Here I am again, just like every other day; alone I within my thoughts, and alone with each passing day. The air in the room is a bit warm because of the new temperature on the outside. I simply gaze out the burnished windows to my left, then glance at the clock on right, and turn my eyes back to the world on the other side. I begin performing calculations as to how much longer I had to wait before I could feel nature's caresses.
I sighed apathetically, 'Thirty minutes.'
Sitting in class with my black ripped jeans, chains hanging off the sides, that system of a down shirt I love so much, my hair messy because of my lack of hygiene, and my everyday stoic attitude I portray at Singling High.
Well my name's Gaara, if you were wondering, and I'm here in my last class for the day, Calculus. I'm currently a Senior, and I'll be graduating sometime in May of next semester. It's two weeks from Halloween, so the air outside is forming bits of "winter bites". (As Temari calls it.)
I'm not a completely emotional person like everyone categorizes me as, so I do have feelings, I just choose not to display them like some museum. Although, I can exhibit hate, sorrow, and depression on an expert scale. I have lots of secrets too, but I'm not spilling those any time soon. Especially no to Temari, and hell no to Kankuro.
I have the patience of a bull and my anger management issues aren't really something to mess with. Especially when that dumb blonde-headed kid actually tries talking to me, and it's not that I don't mind it so much. I mean, at least someone talks to me, it's not like I don't want to talk to anyone. I just wish others would call me something other than "freak", "loner", "pervert" (which by the way doesn't make any sense at all since I am a sanitary guy within my imagination), and "that one emo kid".
I groaned while sinking into my chair and sliding my eyes shut. Do you honestly like placing stamps on everyone's foreheads? Just simply classifying them as "this and that"? I understand that that's how the school runs and all (at least by the students), but I wish we could for at least a week without second guessing on who to talk to or not talk to because it'll "ruin your reputation".
"Gaara, I asked you a question."
"Hm?" 'Was I daydreaming again?' I scanned the classroom to find everyone staring at me with twinkles in their little gremlin eyes.
"Only a freak would stare at the wall like that. . . ." One laughs, another giggles.
"I bet he was performing one of his little rituals again." Someone from the front snickers.
"Gaara, could I see you after class?" Mr. Asuma raises an eyebrow.
I know I'm not his favorite student, but I'm pretty sure I'm his least. Right now, he was sending off those radio waves of dismay and disappointment. I'm not feeling guilty, if that's what he's trying to do, but I am getting annoyed.
"Hn." I agreed lazily, and dragged my eyes to the left again; the birds gliding and wings slicing the air as if it were whipped cream. Clouds leisurely block the suns rays and the grass simply continues swaying back and forth.
I'm not that much of a violent guy, I do have some thoughts that are quite mature, so I just hope you don't take the time to judge me by how I dress or who I hang out with. Sometimes I think I'm naturally poetic, which is a hobby I picked up about two years ago when I moved from Suna to Konoha.
Which reminds me, I have friends. Yes, even someone like myself has others to back me up, but they're all at my old school in Suna…which is like… a 20 hour drive? 30? I don't know, something like that. After father died, Temari, Kankuro, and I moved from Suna to Konoha for more job opportunities, and better colleges. Temari attends Konoha University, while Kankuro attends South Nora University. It's not as fabulous and K.U., but it's in his price range.
I've been attending Singling High for about two years now, and I still haven't made a single friend. I guess it's mostly my fault since I never take the time to talk to anyone, or actually plan to do something. Honestly, I'm too busy studying. I know I might not seem like that type of person, but I do care about my future. But right now, I was impatient and wanted to go home. Reason? Today was our Homecoming Game, and I really didn't want to go, I'd rather just leave as quickly as possible.
"Class dismissed!" I sighed with relief. Those were the two words I'd been praying for all day.
I placed my arms through my black jacket, and walked out without zipping it up. My locker was far away from my last class, so I went ahead and placed my headphones in my ears and placed my iPod on shuffle.
