DID THEIR NEWTS THE FIRST TIME ROUND!" She sent another bolt of sparks at George's broom, causing him to fall into the garden.
Fred, who had been hovering about the house for a while now, dipped down and grabbed George, who settled himself behind Fred. George grinned and used the arm that wasn't holding onto his brother to wave at a furious-looking Fleur and a giggly Gabrielle, who were looking out of their window. "Don't worry darling, we'll be back for the wedding!" George hollered. And with that, Fred urged his broom away from the Burrow and Mrs Weasley's blue sparks.
"Those boys!" said Mrs Weasley furiously. She started to make breakfast, muttering angrily at various pots and pans when Ginny walked down the stairs. She hugged her mother good morning and went to whisper in her father's ear.
"That exit is getting to be a habit of theirs you know."
This was written for the 62 Hardships Competition set by Dazzled-Midnight-Melody, and my prompts were 29 - failing your NEWTS, and 62 - being hexed by a Weasley woman. Thanks for reading!