Title: Memoirs of a Dead Guy
Author: ME!
Rating: Teen or FR15
Summary: It was the summer of 69…and I was dead! The tale of a young reaper's quest to save the man he loves! Sort of Dead Like Me Crossover Slash
Warning: Um…Slash and Death! Mentions of Rape but nothing graphic.
"Memoirs of a Dead Guy"
It was the summer of sixty nine…and I was dead. No…not dead to the world…actually dead. As in six feet under. Kick the bucket. All that wonderful stuff that people like to say when they think dead is too harsh of a word. I was dead. Killed my a maniac who decided that my name was much too manly for me and proceeded to butcher me to death. And I mean full on butcher. They still have not been able to find some of my pieces.
But that was years ago. Way…way…long ago. It was now 2006 and I was a doctor of medicine. And yes, before you ask, I am still dead. Sucks really. One minute I'm dead, the next they decide that I am going to be a freakin reaper! Which…for anyone who is not at all smart…means the Grim Reaper. Yes everyone, that is right! I am the official Grim Reaper! Well…at least one of them. There is actually quite a bit of us out there. There kinda has to be; there are over 6 billion people out there! One man cannot do it alone! So they appointed me to my one hospital…since there is so much death that goes on there.
So here I sit, at the wonderful Sacred Heart Hospital, and listen to my wonderful Latina friend Carla cuss out her husband, and my best friend Turk. Apparently forgetting her birthday and just trying to make it up with sex was not a good thing. Who knew? But it was funny…being around these people. They made me feel alive again! Well…alive as I could be without actually coming alive again. You know the deal.
"Common man! Stand up for a brother why don't you!"
"Sorry Chocolate Bear, but I'm with Carla on this one. Sex is just not the answer."
And of course they did not believe me, judging by the looks on their faces. Stupid not being able to lie face!
"Bambi, you feeling alright?" Carla asked, going full mother hen mode. She tried to feel my forehead but I moved back quickly. She looked kind of hurt, but understood completely. In all my years of knowing them…I just did not like to be touched. Not at all. Not even a a "kid". When you are raped by a mad man, then butchered to death, touch really doesn't appeal to you.
"Pricilla! Stop sharing beauty secrets with your boyfriend and come with me!" a voice yelled from behind me. And if I was a dog…I would have rolled over and exposed my belly already. That voice…belonged to one of the most gorgeous men that I have ever met in my life. And he just happened to hate my guts.
"See ya'll later!" I grinned and turned around, instantly following my mentors snapping fingers. I could hear Turk snort after me, but it didn't matter.
If there was one person in this entire world who I wanted to touch me…it was Dr. Cox…
But that would probably never happen. I knew as much. But it was still a wish…
---
"NO FREAKIN WAY!!!"
"Now John…"
"No! I am not going to do that!"
"It is his time!"
"Not if I can help it!"
"You can't do anything and you know it!"
"Just watch me…"
---
Okay folks, if you haven't figured it out from the last passage…I have to take someone's soul today. Around 4 o'clock in the afternoon. And for anyone who guessed who the lucky jerk is…you get a cookie.
And I hope you choke on it!
How in the heck am I supposed to take the soul of the man who I want to touch me? Sure…Dr. Cox can be mean to me…but I was 24 when I died. And I was still a virgin. Or I was until the maniac. But I digress.
I haven't been touched by a person since then. I have never wanted to be. I mean, sure, I would touch them as much as I wanted to. I was a doctor after all. But not once have I ever let anyone voluntarily do so to me. But now…that would never happen. Because I had to kill Perry Cox…
Well…maybe not kill him…but I had to stand by and watch him die so that I could take his soul to heaven. And that was worse then anything that I could ever do.
I still haven't figured out how to do this yet…how to stop him from dying. You see…I know how he is going to die. All reapers do when they get their post-it note. Sort of an upgrade from a few years ago when you just got name, time, and place.
Dr. Perry Cox was going to have a patient by the name of Benjamin Pruett, Benny for short. And Benny happens to be high as a kite…so he doesn't realize that he has a knife in his hands until it is stabbed into Perry's gut. And Perry will then die…with his friends surrounding him and trying to save his life.
---
It is 3:58 in the afternoon…and I have yet to touch Dr. Cox. I see the gremlins…and I see Benny…but all I can focus on is Perry…I can't let him die…I can't let him die…I CAN'T LET HIM DIE!!
"I can't let you die!" I shout, startling Dr. Cox into looking my way. Benny…the little rat…does also. But he doesn't loose focus for very long; he is surprisingly alert for someone as doped up as he is. But when his thrusts that knife…it is not Dr. Cox he hits…which confuses the heck out of him. I can see it in his face…just as I can see the knife in my gut.
I notice a lot of things as I fall to the ground. I notice the shouts of those around me, and the look pure horror on Carla's face as she tries not to cry. She is holding on to Turk, who got down from surgery at almost light speed. I wonder if he is related to the Flash…
"Newbie! What in the hell have you done?" Dr. Cox snarled as he clutched me to him…trying to stop the blood. He was touching me…he was actually touching me! Tears of happiness filled my eyes as I smiled up into his face.
"What have you done?" he whispered as he bent forward, his forehead touching mine. I pushed closer, wincing at the pain as my blood flowed out of me.
"I couldn't let him take away the one person in the world who I wanted to touch me," I grinned and closed my eyes. It was hard to keep them open now. I could hear Perry yelling at me to stay awake, to fight it…and then:
"Newbie! Newbie! Please…JD…don't leave me!"
I wish I could stay Dr. Cox…Perry…but it's too late now…
"Damn it Newbie! You said you wanted me to touch you right? Well if you live through this I will make you cum so hard it will make your head spin! Now snap out of it and come back to me!"
"Ew! That is so gross!"
"Turk, if it keeps him alive, let Perry sex him up! Now hush!"
Carla and Turk are funny when they fight…Sex…wait…did Perry…Sex…he said SEX!!! I WANT TO LIVE!!!
---
I am not really sure how exactly it happened. One minute I am dying, and then next I am in Perry's room spooning with him after a long night of wonderful…blissful…changing of my bandages and screaming while he yells at me and bashes me upside the head for being so stupid. Nope…no sex for me…not for quite a while yet. The doctor…not Perry because he would have yelled at me the whole time…told me that sex was not an option for another six months. My body needed time to heal. Because…apparently…I could do that now! Yep…I have no clue why…but I am alive now…and I mean physically alive. I can bleed, as I have spectacularly showed on that hospital floor! Which Janitor immediately centered on so that now anytime I come into the hospital there are "NO BLEEDING ON MY CLEAN FLOORS" signs floating around everywhere.
I would ask Michael…my post-it giver…but I can't find him…I can't find any of the reapers…I guess since I am alive…that it no longer matters…
"Go to sleep Newbie…"
Yeah…I was pretty tired now…I think that sleeping would be nice. And with that nice, warm body pressed against me…this could be close enough to heaven that I could ever get…
---
"So wait…JD's not a reaper anymore?"
"Nope."
"And why not? I mean…did he disappear?"
"Nope."
"So…did he move on?"
"Nope."
"Then what the heck happened to him Michael?"
"Love is the greatest thing that God gifted to this world."
"And…what in the heck does that mean?"
"You figure it out."
"Michael…have you been in the hee hash again?"
"Just take the post-it."
"Okay! Okay! So who do I have now…waita sec…"
"Ted! I have Ted! You mean he is finally going to go through with it? YES! Becca owes me twenty bucks!"
END SCENE
You know…I have no clue what this was! I really do not! Oh well! Just review please!!!