A few songs went by and so did classrooms and strange, but familiar, looks went by as well. I couldn't hear complete sentences, but I did catch the usual quotes. (I'm sure you know what those are by now.)
Groups, circles, labels, cliques, whatever you wanna call them, they were all standing next to the lockers, chatting on about Homecoming and the game tonight. They'd pass their usual glances my way, but other than that, it stayed the same. The same thing everyday…
I feel it everyday it's all the same Over and over, over and over
It brings me down but I'm the one to blame
I've tried everything to get away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
And there it was, the highlight of my day, the main reason why I come to school. That feathery yet adamantine emotion swims within me and catapults me into the ocean to drown. I wake up every morning with headaches from light sleeping because of all the daydreaming I'd been doing. I reflect on the day before and groan at the thought of today having the same effect, the same outcome, the thing everyday.
Excuse my romantic hormones, but when she saunters past me on the hallway that ardor to murder her overwhelms my senses. And it's not because I hate her, it's because of what does to me; it overtakes my body. That sweet strawberry scent coasts through my thought of rejection, and I shiver in anticipation for more. I daydream about the want to just touch that ashen skin that was ever so lightly placed upon her fragile yet curvy body. And when she walks, her hair follows fluently as she runs her fingers through it to have the front create a wave of bangs that bounces with every step she takes closer, and closer.
I guess you could say I've been "crazy for her" for about two years. Ever since the first day of school, actually, the first day we moved here. Whether she likes it or not, I live a few blocks down across the street from her. I'm not a stalker, it's just that every time there's a party, someone's mentions her name and that street address, or I can just walk outside to my mailbox and see pink hair or Uchiha's car.
It feels like everyday stays the same Over and over, over and over
It's dragging me down and I can't pull away
So here I go again
Chasing you down again
Why do I do this?
I fall for you
Over and over, over and over
I try not to
Over and over, over and over
You make me fall for you
Over and over, over and over
You don't even try
"Shit!" I curse aloud as a sharp pain circulates within my skull.
Here I am again, just like every other day, falling on the floor with a bruised forehead because of that hypnotic frequency she sends off. I'm a complete idiot, don't you agree? How easily I can be hypnotized, as if I'm some ravenous dog with a kitten on his nose.
"Sasuke-kun!" Like I've been saying, my life hasn't changed, unfortunately, neither has hers.
"Hey, going to the game tonight?" He lightly kissed her forehead and wraps his muscular arms around her thin waist.
I think I just glared in envy. Perhaps if I were that strong, confident, and "high on the food chain" (labels and all, if you know what I mean) then maybe she'd want me instead of him? I wonder…
"Of course I am! Cheer captain, duh!" Pathetic, right? (Not her, me.)
How could someone like me, (emphasis on me) with labels such as: goth/emo, fall for someone who gets the labels: cheerleader/prep? I don't understand what's going on! I've honestly never been this entranced by the mere sight of anyone in my entire life! Why now?
"I mine as well lay here and stare at the ceiling. . . ." I sighed dramatically. "I'm so pathetic."
"Gaara?" A voice from above calls to me.
"Hm."
"Why are you on the floor?" By now, I analyzed the tone in the sound frequencies and came to a conclusion that it was Shikamaru who was speaking to me.
Ok, so maybe I was exaggerating when I'd said I didn't have any friends, but hey, I hardly have time to hang out with Shikamaru! So basically, I don't have "friends".
"Why do you think?"
I opened my eyes and watched as he turned his around, and smirked at a certain pink and black haired couple having tongue sex.
I sighed again, and he noticed.
"C'mon Gaara," He held out his hand, and I gladly accepted it. "You can't chase someone this long, and still expect results. It's time to move on."
I rolled my eyes. "Perhaps I don't want to move on." I mumbled childishly.
He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "It's never gonna happen. You're a city born finch, while she's a Brazilian Macaw. Do you think that would ever work out?"
"Well, I mean-"
"She's from Brazil (not literally), and you're from some crazy place no one ever hears about, like… Oregon."
