Title: I Feel I'm To Blame
Rating: K+
Summary: Post Epi – Drive. You did your best, Mulder. I know that you blame yourself, but you really don't have to. You were great...Scully POV! Please R/R!
Disclaimer: The X-Files, Mulder and Scully are not mine!
----------
I Feel I'm To Blame
„Scully" I mumbled sleepily.
„Hey Scully, it's me"
„Mulder? Do you know what time it is?" I asked.
„Umm...yeah. Sorry" He told me.
„It's okay. What do you want?"
„Can we just talk?" He asked me softly.
„Sure...go on"
„No, not on the phone. Can I come over?"
„Now? Mulder, it's 2 AM. I'm tired and I really wanna go to sleep." I told him.
„Please?" He asked softly.
„Oh, Mulder...I don't know. Can it wait until tomorrow?" I asked but he didn't answer.
„You still there?" I asked a little later.
„Mmhh" I got as an answer. I sighed.
„All right, Mulder. I'm going to make some coffee. See you soon"
„Thanks, Scully" I heard him say before I hang up the phone. I laid back down on the bed and closed my eyes. A few minutes later I fell asleep. I slept about thirty minutes, when I heard whispering. I felt something warm on my skin, on my cheek. Slowly I opened my eyes and found Mulder looking at me. His hand softly caressed my cheek.
„Mulder? What are you doing here?"
„You said I could come over."
„Oh, yeah. Coffee. I forgot the coffee. I think I just fell asleep. I'm sorry."
„It's okay. I don't need coffee anyway" He told me, smiling slightly. I nodded.
„So, you wanted to talk?" I asked as I sat up on the bed.
„Not really..." He whispered.
„But on the phone-" I said confused.
„Yeah, I know. I just...I don't know. I thought about what happened today and I think-"
„No, stop it, Mulder" I cut him off. „You did your best, Mulder. I know that you blame yourself, but you really don't have to. You were great" I told him, looking straight into his eyes. He shook his head.
„No I wasn't. I could have saved him."
„That's enough, Mulder. Stop blaming yourself! It wasn't your fault, it just happened, do you understand?" I spoke up. „Do you understand, Mulder?" I repeated.
„Why are you doing this, Scully? I can't just forget about it..."
„I don't ask you to. I can't forget about it either. I just don't want you to blame yourself. There is no one to blame." I told him and began smiling slightly, when he finally nodded. I yawned and Mulder shook his head.
„Scully, I'm sorry....I shouldn't have waked you up. You can go to sleep. I'm going to stay for a while if you don't mind."
„That's okay. You can stay here as long as you want, Mulder" I said to him and meant it. He smiled and nodded.
„Lay down" I grinned and laid down on the bed. He pulled the covers up under my chin and gave me a gentle kiss on the forehead. „Thanks" I said, Mulder nodded. He turned off the light and left the room. A little later I heard the television being switched on. I smiled to myself at the thought of what he probably is going to watch. I shook my head slightly but continued to smile. I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly. Not even an hour later I was awakened by somewhat nasty noises. Oh no, I thought and sighed. I climbed out of bed and went into the living room. I turned off the tv right away. Mulder was laying on the couch with his eyes closed, snoring a little. He was wrapped up in a blanket. I smiled and knelt down on the floor beside the couch. I let my fingers brush his dark brown hair ever so slightly. Suddenly he moved and seconds later his eyes flew open.
„I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you..." I said apologetically and pulled my hand away quickly.
„You didn't. How come you aren't asleep?" He asked softly.
„I heard somewhat nasty noises..." I told him, smiling slightly.
„Next time I will turn the tv off"
„Promise?"
„I promise" He said and nodded.
„You look kinda cute when you're sleeping" I said a little later, giggling.
„Oh, really?"
„Yeah...only if you're asleep." I said still giggling and ready to run off. Mulder grabbed my wrist and pulled me on top of him. We both laughed hard, as we wrestled.
„Say again?"
„You look-" He began to tickle me. „Stoooop, Mulder!" I said laughing. „Okay okay, you always look cute" I said and he stopped tickling me instantly.
„Thank you" He told me smiling. I hit him playfully on the chest.
„Could you let me go?" I asked and raised an eyebrow at him.
„Later perhaps..."
„Later? Mulder...I want to go to sleep"
„If you want to go to sleep, then go to sleep, Scully."
„What? Here?" I asked confused.
„Yeah, right here."
„Why?" I asked.
„Why not?" He said. I sighed and shook my head.
„Scully, I didn't mean- If it makes you feel uncomfortable you can just go."
„It does a little..." I said reluctantly, not looking at him.
„Why is that?" He asked me, softly.
„I-I don't know. Maybe I'm just afraid." I told him.
„What are you afraid of, Scully? Me?"
„No...I think I'm afraid of getting hurt" I confessed.
„Look at me" He said and lifted my chin so that I was looking at him. „I could never hurt you"
„I know" I whispered and laid down against his chest. He wrapped one arm protectively around my middle and held me close. He caressed my cheek and stroked my hair.
„Mulder, I lo-"
„I know," He cut off „I love you, too" He told me softly and tightened the grip on me. I smiled against his chest and closed my eyes and began dreaming.
The End
-------------------
A/N: Liked it? Hated it? I want to know...Please review! :)