Authors note: There's a saying in that first love never lasts. This story is about letting go of the first person you have ever loved before.

Standard disclaim apply.

::Chapter 1::

Kaoru nervously took a deep breath. Her hands were shaking almost uncontrollably and she didn't want to walk into the coffee shop in that state. She didn't want him to know just how much he still disturbed her after all these years.

It's now or never, Kaoru, she scolded herself before reaching for the door. She was half tempted to run away yet again. Chuckling at her foolish reaction, she pushed the door open and walked into the cozy coffee shop she knew Kenshin was waiting for her in.

The moment she took a step into the store, she felt a sense of déjà vu as she set her eyes on the familiar red hair.

Kenshin.

He was sitting with his back to the door, so he hadn't seen her yet. He still looked as good as ever. Inwardly, she grimaced at that thought.

Taking small, hesitant steps toward him, she stopped when she was right behind him, taking the image of him all in, treasuring it. She jumped slightly when he suddenly turned around and grinned.

"Kaoru!" he exclaimed, grinning.

Taken back, she overreacted trying to hide her reaction to his presence.

"Ahahaha! Hey, how've you been, Kenshin," she laughed forcibly, smacking him really hard on the back.

"Ow~ you still have the most powerful arms of any girls I know, huh?" he grimaced as he tried to massage his back.

That brought a genuine smile to her face.

"Yeah," she agreed. "Not much has changed."

He smiled quietly, and nodded. "Indeed."

"Well, let me put my stuff down and order a cup of coffee," she said, putting her purse down and taking her coat off.

Kenshin jumped up. "No, no. You sit down; I'll order your drink. What would you like?"

Kaoru hesitated. "You sure?"

Kenshin smiled and nodded. "Yeah."

After a brief moment, Kaoru nodded. "Ok. Can you order me a tall, double-shot, soy caramel macchiato?"

Kenshin's eyes popped open. "Man, such a mouthful," he laughed. "Ok, hold on."

As Kenshin walked away, Kaoru couldn't keep her eyes off of his form. Sitting down, she quietly observed him.

He hadn't changed much over the years. He seemed to have grown some but that was it. His mannerisms and laid-back personality was unchanged and it reminded her of all their good old days together.

It had been almost 6 years since she had last seen Kenshin. She couldn't remember why they had broken up, just that they had.

Sadly, it was after that they had broken up that she had realized just how much he had meant to her. But by then, it had been too late.

Wistfully, she smiled sadly as she remembered wishing for years for Kenshin to come after her. It had been 6 years, and he never had. And she had learned to let go.

Kaoru smiled as Kenshin approached with a tray full of mini desserts and her mug of soy caramel macchiato.

"Still flirting with anything female?" she teased.

Kenshin laughed. "What? No way!"

She thanked him as he handed her the mug of coffee. Taking a sip, she studied him as he sat studying her, sipping his cup of coffee.

"It's been a long time," Kenshin said.

Kaoru nodded. "Yeah, it has been. How have you been? I heard you just came back from your two year mandatory service in the army."

Grimacing, Kenshin nodded. "It was horrible. You're so lucky you're female."

Kaoru laughed. "Agreed."

"I've heard news of you from time to time from people," she offered.

"I used to stalk your facebook," he replied, embarrassed.

Laughing, Kaoru nodded. "Can't say I haven't done that either."

Together, they laughed at their embarrassment.

Just like that, Kenshin and Kaoru fell into a calm camaraderie like back in high school. Laughing at personal anecdotes and teasing each other, they caught up each other on their lives.

Kaoru felt the familiar yearning stir in her heart as she sat, listening to Kenshin talk about his life that she no longer was part of. The all too familiar sadness took hold of her.

As their conversation came to a lull, Kenshin glanced at his watch.

"Man, it's already been this long? I'm sorry, Kaoru but I got to go now," Kenshin said, looking apologetic.

"Yeah, you did mention that you wouldn't be able to stay too long."

Kenshin grinned. "Yeah, I have a plane to catch in two hours. Gotta head to the airport now."

Quizzically, Kaoru inclined her head. "Business trip?"

If ever, Kenshin's smile grew even brighter. "Nope. I'm heading to Japan."

"Oh! You've always wanted to go, didn't you?"

Kenshin nodded. "Well, I've been there many times since high school but this time it's special."

Kaoru looked at Kenshin questioningly.

"Kaoru, I'm getting married!"

In shock, Kaoru dropped the mug that she had been about to drink from. The mug emptied the remaining coffee all over her black suit before landing on the floor with a resounding crash, shattering into pieces.

"Kaoru!" Kenshin exclaimed, rushing over to her in shock.

Kaoru gave a nervous laughter, blushing from the effort it took to control her sudden urge to cry.

"I…I'm okay, Kenshin. I was just shocked…"

"Idiot," he muttered as he handed her napkins.

Kaoru smiled, hiding her pain very well. "Yeah. That's me."

She avoided meeting his eyes, making attempts to dry the coffee off her suit.

She groaned. "I just had this dry cleaned."

"You okay?" he asked quietly.

Kaoru gazed up, smiling brightly at him. "What? Oh, yeah. I'm okay. Just a bit shocked. So, married, eh? Whew. So early!"

Kenshin gave a small smile. "Yeah, but you know I've always wanted to marry early."

"But at 23? Didn't see that one coming," she muttered. "Anyways, let's head out now, shall we? You have a plane to catch, and I now have a suit to get cleaned."

Kenshin seemed to hesitate for a moment. "…yeah."

Giving him another false, bright smile, she stood and pulled her coat on, hiding the coffee stain. Picking up her purse, she headed to the barista to apologize for the mug and the extra work she had created for the poor girl. She dropped a twenty-dollar bill into the tip jar and headed for the door where Kenshin was waiting for her.

"So…I guess this is goodbye?" she said.

"Well, I'm moving nearby after I come back to the States. Let's have dinner when I do, you know, double date. You and your man, me and my wife," he suggested.

Kaoru smiled. "Yeah, sure," she agreed, not bothering to correct him and tell him she was single because she had no intentions of ever seeing him again. It would be too hard for her to see him married…to another girl.

Kenshin pulled her into a bear hug. "It was great seeing you again, Kaoru. I'll see you when I get back."

Kaoru gave a brave smile, feeling the torrent of tears brewing inside. "It was great seeing you, too. Have a great wedding and good luck! Be happy!"

She quickly turned away and walked away, unable to watch him any longer.

"Kaoru!" he called.

She stopped, but didn't turn.

"I'll call you when I get back! Bye!"

She heard him hail a cab and slam the door closed. As soon as she heard the cab drive off, she let the tears fall.

Kaoru picked up her phone and dialed.

'Hello?'

"Misao…."

'Kaoru?'

Kaoru bit back a sob. "Kenshin…he's getting married!"

Finally, her self-control broke, as she sank to the floor on the busy street of New York. People gave her strange looks as they walked around her.

'What? What? Kaoru, where are you? Come over here now!'

Kaoru sobbed as she nodded, pulling herself up. "Okay…I need a drink."

With tears streaming down her face, Kaoru hailed a cab and stepped in. She sat staring out the window with unseeing eyes, reminiscing down memory lane.

Reality sat in.

So, this is how my first love ends, she thought sadly. She sighed, regretting.

If only…

If only I could turn back time.

I would make things right…