"Shikamaru, this doesn't make any-"
"Brazil," He held up one hand. "Oregon," He put that one down and put up the other. "Brazil. Orgeon. Brazil. Oregon. Pretty. Plain. Smarter. Smart. See, she has the dominant genes, and she needs the alpha male," pointing towards Sasuke "to raise her pack."
"Do birds even have packs?" I pondered, thinking of wolves instead.
"Move, you're in my way, weirdo!" We turned to find a tall blonde haired girl with a high ponytail and thick layer of make-up. Her name's Ino Yamanaka, not as pretty and perfect as Sakura, but much more popular. In my opinion, she's not even close the words "pretty", or "decent" with a two-inch powdered mask.
I cocked my head to the side, 'Is she challenging me?' And there I stood, staring at her directly in the eyes, while she stared back. 'I'm not afraid', I thought cockily. I know I'm going to win, I always win.
What she doesn't know, is that I have the ability to show no emotion and change the mood in the atmosphere with one simple glance; she flinched once, then twice. My "powers" already having an effect. Her brow had a quick muscle spasm, and that straight line turned to a worried frown.
As for me? My face didn't twitch, nor did I blink. I did move closer to her, though, and she slowly moved back. I put my face closer and closer to hers, sending that nightmarish aura towards her.
"Ino?" My eyes grew wide and my face worried. The blonde noticed but I glared back at her, a sign for her shut the hell up.
"Hey, what's going on?" Sasuke joined in. "Are these punks messing with you baby?" I mentally upchucked. If I were a girl, I'd much rather be called by my real name.
"No," She smiled. "What's going on, Ino?"
"These freaks are just standing here, staring my beautiful face!" She shivered while I chuckled internally.
Then Sasuke stuck out his chest and stood in front of me. I'll admit, he was intimidating, but after being so numb from all the hassle I've been through my entire life, I hardly ever feel pain.
"Never seen you around here, are you new?" I was a taken aback by his question but answered anyway.
"No, I moved here two years ago, and I've had at least three classes with you the year before, and last year."
"Hn." He thought for a minute. "Wonder why I never noticed you?"
"It's 'cause he's a freak." Ino mumbled, sticking her tongue out at me when I glared.
"Sakura." He called her out as if she were his slave.
"Yes Sasuke?" She obediently responded.
"What's his status?"
"His name is Gaara. Middle and last name are currently unknown. He has two siblings, Temari and Kankuro. As for level? I'd say he's a 7A."
It hurt a little when she didn't even glance at me, but how did she know so much?
"7A? What's that?" Shikamaru questioned.
"Ugh, what a total WB." Ino mumbled and rolled her eyes.
"No, he's just CL." Sakura smiled sweetly at him. (not me)
"Tch, like there's a difference!" She whined.
"You know how there's four classes? Well, each one gets a letter: Freshman D, Sophomore C, Junior B, and Senior A. Got that so far?" He didn't even nod, because her remark either made him feel stupid, annoying, or she's boring him. "Now there's 8 different levels: Jock, Diva/Athlete, Rocker, Skater, Band, Nerd, Emo, and Other."
"So your job is to go around school and categorize everyone by what they look like and not by who they really are?" I questioned intelligently.
She didn't respond, nor did she acknowledge my existence, and this made my thoughts and emotions drift through so many doubts, it felt as if sleeping tonight was a possibility that was unreachable.
"So you're Gaara?" He pointed.
'Duh genius.' "Hn."
"And you're-" He pointed towards Shikamaru, but he wasn't there. "where'd your friend go?"
'Why would I know? I'm too busy trying to figure out why she's not looking at me.'
"Sakura, let's go! I wanna get to my house and change into our uniforms!"
"Alright, sounds like a good idea!" And without even glancing back, they skipped off with dumb nut right behind them.
Wow, why did I feel like shit?
I know I could've done better,
But that Three Days Grace song was just begging me to write a story like this!
Review if you'd like,
I just might make a chapter two.
Perhaps..
(Song: Three Days Grace/Over and Over)