I have been asked to write down the story of my life. It is really with a sense of dread that I pick up my pen because I learnt long ago that looking back brings nothing but unhappiness. It is much more productive and cheering to look forward. I do not like to dwell on my mistakes. I prefer to plan my future. If then, I seem to skim over certain aspects of my tale, that is as it is. Some things are best forgotten.
I shall begin my story when I was sixteen. Sixteen is a wonderful age. I used to wish I could have stayed sixteen forever. When I was sixteen my life was full of parties, beautiful dresses, good food, and friends. I was surrounded by the love of my family and the adoration of as many charming young men as I wished. That was before the war came and stole everything away. It happened like this.
The Wilkes were having a barbeque...
No, I can't do it. I don't wish to recall my painful past. To be honest, it doesn't show me in a very good light. I will offer you instead this brief summary:
I married at the age of sixteen, and was widowed two months later when my husband died of pneumonia in army camp. Nearly every other young man of my acquaintance also died in the war. Sherman's army destroyed all the cotton plantations and reduced us to subsistence farming. I married again to get enough money to survive. My second husband died when he was shot in the head in a Klu Klux Klan raid. I married my third husband because he was handsome and rich. I ruined my chance of happiness with him by being thoughtless and selfish. We had a daughter who died in an accident at the age of three. Then I had an accident myself and was very ill for some time. Just as I recovered from that my best friend had a miscarriage and died, and my husband left me.
That is my sorry tale. I am only 28, but I feel as if I have lived 100 years already. I miss my husband Rhett very much. Some days I don't know how I shall go on - But now I am sounding morose. That is what recalling the past does to me. Surely the future cannot be worse than what has already been. I am a survivor. But I will do more than survive. I will make Rhett love me again.